Finding yourself when being healed of sin

Have you ever had a personality trait or habit you knew you had to get rid of, but were afraid it would alter your being so much you wouldn’t recognize yourself afterwards?

I was talking about this with a friend who is in the habit of getting high. I try not to judge her at all, and she trusts me. So when she calls to talk about whatever just happened that again underscores the point that getting high isn’t such a great idea, I talk to her about it logically.

This last time, our discussion centered on her being unsure of who she is without getting high. What would she be like? Would her friends still want to hang out with her? Are these friends the best people to hang out with in the first place?

It reminded me of my own transition from thinking my sexuality defined who I am (I’ve written about this before). I was pretty convinced from adolescence onward that if I wasn’t getting attention from guys, I wasn’t really in the room. A friend of mine warned me at one point in high school not to be so flirtatious, and it angered me at the time. I had no idea what she was talking about.

As the years went on, however, my attitude toward relationships and sex caused more pain than pleasure. Breakups and disappointments became all too regular. Finally I came to the point where I knew a huge change was needed. But how could I? Who would I become? Would anyone like me anymore?

When in desperation I went to divine Love with these questions (finally), I got a surprise answer. This was the culmination of many months of prayer and study, not necessarily about sexuality, but about general spirituality. But I must have been experiencing transformation that I was unaware of, because when the moment came, I was receptive.

In that moment, I caught a glimpse of myself as wholly spiritual. I saw myself as reflecting qualities, not as a physical being. I saw myself as the emanation of pure goodness and light, not dragging through the muck of human existence anymore. In that moment, that’s all I wanted, and I knew that’s all I had ever been.

Did my attitude toward relationships change? You bet. Did people still like me? Mercifully, yes! But that didn’t matter so much as knowing how much God liked me.

The point today is, it’s not about giving up sin and then being stuck there, empty. It’s about filling up with something else and therefore having sin drop off naturally.

So that’s what I advised my friend. I told her to make it a priority to find out more about herself spiritually, and let that shape her habits and actions and associates.

I like this thought from Science and Health:

It is difficult for the sinner to accept divine Science, because Science exposes his nothingness; but the sooner error is reduced to its native nothingness, the sooner man's great reality will appear and his genuine being will be understood. The destruction of error is by no means the destruction of Truth or Life, but is the acknowledgment of them.

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Some Web finds for today

I get so much inspiration from all over, wanted to share some this morning.

• Thank heaven for evolved friends
  A great piece about learning to love others by seeing them as real people. From blogher.
  

• Early church
  What were the virtues of the early Christian church? How do we measure up today? From beliefnet.
  

• God gave us mountains so we could learn to climb
  An encouraging post from a teenaged spirituality blogger.
  

• Our Father-God provides
  Lovely simple message of inspiration.

Much love, have a great weekend!

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Belated birthday for the blog

Last Thursday was the two-year anniversary of this blog! Which I totally forgot, and it wasn't until friend and fellow blogger Kim sent me best wishes that I remembered.

What do I love about blogging? Sure, I get to get my thoughts out, and I have a place to share what I'm learning. But what I most love love love is having met so many fabulous people from around the world. Seriously, I've met people from Peru, Germany, India, the UK, Australia, the Philippines, Spain, Japan—all over, really. Check out my Frappr map to see some of my new friends. I should do an around-the-world trip just to visit everyone. (Put yourself on the map, too!)

And, I love the emails and phone calls from people who are searching and are interested in exploring Christian Science. Everyone I've talked to is so open to the ideas and respectful of my experience. I can't say that I've solved everyone's problems for them, but it is rewarding to give input that helps.

So, if you're a regular blog reader and want to give me a little "birthday present," I'd love to have you click back through the blog and send your favorite entries to ten people you know who might enjoy them. Because you know I'm always up for meeting new friends, especially friends of my current, wonderful friends.

Just use the envelope icon at the bottom of the entry you want to send to forward to a friend. If you can't find a particular entry that you remember fondly, shoot me an email and I'll find it for you. You can use my del.icio.us page to poke around as well. Other options for supporting the blog can be found here.

Thanks for making this blog one of the most rewarding things I've ever done. Here's to many more years to come!

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Q: How to handle rebukers (part 2)

Warning: This blog entry gets a little scrappy.

Interestingly, yesterday's question didn't release the firestorm of comments I thought it would. It almost seems like, at least for readers of my blog, the answer is obvious. You'd respond the same way you would whenever someone's rude to you—try to be gracious in return.

I happened to be on the phone with a friend of mine who reads my blog, and she said, "I just couldn't answer that question because it's such b.s." By this she meant there was no issue there for her at all—it was just obvious to her that what the person did was rude by any definition.

And I have to agree. That's my honest response as well. I don't care how experienced or professional a Christian Scientist you are, you do not have the license to rebuke others at will. It's simply a breach of good manners. I think if Mary Baker Eddy had ever caught her students rebuking each other indiscriminately, she'd have had a few immediate rebukes for them.

Many of us have had experiences like this. I remember once when I gave a testimony that for me was truly heartfelt in a church where I was new, a member came up to me afterward and said, "Your comments would have been more effective if you'd not said 'you know' so often while speaking." After a stunned moment, like yesterday's questioner, I just said, "Thank you for your input," and left it at that.

So now I'd just like to say to these self-appointed correcters: Cut it out. Love first. Get to know me before offering any input. If you're perceiving some error in me, overcome it in your own thinking and leave me out of it. If you haven't taken the time to find out where I am on my spiritual journey, you're probably not qualified to have an opinion.

I'll end with this from MBE:

Any exception to the old wholesome rule, "Mind your own business," is rare.

--Miscellaneous Writings p. 283

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Q: How to handle rebukers

Here's some grist for the blogging mill:

(from a blog reader, slightly edited)

This past Sunday I went to church and found myself sneezing, coughing and blowing my nose frequently during the service. I thought about getting up and leaving, but instead just prayed and tried to control my sinuses.

At the end of the service, an elderly lady came up to me and sternly rebuked the error that I had been experiencing. I believe she meant well, but I was taken aback by it.

I was at a loss as to how to respond to her. I said, “Thank you,” and then to myself said, “I think.”

My question is, what is the right way to respond when someone does something like this?

Ha! Thoughts? I have a few of my own, but would love to hear yours first!

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The spiritual opposite of narcissism

One of the biggest questions on my mind last week was how to recognize when a person is headed for the extreme actions committed at Virginia Tech. TIME Magazine gave me some insight in one article of their very tasteful coverage. (I usually wait for the news magazines to arrive before digging deeply into an issue—their slower-than-instant perspective often brings more insight and is less disturbing than being riveted by the TV or Internet.)

The article, Why They Kill, educated me on a state of mind known as "narcissism." As the article states, "[N]arcissism is a condition defined mostly by disablingly low self-esteem, requiring the sufferer to seek almost constant recognition and reward. When the world and the people in it don't respond as they should, narcissists are not just enraged but flat-out mystified." Narcissism can include a total lack of empathy as well, preventing the person from understanding the pain of others.

After reading this, I found myself pondering, what is the spiritual opposite of narcissism? If narcissism is being fixated on yourself to the exclusion of everyone else, what would its opposite be fixated on? If narcissism is thinking you're the center of the universe, what would the opposite central point be?

When I was a little girl (as my family will tell you), I had a definite narcissistic streak. I saw to it that family times revolved around me. I've mentioned before that I was a screamer—there was more to it than that! I was quite the little dickens.

It wasn't until junior high, when I began to sincerely yearn for some friends, that I started to explore gaining some of the social skills needed to acquire them, like listening to others or caring about them. I thought, for a time, that I was supposed to believe everyone else was more important than me in order to gain the love I was seeking. This was a human opposite of narcissism, which you might call an inferiority complex. Obviously, this was unbalanced, too.

It actually took me a long time to figure out what I now think of as a key spiritual point: I'm actually the child of God, with all the stature that heritage implies—and so is everyone else. I'm worthy and precious—and so is everyone else. I'm the pinnacle of God's creation—and so is everyone else. It's because God is so great, that He is capable of crafting each creation of His at the apex of His art. We are all equal in His eyes—and we're all amazing.

To me, that truth is the opposite of the lie of narcissism. People who are fooled into a narcissistic state of mind can break free of it by learning both their own stature as a creation of the Divine and the co-equal status of others.

I wish Cho had known this instead of having to suffer for years with the delusion. I hope and pray that he's finding it out now.

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Just be yourself

I have much in my heart still to say about this week’s events, but today am led to share a tiny conversation I had with God the other day.

It’s becoming clear to me that I’m at some sort of crossroads in my life. I could go in any number of different directions—there are many activities and pursuits that appeal to me. (Christian Science, of course, remains at the heart of it all.)

So I talked about it with God. I asked Him, What’s right to do? What would be wrong? What do You want me to do?

And I heard back, in the gentlest sigh of support, Laura, just be yourself.

I felt a cool wash of relief bathe over me at this. I can do that? I thought. That’s all right with You?

That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you, He replied. Just be yourself and all the rest will follow.

And it seems to me that much of my energy in the past has been spent trying to be good or successful or righteous, but I’ve never focused on just being myself. Now, I can feel a budding understanding of how effortless being myself will be, and therefore my energy can be spent on other things, such as helping others.

Just be yourself. As you understand how your selfhood reflects the Divine, what a blessing it becomes to embody it!

Some gentle whispers from Mary Baker Eddy:

Self-knowledge, humility, and love are divine strength.

--Miscellaneous Writings

He who gains self-knowledge, self-control, and the kingdom of heaven within himself, within his own consciousness, is saved through Christ, Truth.

--First Church of Christ, Scientist and Miscellany

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Teach me how to listen

The part of the story in Virginia that is hitting home the most to me is that troubled young man and how he simply had no tools to get beyond his demons. He was an extreme case, to be sure. Yet, one detail CNN uncovered touches me. He had an affinity for a song by Collective Soul called Shine—apparently he even wrote the words on his dorm wall.

Here are the lyrics:

Shine
Collective Soul

Give me a word
Give me a sign
Show me where to look
Tell what will I find ( will I find )

Lay me on the ground
Fly me in the sky
Show me where to look
Tell me what will I find ( will I find )

Oh, heaven let your light shine down (x4)

Love is in the water
Love is in the air
Show me where to go
Tell me will love be there ( love be there )

Teach me how to speak
Teach me how to share
Teach me where to go
Tell me will love be there ( love be there )

Oh, heaven let your light shine down (x4)

I'm going to let it shine (x2)

Heaven's little light gonna shine on me
Yea yea heaven's little light gonna shine on me
It's gonna shine, shine on me
It's gonna shine, come on in shine

One of his teachers said in another report that it made sense that he was an English major because speaking was difficult for him. Writing was the only way he could communicate, if you could call it that.

My heart, strangely, goes out to him as I hear these details. In small ways throughout my life, I’ve known the frustration of not being heard, of being marginalized, of being passed over. In my case I had the tools and the friendships to help me through those times. In his case, apparently, he had nothing, or at least nothing he could accept.

It’s making me yearn again to help others find their voices. To help them articulate and express the uniqueness that is entirely theirs. To help them fill their role in creation as a beam of light, rather than feeling trapped in the darkness of the disenfranchised.

I need to listen more. If anyone wants to talk, I’m here.

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More comfort in a crisis

Other people are writing some excellent blogs about VT, so I thought I’d post them today. My thoughts are still gelling.

• Travis, Inc.: What can I do?

• Practical Spirituality: Impenetrable innocence

• J-Walking: Unspeakable

And yesterday, Sandra posted in the comments the Prayer of St. Francis, always worth another look:

Let me be an instrument of Thy Peace.
Where there is hatred let me sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is sadness, joy;
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
To be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

Much love everyone, keep thinking.

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So saddened

As we all are, I’m so saddened by the news out of Virginia yesterday. My good friend Chris Raymond wrote about it on her new blog:

Sending prayers to Virginia Tech

I’d love to know how everyone’s thinking about this… what inspiration is comforting you? If you blogged about it, send me the link and I’ll post it as well. Or, put it right in the comments.

As for me, the thought that came is this passage from Mary Baker Eddy:

Remember, thou canst be brought into no condition, be it ever so severe, where Love has not been before thee and where its tender lesson is not awaiting thee.

Those kids and families are wrapped up in that Love, right now and always.

Many hugs today.

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Pray for the runners

Today my heart is with the folks running the Boston Marathon. The race starts very close to my home and runs straight east toward the finish in Boston.

I awoke this morning to gusty wind from the east, lashing rain, overcast skies and chilly temperatures. It’s expected to be like this all day. There’s no talk of canceling the race of course—the first line up, for the wheelchair division, starts in less than three hours. The Marathon Website has dire warnings about hypothermia.

So I’m asking everyone this morning to join me in embracing these athletes. Maybe our prayerful support can protect the runners from harm or can encourage the weather to lighten up.

Here’s some passages that are helping me:

The Bible

Joel 2

1 Blow ye the trumpet in Zion, and sound an alarm in my holy mountain: let all the inhabitants of the land tremble: for the day of the Lord cometh, for it is nigh at hand;
2 A day of darkness and of gloominess, a day of clouds and of thick darkness, as the morning spread upon the mountains: a great people and a strong; there hath not been ever the like, neither shall be any more after it, even to the years of many generations.
3 A fire devoureth before them; and behind them a flame burneth: the land is as the garden of Eden before them, and behind them a desolate wilderness; yea, and nothing shall escape them.
4 The appearance of them is as the appearance of horses; and as horsemen, so shall they run.
5 Like the noise of chariots on the tops of mountains shall they leap, like the noise of a flame of fire that devoureth the stubble, as a strong people set in battle array.
6 Before their face the people shall be much pained: all faces shall gather blackness.
7 They shall run like mighty men; they shall climb the wall like men of war; and they shall march every one on his ways, and they shall not break their ranks:
8 Neither shall one thrust another; they shall walk every one in his path: and when they fall upon the sword, they shall not be wounded.
9 They shall run to and fro in the city; they shall run upon the wall, they shall climb up upon the houses; they shall enter in at the windows like a thief.
10 The earth shall quake before them; the heavens shall tremble: the sun and the moon shall be dark, and the stars shall withdraw their shining:
11 And the Lord shall utter his voice before his army: for his camp is very great: for he is strong that executeth his word: for the day of the Lord is great and very terrible; and who can abide it?

Isaiah 40

28 ¶ Hast thou not known? hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary? there is no searching of his understanding.
29 He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength.
30 Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall:
31 But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

Galatians 5

7 Ye did run well; who did hinder you that ye should not obey the truth?

Science and Health

The Scriptures say, "They that wait upon the Lord . . . shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint." The meaning of that passage is not perverted by applying it literally to moments of fatigue, for the moral and physical are as one in their results. When we wake to the truth of being, all disease, pain, weakness, weariness, sorrow, sin, death, will be unknown, and the mortal dream will forever cease. --p. 218

St. Paul wrote, "Let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us;" that is, let us put aside material self and sense, and seek the divine Principle and Science of all healing. --p. 20

The divine demand, "Be ye therefore perfect," is scientific, and the human footsteps leading to perfection are indispensable. Individuals are consistent who, watching and praying, can "run, and not be weary; . . . walk, and not faint," who gain good rapidly and hold their position, or attain slowly and yield not to discouragement. --p. 253

Mind, joyous in strength, dwells in the realm of Mind. Mind's infinite ideas run and disport themselves. In humility they climb the heights of holiness. --p. 514

If you’re interested in how the race is going, visit the Boston Marathon site.

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Reza Aslan at Wellesley: institutions vs. individualism

Had the amazing privilege of seeing Reza Aslan speak last night at Wellesley College. You’ll remember him from my blogs about No god but God, a book I recommend everyone drop everything and read if you want to gain a deeper understanding of Islam and its place in the world today.

The talk was riveting—he’s an energetic, witty and articulate speaker as well as writer. Since he was at Wellesley, a women’s college, he did emphasize the emerging role of women in Islam, itself a fascinating subject. Apparently there’s a new translation of the Quran by female scholar Laleh Bakhtiar coming out in a few months, I’ll be looking for that!

Other points Aslan made in his talk:

• He’s often referred to this period in Islamic history as the Islamic Reformation, so he clarified what “reformation” means. Reformation is a universal phenomena. It takes place in all faith traditions. At heart it is a fundamental conflict of who gets to define a faith—institutions or individuals?
• In Islam, there are competing institutions and an evolving radical individualism. Reform is an attempt to stop awry institutional interpretations and accumulated opinions and go back to the original foundational texts. Individuals begin to say, We don’t need institutions to interpret anymore.
• The Internet has served a similar role to the printing press in this Reformation. Individual Muslims have access to wide opinions about Islam who never did before, especially women. It used to be your local imam was the only place you could go for interpretation, and you either agreed or disagreed with him. Now, online, you can find site after site with opinions, and you can find the ones you like.
• Aslan spoke in particular about what it is to be Muslim in America, and the special responsibility of those who have figured out how to be Muslim in a pluralistic society to speak out on behalf of those around the world who have no voices.
• He quoted someone as saying, “In America, everyone is more or less Protestant” meaning the Protestant ethic pervades everything, even non-Christian religions. [My thoughts: interesting. It’s part of our ethic to be individualistic rather than institutional in our attitudes, if you look at it that way. Hence, the success of our experiment with pluralism.]

I’m left with the conviction that individualism trumps institutionalization every time. History has shown again and again that as soon as you institutionalize a belief system, it loses its original inspiration. People become compelled to obey through law or coercion, rather than through free adoption of the ideas. And without free thought, inspiration cannot exist.

Which I suppose is as good an explanation as any as to why I blog!

Please check out Alsan’s book when you get a chance.

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Reformation cancels the crime

If the evil is over in the repentant mortal mind, while its effects still remain on the individual, you can remove this disorder as God's law is fulfilled and reformation cancels the crime. --Science and Health

This passage, in the Bible Lesson this week, is absolutely one of my favorite concepts in Christian Science. It exudes kindness and patience and forgiveness. It’s also straight math, completely reliable.

This worked in my life at a time when I’d made a pretty egregious mistake. I’d broken one of the Commandments and faced the prospect of many years of having to deal with the effects of my actions.

At first, I was scared to take this infraction to God. I was sure the bolt of lightning would come, and I’d fry. But when I realized I wasn’t strong enough to bear the weight of the consequences on my own, I knew I needed help from above. So I sucked it up and asked.

God’s response was clear—unconditional Love. There was nothing else. No anger, no withholding of good, no unsupportive judgment. Just Love.

It was then I realized the truth of the passage above. For I knew, in my heart of hearts, that I would never again do that which had gotten me into the situation in the first place. I had learned from my mistake—that particular sin no longer held any attraction to me. I had a change of heart so profound that my character was transformed.

Now, I couldn’t have made a case for myself with any human being—after all, I’d been committing that sin for a number of years and the immediate example was quite recent. Who would believe that I’d now forsaken it? But God knew.

I had the blessed feeling that my divine Father-Mother *could* read the sincerity of my heart, and knew that the change was real. I didn’t need to convince anyone else. I didn’t need to fear any longer. God would be at my side while I did what I had to do humanly to make the situation right.

I still had to take human action and to work hard to balance everything, for many years. But as the passage says, the “effects” of the evil were no longer there. I was free from it mentally, and so truly free on a spiritual level. I didn’t continue to feel any punishment, even while I had to work hard. It’s hard to explain. Reformation canceled the crime—I no longer felt guilty, which made me much freer in what I had to do next. It was like I was making up for the mistake of someone else, someone I loved dearly and was willing to help, rather than it being my own mistake anymore.

I saw this psalm the other day, and could see that the Psalmist had a similar experience.

Psalm 32

1 Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered.
2 Blessed is the man unto whom the Lord imputeth not iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no guile.
3 When I kept silence, my bones waxed old through my roaring all the day long.
4 For day and night thy hand was heavy upon me: my moisture is turned into the drought of summer. Selah.
5 I acknowledged my sin unto thee, and mine iniquity have I not hid. I said, I will confess my transgressions unto the Lord; and thou forgavest the iniquity of my sin. Selah.
6 For this shall every one that is godly pray unto thee in a time when thou mayest be found: surely in the floods of great waters they shall not come nigh unto him.
7 Thou art my hiding place; thou shalt preserve me from trouble; thou shalt compass me about with songs of deliverance. Selah.
8 I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye.
9 Be ye not as the horse, or as the mule, which have no understanding: whose mouth must be held in with bit and bridle, lest they come near unto thee.
10 Many sorrows shall be to the wicked: but he that trusteth in the Lord, mercy shall compass him about.
11 Be glad in the Lord, and rejoice, ye righteous: and shout for joy, all ye that are upright in heart.

Spiritual freedom from sin makes it possible to then clear things up humanly. Thank God.

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Q: Mortals vs. Man—dynamic not static

This came in from Heather:

I'm not sure how to ask this, because it's not really in the form of a question. Many of MBE's detractors commented on how she said that man in God's image and likeness was not a sinner, and then they pulled out a bunch of Bible quotes "proving" her wrong about how man is a wretched sinner. The thing is, in reading the Science and Health -- aside from it being obvious the detractors missed the point -- she refers to two different 'concepts' of people, in a way. Mortals/Sinners and Man. There's a comment, and I'm paraphrasing, about how Jesus saw in Science the perfect man where sinning mortals appeared to mortals. That concept really comes across in Romans, when Paul is referring to once being slaves to sin, and his unspiritual nature verses the new man. And how when he starts doing what he doesn't want to do, it's no longer him doing that, but the sin 'lodged' inside him. I was wondering if you could comment on the two, in terms of the two and replacing one with the other, and how each comes across in the Bible.

Any thoughts/clarifications you have would be really helpful. Thanks!

You know, this is probably why Mary Baker Eddy included “Mortals and Immortals” as one of her Bible Lesson topics, to be studied twice a year. It is important to get this straight, although my concept of how I can exist as an immortal consciousness while experiencing this mortal seeming is constantly evolving.

Check this out from MBE’s Unity of Good:

Human beings are physically mortal, but spiritually immortal. The evil accompanying physical personality is illusive and mortal; but the good attendant upon spiritual individuality is immortal. Existing here and now, this unseen individuality is real and eternal. The so-called material senses, and the mortal mind which is misnamed man, take no cognizance of spiritual individuality, which manifests immortality, whose Principle is God. --Unity of Good

Looking at that first sentence, there appears to be a dichotomy—human beings appear to be both at the same time. What has helped me in coming to peace with this is the insight that the relationship between the two is dynamic, not static. We may be perceiving a dichotomy, but we’re not stuck in it. The apparent mortal side of the picture is being inexorably subsumed by the immortal because we’re constantly growing spiritually. We’re not standing still.

I published this little illustration way back in October 2005:

It’s an attempt to illustrate this sentence from Science and Health: “Understanding is the line of demarcation between the real and unreal.” Note how it’s moving—as spiritual understanding increases, so does the perception of reality.

You know how when you learn something, it’s like you always knew it? Take driving, for instance. We all had to learn to drive. At first, even negotiating a right turn took complete concentration and was fraught with unknowns. You drive for a while, though, and that right turn becomes the simplest thing in the world.

Which is the “immortal” concept of your ability to make a right turn? The one where you have mastery. The learning process was temporary, mortal. The mastery has become second nature.

Okay, it’s an analogy. But it’s how I feel about spiritual growth. Once you learn the new spiritual idea, you have unveiled more of your immortal identity and the mortal seeming has yielded. That’s what we experience in the here and now. When our growth eclipses mortality altogether, and spiritual reality becomes more to us than its opposite, this mortal seeming itself will feel like just another thing we outgrew and left behind.

I see myself as on a journey of discovery, and I’m never standing still. Every moment I’m making progress along that path. I may feel like a mixed bag sometimes, but the mixture is lessening all the time.

The mortal/immortal dichotomy is important to understand, but also to discount. The truth is that each and every one of us is 100% immortal.

Thoughts? I haven't really covered the aspect of Heather's question that pertains to the Bible, so if anyone wants to weigh in on that, please do so!

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Beauty and blessing

Two movies today!

First, John sent me the May You Be Blessed movie yesterday, it was just what I needed. When you have a quiet five minutes, I hope you’ll enjoy it.

Next is a controversial ad from Dove.

This ad, as you may have heard, has been banned in several cities, including my nearby metropolis, Boston. I cannot figure that one out. The ad, from a skin care company, celebrates beautiful women of a certain age, making the point that “anti-aging” is not the point. They’re calling their new line of products “pro∙age.”

And, is it just me, or do all these women look fantastic?

As I experience the time of my life known as the mid-forties, I genuinely think I look better than I ever have. My smile is more knowing, my eyes are more expressive, my stature more established, my carriage more confident. The five to ten pounds I’d like to lose don’t inhibit that feeling of beauty and joy at all. I expect this feeling only to grow as the years proceed, not diminish, because it has up until now. Am I nuts?

One of my favorite things to do when I find myself sitting in a public place waiting for someone is it watch faces. Especially older female faces. I love the curves and creases and bones and folds. I see a whole life there in those faces, the wisdom and joys and triumphs. These faces radiate to me stories that are precious in their uniqueness yet tell of a universal strength that is womanhood.

Certainly there are so-called effects of aging that we should combat heartily. No slowing down, no exhaustion, no deterioration. These things are as unnecessary as a fish with a bicycle (with apologies to Gloria Steinem).

But the signs of growth in wisdom and grace don’t trouble me. I’ll take years of laughter over a wrinkle-free face any day. I’ll take triumphing through adversity over hair with no silver (although I may color a lock or two!). I’ll take a lifetime of basking in the sun over skin that has never been colored by its rays.

I ask again, am I nuts?

Celebrate your beauty today.

Some beauty tips from Science and Health:

The measurement of life by solar years robs youth and gives ugliness to age. The radiant sun of virtue and truth coexists with being. Manhood is its eternal noon, undimmed by a declining sun. As the physical and material, the transient sense of beauty fades, the radiance of Spirit should dawn upon the enraptured sense with bright and imperishable glories. p. 246

Man, governed by immortal Mind, is always beautiful and grand. Each succeeding year unfolds wisdom, beauty, and holiness. p. 246

Beauty is a thing of life, which dwells forever in the eternal Mind and reflects the charms of His goodness in expression, form, outline, and color. It is Love which paints the petal with myriad hues, glances in the warm sunbeam, arches the cloud with the bow of beauty, blazons the night with starry gems, and covers earth with loveliness. p. 247

Love, redolent with unselfishness, bathes all in beauty and light. p. 516

The beautiful in character is also the good, welding indissolubly the links of affection. p. 60

One marvels that a friend can ever seem less than beautiful. p. 248

Man is God's reflection, needing no cultivation, but ever beautiful and complete. p. 527

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By the wayside...

Veronika sent me this prayer she wrote over the weekend. It just touched my heart, so I wanted to share it! (Please keep those questions and comments coming!)

BY THE WAYSIDE

Isn’t God so very close?
He shows Himself by the wayside
Through every humble flower—
He expresses Himself
Through every touch of a loving hand—
He glows in the sunrise and sunset—
He is in the neighbour’s smile—
And most of all in YOU.
AMEN

May you feel the closeness of the Divine today.

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What was it like to be Jesus?

Have you ever wondered what life was like for Jesus? What did he actually see or experience as he walked through the world? When he woke up, what did he perceive? When he rested at the end of the day, what occupied his thoughts?

Check out these passages, which to me give a glimmer of insight into Jesus’ world:

With Christ, Life was not merely a sense of existence, but a sense of might and ability to subdue material conditions. No wonder "people were astonished at his doctrine; for he taught them as one having authority, and not as the scribes." --Unity of Good

When speaking of God's children, not the children of men, Jesus said, "The kingdom of God is within you;" that is, Truth and Love reign in the real man, showing that man in God's image is unfallen and eternal. Jesus beheld in Science the perfect man, who appeared to him where sinning mortal man appears to mortals. In this perfect man the Saviour saw God's own likeness, and this correct view of man healed the sick. --Science and Health

Imagine you’re Jesus. You’re endowed with the Christ without measure. You have a constant conduit of communion with the Divine, and even in the day-to-day moments you never feel cut off.

You see someone standing before you, but instead of seeing a physical being, you see what no one else is seeing. You see the kingdom of God right within them. You see the perfect reflection of the Divine. You see life, not as mere existence or a series of physical obstacles to overcome, but as Life, as spiritual dominion over all materiality. This is literal to you, not theoretical or imaginary. It is what you’re perceiving every moment.

Astonishing things start coming out of your mouth. You’re not talking about some future time or place—you are reporting what you are actually seeing now. “The kingdom of God is within you.” What? the people say, because they don’t see it. But you do.

As you walk through that tiny desert land in an obscure corner of the world, it doesn’t matter where you are or who you’re talking to. You are sharing Truth, reality, and it will spread because it’s that powerful. You give the vision freely, realizing that very few will understand it at the get-go but all have it within them so it’s inevitable that it will overcome all materiality eventually.

The one episode in your life when you feel cut off, when mortality takes its revenge on its destroyer, is when you see that in order to make your point more fully, you need to show in a startling and explicit way that Life is eternal. So you step into the mortal coil, allowing yourself for a time to experience what everyone else is experiencing—the suffering and agony and death of feeling trapped in these human shells. The agony is overwhelming, but temporary. You rise again.

You rise again. Again you tell what you see every moment—“Lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world.” You leave us bodily, yet Christ has never left.

That Christ consciousness is possible for each of us. We, too, can walk through the world seeing and feeling as Jesus did. He gave us that gift, and it’s ours whenever we want it. Enjoy that new view. Your Savior showed you right where it is—within you.

Happy Easter.

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The divine calm

Taking a break from questions to share some inspiration from yesterday.

I’m reading Psalms again, straight through, one per day, like I did last year. Yesterday’s was Psalm 29, which has these verses:

The voice of the Lord is upon the waters: the God of glory thundereth: the Lord is upon many waters.

The Lord sitteth upon the flood; yea, the Lord sitteth King for ever.

--Psalm 29

I’ve written before about visions I’ve had. (Here’s one.) In these visions, I’m often thrown into water or submerged in water or treading water. Water has come to symbolize fear to me in these little mini-stories that pack strong spiritual messages. By the end, I’ve always overcome the risks of being overwhelmed by the water and am in a safe place.

So I read these passages from Psalm 29 with new eyes yesterday. “The Lord sitteth upon the flood.” I loved that. He’s sitting on the flood of my fear. When I was a kid, that was a prime insult to throw around—“Sit on it!” (Does anyone else remember that?) When you sit on something, you keep it from moving, you immobilize it. Divine Love makes fear powerless. A powerless flood is no flood at all.

The image of “the voice of the Lord” sweeping over the waters, thundering over the confusion and calming it, is also very comforting to me today. God’s voice is like a perfect harmonic that works on chaotic upheaval to organize and smooth it. It resonates and brings everything into harmony with it. It is music that transforms the jagged and tempestuous into the calm, glasslike surface of peace.

One of my first postings almost two years ago was the Litany against Fear from Dune. Fear can come like a wave and make us feel we’re drowning in it. But God is there, on the surface, calming and sustaining. We can take a deep breath of that calm and get through it.

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Q: How to handle well-wishers when you’re ill

[Note: I’m changing format on the titles of these, because “question” was taking up too much space.]

This from an inquirer (slightly edited):

How can I express my experience without reinforcing error? I’ve been suffering [with some symptoms] this past week, and sometimes people who know I’ve been having trouble will ask how I’m doing.

The (human) truth is I feel lousy, and haven’t been able to get relief (yet). The capital-T Truth is I’m doing great and have never suffered and I am perfectly well.

I feel uncomfortable saying either of these! The first, because I don’t want to strengthen the error, and the second because it’s not my experience (yet).

How can I be both authentic and spiritually minded? How do you handle this?

As always, would be great to have the responses of blog readers!

I have a few things to say about situations like this.

First of all, Christian Science doesn’t accept any belief in voodoo. Sometimes I’ve felt that the hesitation to talk about what we’re experiencing comes from a fear that by talking about it, we’ll increase the power of the “evil spell,” or something. But the more I’ve come to understand that we can’t strengthen something that had zero power to begin with, the more relaxed I’ve become on this issue.

Second, the dear people who care enough to inquire how we’re doing are expressing Love, which is just as important as Truth in healing. And, I’ll take all the Love I can get when working through something. In fact, I’ve often leaned on and gained strength from those expressions of Love. When someone shows their concern, I turn instantly away from thinking it’s making a reality of the situation to an uplifted recognition of the Love being expressed. And I thank them, wholeheartedly, for their support. Once that’s acknowledged, I can then perhaps explain that I’m fine, or things are getting better, or whatever other words might ease their concern. What’s important is the support being expressed, and accepting that support.

Third, there are practical issues associated with not feeling 100%. Sometimes we have to ask others to cover for us in our obligations, or they have to know we’re not entirely focused on a shared project. I think it’s important to be honest while being Truthful, if you know what I mean. Needing time for “rest” (when we mean focused prayerful study and treatment) makes sense to others and they will support it.

This isn’t to say I advocate the tell-all policy that many adopt when facing a physical crisis—long descriptions of suffering or medical procedures or comparing notes. This is not always helpful and can solidify the error in thought, although it does provide a form of support.

But I don’t believe normal humanitarian concern falls in the “harmful” category. From a public relations standpoint with regards to helping people see that the practice of Christian Science is rational and normal, I’d recommend being as normal as possible when hearing from well-wishers. Accept the love and support, and use it as a springboard to increase your confidence in ultimate healing.

Thoughts? Love you guys! Be sure to go back to prior questions this week, too, and check out the amazing comments. Great stuff.

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Question: Hearing God’s voice

This came in from BigRaff:

Here is a question for your blog. How do you hear God speaking? Scripture speaks of the small still voice. It might make for an interesting discussion to hear how different people hear from God.

Fun question! I’d love it if people would post their stories of how they’ve heard God.

For me, this has taken several forms. There are definite, distinct times when I’ve felt the Divine leading me specifically. By this, I don’t mean that there’s a supernatural being taking a detailed interest in my human life and telling me what to do. What I think happens is, for whatever reason, either desperation or extremity or inspiration, in those moments I have been particularly receptive to the flow of harmony that is constantly in action whether I know it or not. At those times, what feels like a direct message but is really an eternal divine idea breaks through the material picture, and I’m pushed in a better direction.

The message will be specific to the circumstance because that is what I can conceptualize at that time. What I’ve learned to recognize is the feeling it brings. Sometimes it’s like a deep breath of crisp spring air, energizing and relaxing me. Other times, it’s an increase in gentle tension that requires me to act before I can feel comfortable again. Another version feels like a hand on the small of my back, pushing me forward, into a new activity or situation that I may have been trying to avoid. Many of us have heard the distinct warnings that come from Spirit, keeping us safe from harm. Of course, there’s also those moments where it’s just all Love, infinite Love, pouring out on us all its blessings.

An example: I’m naturally very outspoken—Laura run amok will dominate conversations if you let her. Years ago, though, I realized I was running over people when I talked too much, so I tried to tone it down. I learned to listen more deeply and to think more carefully before I spoke to avoid starting an argument. However, this tendency can backfire, making me too reticent at times. For one reason or the other, I’ll feel I should keep quiet when there’s an important conversation going on.

But the Divine often has other plans. An idea will pop into my head, and it will sit there, waving at me. I’ll ignore it because I’m afraid if I voice it, it will just upset people. But then I get this growing feeling of nervousness, like I’m balancing on the top of a fence. Eventually I simply have to voice the idea. Invariably it turns out to have been an important contribution, even if it’s not always pleasant or what the other people want to hear.

I recognize that feeling now, and have come to trust it. I always obey it. And that, to me, is the final piece of the “hearing God’s voice” transaction. We can cultivate the ability to hear it all we want, but unless we then follow the leading it won't get us where we need to go. Whatever God’s voice means to us, it’s important to snap to attention and obey.

Some thoughts from Mary Baker Eddy:

The effects of Christian Science are not so much seen as felt. It is the "still, small voice" of Truth uttering itself. We are either turning away from this utterance, or we are listening to it and going up higher. Willingness to become as a little child and to leave the old for the new, renders thought receptive of the advanced idea. Gladness to leave the false landmarks and joy to see them disappear, — this disposition helps to precipitate the ultimate harmony. The purification of sense and self is a proof of progress. "Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God." --Science and Health

The infinite Truth of the Christ-cure has come to this age through a "still, small voice," through silent utterances and divine anointing which quicken and increase the beneficial effects of Christianity. I long to see the consummation of my hope, namely, the student's higher attainments in this line of light. --Science and Health

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Question: Practitioner and patient roles

Thanks for the nice response I got to the "Submit a Question" feature on Friday—keep 'em coming! I think what I’ll do is bring them to the blog, titling as above with "Question:" at the beginning. And, they'll all be tagged "Conversations" at the bottom. So, let’s get started.

This question came in from John:

In healing work, what is the role of the practitioner and what is the role of the patient?

I would LOVE to hear from others on this question, both practitioners and patients. Here’s my initial take, but everyone’s experience would be helpful to hear about. Please answer in the comments.

I find the answer to that question depends on who has the transformation of thought that leads to healing. In some cases, the practitioner has the transformation of thought. In others, the practitioner provides the mental assist and encouragement for the patient to have the transformation of thought.

When the practitioner’s transformation of thought effects the healing, and for me this has generally happened with children, animals, people brand new to the ideas, and those who need to feel the simplicity of God’s love in a new way, I feel this is divine Love’s way of using a healing experience to open the patient’s thought to a deeper understanding of Him. I’ve had many healings like this myself, especially in my younger days, where the practitioner I called opened the way for me to experience God’s goodness without my especially having to work for it. Even in those cases, though, I gained an increased confidence in God’s presence and power, and this paved the way for spiritual growth later.

There came a point, however, when my own spiritual maturity led to my needing to take the ball more myself, so to speak. It was time for me to learn new spiritual lessons that would give me dominion, rather than always having to rely on someone else’s support to get there. My relationship with practitioners through that period shifted remarkably. They took on more of a coaching role. While they still treated me, I became more aware of the importance of my own treatments for myself.

Now, my first question when faced with something personally is, what do I need to do so I can experience the transformation? I know each eventuality contains a spiritual lesson I need to learn. Calling a practitioner doesn’t let me off the hook. I will need to do the spiritual spade work, because that’s where I am on the learning curve. There are definitely still times when what I’m experiencing is so extreme that I reach for the phone, yet that never is all I need to do. I’m part of a healing team, and I need to play my position.

Please give your thoughts and experiences in the comments as well!

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