What’s the opposite of "dog"?

I’m really getting into this opposites thing this week.

Spelling wags will say the opposite of d-o-g is G-o-d, haha. But really, don’t a lot of us have the knee-jerk reaction that the opposite of dog is cat? Yet this is way off, since that’s more a pairing than an opposite. Dogs and cats share many more qualities than not.

In the same way, man and woman are not opposites. The words are a verbal pairing, an expression of the totality of qualities. Male and female are not opposites. Masculine and feminine are not opposites. They have a lot more in common that not.

I’m chewing this over because it’s new to me. It’s like I’m having to retrain my thinking to grok this idea.

What I like about pairings as opposed to opposites is that in a pairing, you don’t have to choose one. Contrary to popular belief, you can actually like both dogs and cats.

But when it comes to opposites, you do have to choose one. True opposites require that one be real, and the other unreal. You should be able to make two columns, labeled “real” and “unreal” and put the opposites in their respective lists. And, once you put “good” in the “real” column, there are a lot of things that become clearly unreal.

If sin, sickness, and death were understood as nothingness, they would disappear. As vapor melts before the sun, so evil would vanish before the reality of good. One must hide the other. How important, then, to choose good as the reality! --Science and Health

Too many times in human history, though, we’ve made the mistake of putting pairings into those two columns. Black/white. Male/female. Gay/straight. Young/old. Fat/thin. By doing so, we do a disservice to both. Health/sickness works in the columns, but fat/thin doesn’t.

What this is clarifying for me is that good has a much wider range than I perhaps thought. My yard is manicured, my neighbor’s is wild. Neither is bad, but each expresses different aspects of “yard.” I need all the expressions to get the full picture.

So what I’m trying to do going forward is to embrace the different aspects of whatever pairing comes my way, rather than knee-jerk think of them as opposites. And to be clear that when I am confronted with a true opposite, I have the spiritual authority to declare the evil one unreal. With pairings, you don’t have to pick one—you can love them both. With opposites, only one is real, so the other has to go.

Those of you who have both cats and dogs understand this already.

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What gender are you?

This question popped into my mind yesterday while reading. In case you may be wondering, I’ve hit one of my favorite chapters in Science and Health in my two-pages-a-day read-through—Genesis.

Here’s the provocative passage from yesterday:

Genesis i. 12. And the earth brought forth grass, and herb yielding seed after his kind, and the tree yielding fruit, whose seed was in itself, after his kind: and God saw that it was good.

God determines the gender of His own ideas. Gender is mental, not material. The seed within itself is the pure thought emanating from divine Mind. The feminine gender is not yet expressed in the text. Gender means simply kind or sort, and does not necessarily refer either to masculinity or femininity. The word is not confined to sexuality, and grammars always recognize a neuter gender, neither male nor female. The Mind or intelligence of production names the female gender last in the ascending order of creation. The intelligent individual idea, be it male or female, rising from the lesser to the greater, unfolds the infinitude of Love.

(Interesting that Mary Baker Eddy is bringing this up in relation to plants.)

“Gender is mental, not material.” That phrase popped out at me, and made me ask the question, Well, what gender am I then? If it’s not based on my physical attributes, what is it?

It’s gnarly for me, since even though I’m very definitely a girl in many respects, I do have a streak of macho. When I was a kid, I always insisted on being Robin when we played Robin Hood (the Disney movie was big then). I wanted the bow and arrow, I wanted the sword. I had no patience for the pretty princess who stood to one side and squealed. Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella—I just didn’t see the point. And I won’t even begin to tell you what I did with my sister’s Barbies.

As an adult I’ve had to straddle both worlds trying to be both mother and father to my kids. Not sure how successful I’ve been, but having to wire the thermostat and change a spark plug went hand in hand with laundry and cooking. I remember my first “handyman” job and how proud I was that I could do it. Since then, nothing around the house intimidates me.

So how do we know what gender we are? And do we really have to pick one? In my life, it’s seemed I’m one minute feminine and the next masculine. I can be called upon to do either at a moment’s notice.

Maybe the point is not being limited by a particular definition of masculine or feminine. Maybe the mental nature of gender comes in when we can see that there’s nothing we can’t do. Physically I may be squarely a woman, but mentally I can be both, or rather, both becomes one.

And maybe that’s what Eddy is getting at. There’s really only one gender. Not neutered, impotent, or ineffective, but whole, encompassing all qualities, strengths and attributes. We don’t take away gender as we grow spiritually, we embrace all aspects of it. I’m not genderless—I’m genderful.

Being is one. There aren’t two, constantly at odds. As an extension of what I wrote yesterday, there are no opposites. I am one, one with all the qualities of being that God has created.

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The lie of opposites

One of the clearest lessons I remember from my Christian Science class instruction days is the segment about the lie of opposites.

Basically, it’s the teaching that if you have one thing that fills all space and is eternal, you can’t have its opposite taking up any space or having any reality. There’s no yin/yang in Christian Science. Only the positive energy of Spirit has reality. It’s opposite, materiality, is transitory and ultimately unreal.

So when I come to this sentence in Science and Health, I’m struck again by the sheer logic of Mary Baker Eddy’s discovery:

God creates neither erring thought, mortal life, mutable truth, nor variable love.

I love that. Each one of these things is an oxymoron.

• There is no mortal life. Ha! Yay! Take that, death.
• There is no mutable, or changeable, truth. If it’s true, it’s always true.
• Real love does not vary, either in object or degree.
• And genuine thought created by God, a.k.a. idea, can make no mistake.

I’m dwelling with these concepts today.

Here are some more related passages:

Truth is immortal; error is mortal. Truth is limitless; error is limited. Truth is intelligent; error is non-intelligent. Moreover, Truth is real, and error is unreal. This last statement contains the point you will most reluctantly admit, although first and last it is the most important to understand. --p. 466

The temporal and unreal never touch the eternal and real. The mutable and imperfect never touch the immutable and perfect. The inharmonious and self-destructive never touch the harmonious and self-existent. These opposite qualities are the tares and wheat, which never really mingle, though (to mortal sight) they grow side by side until the harvest; then, Science separates the wheat from the tares, through the realization of God as ever present and of man as reflecting the divine likeness. --p. 300

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One long day

I’m a writer—I live by wordcount. So I was fascinated to read on CNN about the most popular nouns in the English language.

Here they are, according to an Oxford project:

time, person, year, way, day, thing, man, world, life, hand, part, child, eye, woman, place, work, week, case, point, government, company, number, group, problem, fact.

If you want to explore where these words are in the overall ranking of words used, check out Wordcount, a great online project by The Washington Post. Here, time is 66, and the next noun person is 351. But man (142) and woman (393) are in a different placement than the Oxford list. But I guess they’re in close enough agreement since the total list is 86,800. (No. 86,800 is conquistador, in case you were wondering.)

Interestingly, I is 11, and you is 14. Heck, I could play around with this all day.

It seems, according to the Oxford study, that when something happens is very important to us. After verbs like is and did, and pronouns like they and she, it’s concepts of time that make up a lot of our communication. Here’s that list with the time words highlighted:

time, person, year, way, day, thing, man, world, life, hand, part, child, eye, woman, place, work, week, case, point, government, company, number, group, problem, fact.

Why is time so important to us? Can it be that it’s the one thing we so take for granted that it gives some sense of order to this human existence? Time marches on, it never stops, it’s unidirectional, moving inexorably forward whether we want it to or not.

I love that the first three “time” words in the list have spiritual definitions in Science and Health. I also love that these definitions, if read in order of the list, take us ever more Spiritward.

TIME. Mortal measurements; limits, in which are summed up all human acts, thoughts, beliefs, opinions, knowledge; matter; error; that which begins before, and continues after, what is termed death, until the mortal disappears and spiritual perfection appears.

--p. 595

YEAR. A solar measurement of time; mortality; space for repentance.

"One day is with the Lord as a thousand years." (II Peter iii. 8.)

One moment of divine consciousness, or the spiritual understanding of Life and Love, is a foretaste of eternity. This exalted view, obtained and retained when the Science of being is understood, would bridge over with life discerned spiritually the interval of death, and man would be in the full consciousness of his immortality and eternal harmony, where sin, sickness, and death are unknown. Time is a mortal thought, the divisor of which is the solar year. Eternity is God's measurement of Soul-filled years.

--p. 598

DAY. The irradiance of Life; light, the spiritual idea of Truth and Love.

"And the evening and the morning were the first day." (Genesis i. 5.) The objects of time and sense disappear in the illumination of spiritual understanding, and Mind measures time according to the good that is unfolded. This unfolding is God's day, and "there shall be no night there."

--p. 584

Perhaps we need time to organize our lives and to make sense of this existence. But existence that is simply one long day—what will that be like?

And how will we talk about it?

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The value of weeping

On Saturday night, I had a group of women friends over. They didn’t know each other, but I knew they were all extraordinary and deep, and had much to share with one another. The conversation lasted over three hours. We laughed, we wept, we revealed, we healed.

I see a value in tears. The Bible speaks about them often, so here’s a little focused study on tears and their spiritual significance.

Thus saith the Lord, the God of David thy father, I have heard thy prayer, I have seen thy tears: behold, I will heal thee: --IIKings 20

Tears open your heart to healing. When we are at the end of our own resources, tears are how we admit that. They’re like the storm, after which is peace.

I am weary with my groaning; all the night make I my bed to swim; I water my couch with my tears. Mine eye is consumed because of grief; it waxeth old because of all mine enemies. Depart from me, all ye workers of iniquity; for the Lord hath heard the voice of my weeping. The Lord hath heard my supplication; the Lord will receive my prayer. --Psalm 6

Tears are prayer. The private prayers with tears—in our beds, all night long—can only be sincere and deep. Divine Love hears these prayers, and fights for us.

My tears have been my meat day and night, while they continually say unto me, Where is thy God? When I remember these things, I pour out my soul in me: --Psalm 42

I love this “pour out my soul” concept. Tears pour out of us. All that we have goes into them. We are fully “in” the experience that makes us cry, and in those moments our spiritual sense unites with the human in compassionate yearning. It cannot leave us where it found us.

Thou tellest my wanderings: put thou my tears into thy bottle: are they not in thy book? When I cry unto thee, then shall mine enemies turn back: this I know; for God is for me. --Psalm 56

Divine Love bottles our tearful prayers, writes them in the book of Love. No tear is wasted. Such precious love our dear Father-Mother has for us, tenderly beside us, collecting even the expressions of our grief and comforting us.

Blessed is the man whose strength is in thee; in whose heart are the ways of them. Who passing through the valley of Baca make it a well; the rain also filleth the pools. They go from strength to strength, every one of them in Zion appeareth before God. --Psalm 84

The “valley of Baca” is translated to the “valley of weeping.” This is one of my favorite Bible passages. The weeping becomes a well, blessed water that baptizes us and quenches our thirst. The weeping causes us to go from strength to strength, undiminished and undefeated.

They that sow in tears shall reap in joy. He that goeth forth and weepeth, bearing precious seed, shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him. --Psalm 126

Our tears even water the seeds of our experience, that the experience will bear fruit. What an amazing image, that of trudging along, heads to the ground, planting our tiny seeds of suffering and watering them with our tears, then returning to find a harvest of abundant growth and progress that both feeds and sustains us.

the Lord God will wipe away tears from off all faces; and the rebuke of his people shall he take away from off all the earth: for the Lord hath spoken it. And it shall be said in that day, Lo, this is our God; we have waited for him, and he will save us: this is the Lord; we have waited for him, we will be glad and rejoice in his salvation. --Isaiah 25

Divine Love assures us that our tears will be wiped away, will be as nothing. We will be taken away from this earthly experience to an existence that has no possibility of tears. All that will remain is the salvation of our God.

And I heard a great voice out of heaven saying, Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and he will dwell with them, and they shall be his people, and God himself shall be with them, and be their God. And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. And he that sat upon the throne said, Behold, I make all things new. --Revelation 21

Here is what that perfect existence looks like, all things are become new. There is no death or pain or sorrow or crying. We purchase our entrance now with tears, with the agony of coming out of the cocoon of materiality as a butterfly struggles to come forth and become its true self. The struggle is not remembered, though, in the bright morning of our first flight.

So there is no shame in weeping. Weeping is Love’s open door into your heart.

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To drink, or not to drink? Part II

Got some GREAT comments to the blog entry yesterday. Thank you everyone for your thoughts and participation. Here are some excerpts, you can read them in full here.

It's a good idea to avoid using anything that claims to change your way of thought. And having teensy little sips of wine at a wine-tasting can be like standing at the top of a very slippery slope.

With all the sin in the human condition -- the things that challenge the first commandment -- why is drinking wine elevated above others?

I'd say don't do it. A practical reason for not partaking at a wine tasting is that you will not know whether or not the wine is any good! Do a Google search for "first taste of wine." You'll learn that it takes years of experience with wine before understanding those "nuances" the experts claim.

Mrs. Eddy had other reasons for discouraging alcohol use than interference with our mental abilities. She encourages us to deny the pleasures of matter so that we can avoid believing in the pains of matter.

One other reason. Your stand on not drinking may be of big help to someone watching, who needs the courage to say no. And you will be a shining example of how to graciously refuse to drink while enjoying life and the people you are with. Why lose that opportunity?

From Germany—

In my youth I was drinking a glass of wine or beer from time to time. I never got drunken, and it was ok for me for a long time. But I did not want to obey a law [as a Christian Scientist] just because it was written somewhere - I did want to understand why I should obey it. So I started to ask God why I had to quit.

The answer finally came. I catched myself with a beer in my hands which I did not really want to drink. I took it because the party was wonderful, and everyone took beer. That one bottle wouldn't have done any harm, because I had very little before - but suddenly I realized how much power the alcohol has in the society. It shows up everywhere, at birthday partys, in pubs, at jubilees, ... It was such a matter of course to drink alcohol anywhere and everytime. Although for me personally it was always easy to say no when I did not want any more drink, I realized that there may be people who cannot draw themselves from drinking that easily. In that very moment, I decided not to add any more power to alcohol, and I quitted it. I did not feel any want for any alcohol afterwards.

For me, it was surprising to see how people reacted. My friends - I was at the university at that time - did just accept it. When they gave a party and invited me, they always had some juice and water just for me. Collegues at a jubilee did grab a glass of champaign first, and when I asked the host for some juice they put it away again and said "Oh, that's a good idea! Please can I have one as well".

So the key point for me was a) to see how much power alcohol has over people, and b) how little the power is known.

This is such a great topic! I have been working with these concepts myself and it occurs to me that the problem is the "making of idols". What I mean is that we create a little idol of the wine or alcohol by saying that we need it to enjoy ourselves or enjoy a trip abroad. I think that we can spiritualy look for the good in ourselves and the good in the trip abroad and realise that the good feelings and wonderful time we will have come from God. All the wonderful feelings of friendship and enjoyment that people think comes from drinking, in fact, comes from God. There is no other source!!

It is wonderful to ask God every day what He would like you to enjoy. It takes away the human mind's need to search and identify with something to feel good about and allows God to fill you with joy directly.

Have a wonderful trip!!

This was emailed to me:

Brittany would be doing absolutely nothing wrong--or disobedient--by attending a wine tasting. Looking at the spirit--rather than the letter--of MBE's caution shows that she was warning against conceding one's mental control to a material substance, much as she warned against hypnotists. If Brittany were contemplating drinking so much that she passes out in a French gutter, she would be being disobedient to MBE's warnings against inebriation, but that's not what she's expecting to do. My feeling about Christian Science is that MBE's followers are "allowed" --indeed, expected--to turn to God for direction, not to blindly follow the letter of her writing. After all, "the time for thinkers has come."

Really great stuff. And what would my answer be?

I’m an admitted teetotaler. Have personally never let any alcohol pass my lips (unless you count the few sips of a Kahlua and crème many years ago that was mostly crème). So I’m not sure I’m one to ask. I don’t understand the draw, so can’t really comment on that. I saw Sideways a few months ago, and it made wine drinking look fun until they started getting sauced all the time—and it was while they were drunk that they did the stupid things that moved the plot forward. Is that a necessary part of wine? Can you drink wine without overindulging?

Anyway, here’s a passage in Science and Health that to me could lead to an answer for Brittany:

At all times and under all circumstances, overcome evil with good. Know thyself, and God will supply the wisdom and the occasion for a victory over evil. Clad in the panoply of Love, human hatred cannot reach you. The cement of a higher humanity will unite all interests in the one divinity.

“Know thyself.” Brittany, no one else can do this for you. You know your own goodness; you know your own curiosity. This trip to France will probably be a long journey of self-discovery for you—the wine tasting is just one small part of what you’ll learn about yourself. Be yourself and know yourself. God’s in France, too, and He’ll guide you. I hope you’ll blog about it while you’re there!

It’s like what I’ve written before about other issues: It’s not about taking a stand and then forcing our spiritual journey to fit with that. It’s about letting our spiritual journey inform our practices from the basis of understanding and self-awareness.

You are on a journey, in more ways that one. Only you can know what fits with that journey, but you can be sure divine Love is right there with you, every step of the way.

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To drink, or not to drink?

I got this comment from Brittany in response to yesterday's posting:

I thought today's blog was really interesting. Perhaps you can help me reason how the "short-cut" explination fits in with a moral dilemma that I'm working on. I am taking a trip to Europe this fall going all over to contries like France. This is where I have my issue. France is known for their wine and I am really interested in seeing what all the hype is about. I am of legal drinking age in the US so it wouldn't be like I was cheating US laws by drinking in a country that allows it at a younger age. So what is my dilemma really you ask? I know MBE teaches that drinking is not a good idea because it messes with your mental defenses. I would like to respect that. But I'm still curious. I have always had pride in the moral standards that I have maintained for myself because I'm a Christian Scientist (ie no drugs, alcohol, sex, etc). Would it be against my moral standards that I have set for myself as a Christian Scientist to go, say, to go to a wine tasting show in France? Is that a short-cut? You mentioned that you have to "earn" sex, how would that apply to drinking? Can you ever earn drinking? Help!

Before I say what I think, I thought I'd see what great ideas you guys have. Reply in the comments or email me. Has anyone else dealt with this issue? What conclusion did you come to?

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Don’t take the shortcut

Here’s a fun subject—morality.

I’ve been thinking about what makes something moral or not. It’s very tough to tell sometimes, since it seems to very much depend on conditions.

For example, driving through an intersection is fine if the light is green, but wrong if the light is red. The drive-through doesn’t have any moral weight on it in and of itself. It’s the external conditions of red/green that give it a moral value.

Taking a piece of candy at a store is okay if it’s in a dish by the cash register, but not okay if it’s on the shelf and marked for sale. Picking a flower is okay if you’re out walking in a field, but not okay if you’re at an outdoor mall.

So what about the *big* moral questions? Do the same rules apply? I think so.

Lying to your spouse feels okay to most if it’s about their appearance or their success. Even if you think they don’t look that great right now, or if you think they did just screw up at work, you’ll instead say the opposite in order to be encouraging. Some would call that diplomacy rather than lying. However, lying to your spouse about where you were last night doesn’t cut it. And lying under oath is never okay, as a recent president found out.

To me, then, it’s the conditions surrounding the moral choice that have to be examined.

So now I’ll leap to a big subject, which for some reason has a lot of us confused—sex. It seems like such a big deal, but to be honest, I think it falls in the same category. Sex in and of itself has no moral weight on it. It’s the surrounding conditions that make it right or wrong.

Of course, there’s not a lot of agreement about the surrounding conditions. However, I think we’re on the right track if we’re actively trying to elevate those conditions. For myself personally, I’m looking at marriage as the proper condition for me to have sex again. I want to put the time in to get to know someone, to let the love and trust deepen, to make the commitment, before I indulge the physical side. Anything else would be a shortcut.

So it occurred to me as I was thinking about all this yesterday that another definition of “sin” could be “taking a shortcut.” Sin could be thought of as taking the enjoyment or benefit before we’ve earned it. The enjoyment or benefit isn’t evil in and of itself, it’s our own timing about when we partake of it that makes it strengthening or detrimental to our spiritual progress. We need to wait for the light to turn green.

I’m just reasoning this out in my rambling kind of way. Would love to know your thoughts.

p.s., It’s a well-known fact about bloggers that they LOVE to have people comment on their blogs. So feel free to do so any time!

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Good overwhelms

Just saw the snippet preview of Angelina Jolie on Anderson Cooper 360 (you can find the video on the CNN homepage under “Free Video”). The full show is on CNN tonight.

Of course I feel all the usual—respect for Angelina for using her fame to spotlight an enormous problem, despair at the overwhelming size of the problem, hopelessness about what I can do about it personally, faith in the power of prayer.

Africa sounds like a real mess, with incredible promise. And just writing that sentence has brought it to a manageable level for me. I know some young people I really love whom I could write the same thing about. And they’re coming out of their funk and into their own. It’s inexorable. Growing pains notwithstanding, the end successful result is clearly coming.

So can the same spiritual truths that apply to one individual’s spiritual growth apply to an entire continent? And what can we, as the “parents,” do to encourage that growth?

As a parent or mentor, what seems to be work best is to express unfailingly your faith in the person while clearly stating the standards. But also to get out of the way to let the person make their own choices about what they want to do with their lives.

This is where faith kicks in. To consistently and sincerely know in your heart and in your prayers of the undeniable goodness of whomever you’re praying for—be it a toddler, a college student, or a continent. To know that the truly overwhelming aspect of all this is the goodness that is there. The love of families, the bonds of community. The inherent goodness will overmaster the problems. Good cannot fail.

Science and Health states, “The way to extract error from mortal mind is to pour in truth through flood-tides of Love.” I guess I generally have thought that this means I have to myself produce the flood-tides of Love to wash away the problem. Yet now, with this insight about goodness, I’m thinking the flood-tides are already there.

Goodness and Love exist in Africa as well as here as well as everywhere in the universe. They flood time and space and need little assistance from me. My role is to see it here, there and everywhere.

The problem is not overwhelming, but already overwhelmed—by good. Now let us act accordingly.

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Re-oriented desire

Do you know that early U2 song, Desi-i-i-i-i-re? It’s a pretty grungy song, about the street, very raw. Great rhythm. And it kind of puts into words the intensity of desire and how it can control us if we let it.

I sometimes hear people talk about “wrong desire” vs. “right desire.” Yet I’m not sure you can differentiate that way. To me, all desires are pointing toward something. Desire makes us transform. If we had no yearnings, we’d stay exactly the same as we’ve always been. We don’t always get what we thought we desired, but we do get answers.

Once I was highly desirous of a particular young man. I had fallen deeply in love with him, but he broke it off. For months, I couldn’t get him out of my head. I prayed and prayed and prayed about it, yet he never wound up calling me or showing any sign of interest. Why weren’t my prayers being answered?

All that prayer, though, was leading to spiritual growth in other areas. I became more connected to God spiritually, became more convinced of my own true nature, began to experience increased harmony in other areas of my life. Yet this obsession persisted.

One day I was studying the Bible and came across this obscure little passage in an unfamiliar psalm, addressing the Lord:

Whom have I in heaven but thee? and there is none upon earth that I desire beside thee.

--Psalms

This took my breath away. “None upon earth that I desire beside thee.” Could I honestly say that I didn’t desire anything on earth above God, no person place or thing? And not even *above* God, but actually have no desire besides God?

If the psalm were correct, then my desires for love and affection and attention and intimacy could all be answered by the Divine. Maybe I should start looking there, instead of to a man.

So I did. I looked to God for all that I was desiring, and began to find answers. Small at first, but steady, about my own worth and loveliness.

Mary Baker Eddy writes in a well-known passage:

Desire is prayer; and no loss can occur from trusting God with our desires, that they may be moulded and exalted before they take form in words and in deeds.

--Science and Health

All my desires had been prayers all along. By having desires, I was demonstrating a yearning to grow spiritually. I’m no longer afraid of my desires. I see them now as waymarks to what I next need to learn. And, because I know I’ll find answers, I’m more certain to orient my efforts toward Spirit.

I got over the guy years ago. But that moment with the psalm has stayed with me as a jewel in my spiritual treasure chest. It helps me to see that I never really did desire anything besides God.

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Speaking in new tongues

Why are the actual words we use important?

I throw this out there because of the recent U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops’ decision to change some wording in the mass. (Read about it on CNN.com.) Even I know some of the words and phrases they’re opting to change, and I can count the times I’ve attended a mass on two hands.

So I ask again, why are the words important?

I certainly gain comfort from the words I have memorized, such as loved prayers, hymns, passages, etc. Their very familiarity connects me with all the other times the words have comforted me, and reciting or thinking about them puts me in the frame of mind to be comforted again.

But in some respects, that’s like comfort food—those mashed potatoes remind me of Thanksgiving, chocolate chip cookies bring me right to Christmas. The food in front of me that I’m eating in early summer doesn’t have those qualities—I put them there because of memory. So is that real, or not?

The trouble starts, I think, when I begin to believe I can’t experience that comfort *without* those exact words (or that food). When comfort is so linked to the form the ideas have taken that I never go beyond that to the substance of the ideas themselves. In other words, if I start to think that the words *are* the ideas. And they’re not.

I talk to many people about how to deepen their practice of spirituality, and it often boils down to taking a break from the words and communing instead exclusively with the ideas. This communion brings the ideas to you in an original way, not bounded by the words of others. You then make the ideas your own, and come up with your own ways of expressing and living them. You are transformed.

To me, that’s the test. Is the recitation or study of familiar words contributing to a transformation of thought, or is it allowing the person to just stay in the same groove without experiencing spiritual growth? The latter I’d actually say is detrimental to progress. The former is the only point to learning the words in the first place.

Whether one says, “and with your spirit,” or “and also with you,” after hearing “The Lord be with you,” to me makes no never mind in and of itself. There are many words that are frequently rote in my own tradition as well. But what is the meaning of the words, and is that meaning drawing me closer to the Divine? Do I listen with new ears every time, do I speak with a new tongue?

I’m going to try in my prayers today to gain the high ground of listening and speaking new ideas. Certainly they’ll build on the ideas I’ve already learned, but I’m committed to “making all things new.” In that way only can I be transformed.

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late today! sorry!

I have an early morning meeting today, so will be blogging a few hours later. See you then!

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Also, I'll take this opportunity to encourage you to sign up on my Frappr map!

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eBay is like God

Have you ever used eBay? It’s this huge online auction. You can search for whatever item you have a hankering for, and bid on it. Others bid on it as well, and the highest bidders win. Sometimes there’s a “buy it now” price as well, that’s generally much higher than the bidding, but you can get what you want instantly that way.

I’ve used eBay a few times, to search for obscure items from my past—a certain kind of spoon, a board game from my childhood, outdated computer equipment, a Cuddly Duddly. They were all there. What’s amazing to me is that no matter how obscure the item is, I’ve been able to find it on eBay. If I didn’t win the bidding war, I know the item will come back again someday.

My daughter recently bid on something, but eventually lost and didn’t get the item. Her friend comforted her with, “Don’t worry, eBay is like God. What you need is always there for you, you’ll find it.”

God supplying our needs, even to the details! There is nothing we need that God doesn’t supply.

I still remember the time with gratitude about the full-length mirror. (I wrote about it from a different angle a year ago.) We were living in LA, poor but happy, and I was new in the Christian Science practice. I idly thought at one point, We really need a full-length mirror. But I knew I couldn’t afford to buy one. I just had the thought, and then let it go.

Within a few weeks, a friend of ours who was moving away gave us a full-length mirror. And it wasn’t just the kind you get at Target, but a 4x5, beveled, elegant piece that had a beauty of its own besides what it reflected. I put it right at the top of the stairs, and thought of God’s wondrous provision every time I checked out my ensemble before heading out.

Have you ever had someone just offer to give you something that you needed, with no strings attached? They don’t need it anymore, and you do. That’s God doing the eBay thing. Matching up supply and demand specifically and effectively.

“Divine Love always has met and always will meet every human need.” This well-known phrase in Christian Science from Science and Health is not just about the big things. It’s also about the minutiae. Look for it today.

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Inconvenient women

In case you missed it, there was a fantastic cover story about Mary Magdalene in a recent Newsweek: An Inconvenient Woman. Amazing that she’s getting cover story treatment!

Today I want to acknowledge another inconvenient woman, the one who founded Christian Science, Mary Baker Eddy.

I’ve often contemplated the impact on me as a female of being raised in a denomination that accepts a woman as its founder. I’m deeply grateful for this—I think it had the effect on me of never doubting my value in God’s eyes as a woman. It never even occurred to me to see myself as second-class or weak or unintelligent. With Eddy as my primary historical hero (I don’t even want to write “heroine”), I had no reason to think my own potential is any less.

And not only was always having her as a role model and leader strengthening, witnessing the men at church, including my own father, joining in this acknowledgement helped me see I could expect respect from the men in my life. We were all working together to further Eddy’s work and ideas, and the men didn’t question this. I find that revolutionary.

In more recent years, as I’ve gotten to know more details about Mary Baker Eddy’s life, I’ve become even more impressed with what she accomplished. She’d be hard pressed to do all that today, let alone doing it back then with all the gender cards stacked against her. She didn’t give up, though, because her ideas were too big to keep to herself.

Today, as I contemplate my own place in forwarding Eddy’s healing system, I realize it’s up to me to do all I can. No one else is going to do what is my special slice to do, just as no one would have picked up the work for Mary Baker Eddy or even Mary Magdalene. The tasks at hand to do this work are 1) become a better healer myself, 2) make myself available to anyone who needs help, 3) not be shy about offering this great teaching when the opportunity presents itself, and 4) not be bounded by tradition or outside opinion as I pursue my vocation.

And I’m on the road to being somewhat of an inconvenient woman myself.

Read more about Mary Baker Eddy at The Mary Baker Eddy Library site.

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The trouble with Samson

Went to temple over the weekend, just to get another perspective on worship. The haftarah reading was about the birth of Samson, and the rabbi had an interesting take on why Samson turned out to be such a disappointment.

You’ll recall that Samson is the guy with the hair. He’s enormously strong, but also kind of a wild child, known for picking fights and getting involved with the local hussy Delilah. She’s hired by the Philistines to find out what makes Samson so strong, and it’s his hair. She wheedles this secret out of him in a moment of seduction, betrays him, and he’s shaved and imprisoned. But, his hair grows back, so that when he’s chained in the Philistine’s arena between two pillars, he’s able to pull down the pillars, topple the structure, and crush the Philistines. (Read the whole story in Judges 13-16.)

The thing is, he’d been born with such promise. His folks were barren, and had one of those miracle births, complete with an angel coming to tell them and give them instructions. Samson was fated to be one of the judges, or Nazarites, a holy duty. The whole thing worked like clockwork until the boy was actually on the scene. Then he went his own way.

The rabbi at temple explained that to be a Nazarite was a highly respected, very responsible position. The men who did so took an oath and fulfilled a term, sometimes as short as six months. But Samson was supposed to be one “from the womb.” The rabbi made the point that perhaps it was this lack of choice that led to Samson’s wildness. Samson never took the oath, or himself chose to fulfill this duty. Perhaps it was the assumption that Samson would fulfill this role, without Samson’s consent, that caused his rebellion and lascivious behavior.

Of course there’s a message here for parents today. How often do we just assume our kids should adopt our values or hopes for them? Are we actively seeking their perspective on some of these life choices, or would we rather not know they’re secretly just waiting to get out of the house to go their own way? Do we shower them with confidence that they know what’s right for themselves, or do we exude disapproval when their choices differ from ours?

It’s a tough one. I’m finding that I have a list of things I’m liberal about, things I’d steeled myself to respect their differing opinions about, but I also have a list of non-negotiables. And it’s the non-negotiables that challenge me to find respect for them in my heart even when we don’t agree. At some point, not everything they do can be because I’ve given them permission.

The other night, after a great deal of calming prayer and centering myself, I found myself saying, “I don’t like what you’re about to do, I don’t agree that you should do it, but I’m not going to stop you.” The child involved accepted that respectfully, but went anyway—and through circumstances was back home again within ten minutes. I just went, “Huh.”

I love this passage from Science and Health: “Motives and acts are not rightly valued before they are understood. It is well to wait till those whom you would benefit are ready for the blessing, for Science is working changes in personal character as well as in the material universe” (p. 238).

I really need to let Science—meaning to me in this context an individual’s true nature and connection to Spirit—do the heavy lifting. And then, perhaps, my kids won’t turn out like Samson, collapsing a building on top of themselves, but will be more like a David, who only uses weapons he’s proven, or a Jesus, with parents who don’t interfere and do unconditionally support.

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One small idea

I’m one who wants to find the entire solution right away. When a problem looms, I want to categorize it, figure it out, set a strategy and fix it. Sometimes this makes sense; other times, I can only accomplish this by sheer force of will. You know the results aren’t that great, therefore, and I wind up having to regroup or do over.

Lately when things have gotten too complicated even for developing a concrete strategy, I’ve found myself wailing, “What do I do now?” And if I’m looking for a big answer that will solve the whole problem in one gulp, I’m invariably disappointed. But sometimes, if I calm myself and listen, I get *one* idea. One little beam of light that gives me just the next step.

I love this story from Anne Lamott’s Bird by Bird, Some Instructions on Writing and Life:

[T]hirty years ago my older brother, who was ten years old at the time, was trying to get a report on birds written that he’d had three months to write, which was due the next day. We were out at our family cabin in Bolinas, and he was at the kitchen table close to tears, surrounded by binder paper and pencils and unopened books on birds, immobilized by the hugeness of the task ahead. Then my father sat down beside him, put his arm around my brother’s shoulder, and said, “Bird by bird, buddy. Just take it bird by bird.”

One thing at a time. Just do that one thing, and trust that it’s leading to the whole solution.

Like recently I’ve been trying to sort through a very knotty problem that came to a head last week. Major conflagration and disaster with someone close to me. I went to bed with no answer in sight, and spent a long night in despair. I prayed for the big answer that would give me peace, and got nothing. Not even a spiritual pat on the head to reassure me things would be okay. What am I going to do? I can’t go on like this!

I had to get up in the morning for a 7am meeting, which I didn’t think I could do but it went well anyway. A few friends who knew some of what I was going through offered some encouraging words. Huh, I thought. Maybe I can get through this. Maybe it’s just about getting through today. One day at a time.

On the drive home I got just one idea, to call someone and ask for a favor. The person was fine with the idea, even delighted to help. In effect, her agreeing to the favor allowed my entire weekend to relax. What a gift. This gave me the energy to face the problem again a few days later.

So I’m learning the power of one small idea, as opposed to huge policy decisions. One small idea can get you what you need right now. And all we ever need is what we need right now. We don’t really need anything tomorrow or the next day. When that gets here, it will then be right now. So how about letting right now happen?

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A sampling of inspiration

Today, how about a little tour of things I’ve found inspiring this week:

First, a blog entry by my friend Kim: infinite and intimate. I love her juxtaposition of these two concepts. Worth contemplating and taking to heart.

Second, a blog entry by Red Fork Hippie Chick: Sparks in the dark. A great new “meme” for us all to keep uppermost in thought. Get me some of those Lifesavers.

Next up is an article in The Washington Post: Go to Church by Staying at Home. I’m fascinated with this trend of house churches—anyone want to join me? Maybe we could do something over the phone? Actually, I was thinking of perhaps hosting a one-a-month open conference call for sharing, Q&A, and inspiration, anyone interested?

Finally, I really loved a recent Newsweek cover story where they took back what they said 20 years ago: Marriage by the Numbers. If anyone remembers, they predicted back then that women over 40 had a better chance of being killed by terrorists than of getting married—and this was before 9/11. Now they’ve re-examined the trend, and are eating their words. Refreshing!

So, enjoy this tasty sampling—I hope it's a feast for your weekend!

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Al dente perfection

The other night we were making pasta, and I asked my daughter to look at the box to see how long to let the noodles boil. The box said, “‘Al dente’ perfection in 9–10 minutes.”

“We are such an impatient world!” she said. “It used to be ‘Rome wasn’t built in a day,’ and now it’s ‘Perfection in 10 minutes.’”

We laughed, and I found this profound.

The perfect pasta. The perfect steak. The perfect strawberry. I’ve had many of these, but I never tire of searching for them—that exquisite moment when you know you’re experiencing perfection. The perfect spring day. The perfect ocean view. The perfect conversation. These things entrance us, probably because they don’t happen every day. But every day, perfect things happen.

Is perfection something we should have to wait for? Or is it around us all the time, every moment? Sometimes I’m conscious of just loving my house or my yard. They’re there every day, but I appreciate them in singular moments. And probably no one else would think they’re perfect, what with the vivid colors and untamed growth and all, yet they’re perfect to me.

So today, I’m thinking of perfection not as a goal but as something to open my eyes and see. After all, there’s no aspect of my spiritual nature I don’t have access to right now, including my own expression of Spirit’s perfection. Spirit exists, filling all space, spanning all time, perfect, all-powerful.

Perfection is omnipotent. Therefore it exudes from itself and compels expression and recognition. I am compelled to see it and experience it, even in limited mortal form. That experience of delight and wonder, of gratitude and blessing, is a foretaste of what infinite perfection will feel like once I understand it.

And, although it’s hard to see and admit sometimes, I know I’m a part of that perfection, too. I do perfect things. Sometimes I comfort someone just right, or I put a sentence together that sings, or I accomplish everything on the to-do list in a timely way. I express perfection. You do, too. We can’t help it, and we need to magnify it, instead of the all-too-human tendency to downplay it and focus on our shortcomings. Self-improvement is all very well and good, but it should be based on the admission that we’re perfect to begin with, because we’re made in the image of perfect Spirit. How do we express perfection, every day?

The pasta turned out just right. You turned out just right, too. Stick a fork in yourself—you’re done.

Perfection underlies reality. Without perfection, nothing is wholly real.

--Mary Baker Eddy

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What is Mind?

Yesterday I spent a lot of time with the brilliant question-and-answer in Science and Health, “What is Mind?” It was one of those instructive times when contemplating the ideas in a particular passage and applying them specifically to each situation I was supporting with prayer led to deeper and deeper revelations. I read the passage through multiple times, once for each item on my prayer list, and found a new nugget of healing inspiration for each one.

Some highlights:

Question. — What is Mind?
Answer. — Mind is God. The exterminator of error is the great truth that God, good, is the only Mind, and that the supposititious opposite of infinite Mind — called devil or evil — is not Mind, is not Truth, but error, without intelligence or reality.

• The "exterminator of error" is the truth that God is the only Mind. To me this is because in order to exist, a thing has to be created. With Mind as the only Creator, all that exists must make sense, must be intelligent, must be harmonious. So, those things that are faulty or unintelligent or discordant—error—were not created by Mind, and therefore not created at all. Mind is the Creator, and this exterminates error.

There can be but one Mind, because there is but one God; and if mortals claimed no other Mind and accepted no other, sin would be unknown. We can have but one Mind, if that one is infinite. We bury the sense of infinitude, when we admit that, although God is infinite, evil has a place in this infinity, for evil can have no place, where all space is filled with God.

• With one Mind, there is no sin. Sin, then, is a product of believing there is more than one mind, and these minds are at cross-purposes. Sin is believing we have our own mind, and can go our own way. Alignment with the one Mind obliterates sin. And there is only one Mind because that Mind is infinite—there’s no room for any other.

We lose the high signification of omnipotence, when after admitting that God, or good, is omnipresent and has all-power, we still believe there is another power, named evil. This belief that there is more than one mind is as pernicious to divine theology as are ancient mythology and pagan idolatry.

• If I believe that someone else is wrong, I’m believing in more than one Mind, because I’m believing in the reality of evil or wrongness. This was a major revelation for me yesterday. Since there is only one Mind, however, I can dwell in that and trust that everyone else is a creation of that Mind as well.

With one Father, even God, the whole family of man would be brethren; and with one Mind and that God, or good, the brotherhood of man would consist of Love and Truth, and have unity of Principle and spiritual power which constitute divine Science.

• One Mind can govern every situation, every transaction, every outcome, if we just get out of its way. With only one Mind, I don’t need to say anything. Anyone else involved in a situation knows the same reality that I know. And none of what we know is told to us by the physical senses. (More on this below.)

The supposed existence of more than one mind was the basic error of idolatry. This error assumed the loss of spiritual power, the loss of the spiritual presence of Life as infinite Truth without an unlikeness, and the loss of Love as ever present and universal.

• Do I want to be an idolater? Claiming I know better than someone else, no matter how young and inexperienced they are, is a form of idolatry, since again it’s believing in more than one Mind. Yikes!

Divine Science explains the abstract statement that there is one Mind by the following self-evident proposition: If God, or good, is real, then evil, the unlikeness of God, is unreal. And evil can only seem to be real by giving reality to the unreal. The children of God have but one Mind. How can good lapse into evil, when God, the Mind of man, never sins? The standard of perfection was originally God and man. Has God taken down His own standard, and has man fallen?

• "The children of God have but one Mind." Do I believe this? Do I understand this? Am I acting accordingly? I felt the need to really straighten up after contemplating this part of the passage.

God is the creator of man, and, the divine Principle of man remaining perfect, the divine idea or reflection, man, remains perfect. Man is the expression of God's being. If there ever was a moment when man did not express the divine perfection, then there was a moment when man did not express God, and consequently a time when Deity was unexpressed — that is, without entity. If man has lost perfection, then he has lost his perfect Principle, the divine Mind. If man ever existed without this perfect Principle or Mind, then man's existence was a myth.

• Here to me Eddy resolves her hypotheticals brilliantly. Good never lapses into evil. God has not taken down his own standard. Man has not fallen. And that last sentence, "If man ever existed without this perfect Principle or Mind, then man's existence was a myth" made me realize that if someone exists at all, that person is perfect. I don’t even want to qualify that by saying "their spiritual being is perfect." I need to radically accept the perfection of those I’m praying for right here, right now, and express and align with the confidence that they are as connected to divine Mind as I am.

The relations of God and man, divine Principle and idea, are indestructible in Science; and Science knows no lapse from nor return to harmony, but holds the divine order or spiritual law, in which God and all that He creates are perfect and eternal, to have remained unchanged in its eternal history.

• This "no lapse from nor return to harmony" has healed many a case.

The unlikeness of Truth, — named error, — the opposite of Science, and the evidence before the five corporeal senses, afford no indication of the grand facts of being; even as these so-called senses receive no intimation of the earth's motions or of the science of astronomy, but yield assent to astronomical propositions on the authority of natural science.

• Here’s the explanation of how it is we are sometimes duped into believing in more than one Mind—it is through believing the evidence of the senses. Remembering yesterday that it’s only my five personal senses that tell me someone else is wrong or misguided or hurting helped me see that I can be more rigorous in discounting the evidence of the senses to know Truth more clearly.

The facts of divine Science should be admitted, — although the evidence as to these facts is not supported by evil, by matter, or by material sense, — because the evidence that God and man coexist is fully sustained by spiritual sense. Man is, and forever has been, God's reflection. God is infinite, therefore ever present, and there is no other power nor presence. Hence the spirituality of the universe is the only fact of creation. "Let God be true, but every [material] man a liar."

• And here, to sum up, she places it before us—what are we believing? God or the senses?

Let’s you and me spend the day believing God for a change. It made a huge difference to me yesterday.

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Coming home

I came home over the weekend.

Saturday I spent much of the day praying about home. As I went deeper into this contemplation, home took on a new meaning for me. I’d often prayed about my home having spiritual qualities; I’d never understood that home is itself a spiritual concept. This opened up some new lines of thought.

Home. Heaven. Harmony. Mary Baker Eddy links these concepts in the glossary of Science and Health. As spiritual concepts, these things are not far off but a present reality. And they are equivalent. How does that work?

What is home? I listed off some attributes in my prayer. Home is:

• Where you belong
• Where you are welcomed
• Where you are loved
• Where you are understood
• Where you are safe
• Where you are at peace
• Where you are one with a family

Home is your foundation, security, stability. Spiritually, though, I know I have all things at all times. God, good fills all space, so there is no spot where I do not have all those attributes of home. Home is not somewhere I have to go—it’s something I carry with me.

I began to see home as having no borders. Mary Baker Eddy writes, “Home is the dearest spot on earth, and it should be the centre, though not the boundary, of the affections” (p. 58). She’s talking about our earthly home, but remembering the sentence made me see that my spiritual home has no boundary.

Home is not limited to a location or set of people. We have a spiritual home. We are at home in Love. At home in Spirit. At home in Soul. Mind, Truth, Principle, Life. This is where we dwell.

We are always at home. Even as we are being adventurous or entrepreneurial or investigative, we are embraced in home. We bring home with us.

And our home is harmonious. There’s nothing discordant at home. Our homes have “God is Love” over the door. Home is dry and warm and light and cheerful—any discord is temporary, not a true part of home. All is well at home.

And this is heaven. Heaven here and now, in thought, in harmony, at home.

So I’m not letting anything shake my sense of home, my presence in heaven, my life of harmony. Home is all there is.

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Dispatches from the Edge

Could not put it down.

Anderson Cooper’s new (and first) book, Dispatches from the Edge, is riveting reading for anyone wanting to find some meaning in the many recent disasters our world has faced. From war to famine to tsunami to hurricane, Cooper was on the scene, not only reporting for us but coming to terms with his own demons.

Some excerpts that resonated with me:

As a boy looking at [the] globe, I grew up believing, as most people do, that the earth is round. … But in truth, the world is constantly shifting: shape and size, location in space. It’s got edges and chasms, too many to count. They open up , close, reappear somewhere else. … The world has many edges, and it’s very easy to fall off.

I feel like I’m “on the edge” or “on edge” all the time. Cooper’s words made me realize a lot of us feel that way. And I became filled with that compassion I wrote about a few days ago. Just compassion for each of us, facing every day the things that trouble us, continuing to face them and move forward. That sensation of having to keep moving, again something I happened to write about last week, is elaborated in Cooper’s empathy with sharks.

The week after my father died, I saw one of those old Jacques Cousteau documentaries. It was about sharks. I learned that they have to keep moving in order to live. It’s the only way they can breathe. Forward motion, constantly forcing water through their gills. … Hurtling across oceans, from one conflict to the next, one disaster to another, I sometimes believe it’s motion that keeps me alive as well. … You run toward what everyone else is running from, believing your camera will somehow protect you, not really caring if it doesn’t. All you want to do is get it, feel it, be in it. … Keep moving, keep cool, stay alive, force air through your lungs, oxygen into your blood. Keep moving. Keep cool. Stay alive.

I can just feel that energy flowing through him. It’s an energy that fuels my own work as well. How is it I can keep moving some days? When things look black and I’m tempted not to care. I keep moving, I believe, through Spirit. Reading his book is making me think of Spirit as a shark. This is a new image for me, that of tireless roving, always there, always on its way, near at hand. Not as a sinister presence, but as an indefatigable friend, swimming right along beside me. Invincible. Strange, but somehow apropos.

And then something Anderson Cooper wrote made me laugh because I’ve also written about what he mentions recently. He’s on a helicopter in Iraq, with the Ambassador J. Paul Bremer, who is not talking to him. Not much is being accomplished by Bremer and his team diplomatically, and of course the situation in Iraq is a mess.

There were three Blackwater gunmen seated around us, and perhaps a dozen more in the choppers that followed. The guard next to me had a Maori tattoo on his arm and was reading a well-worn paperback. At first I couldn’t see what it was, but as he turned a page, I caught a glimpse of the title: How to Win Friends and Influence People.

The book is a fast read, taut, written in short bursts and vignettes. Check it out the next time you’re in a bookstore, it’s on the bestseller rack.

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