How being yourself guarantees infinite supply

I thought I'd post a little index of the parts of my recent talk for Emergence International, so people could find them all in one place.

Part I: Introduction

Part II: What we are fighting

Part III: Know God

Part IV: Be obedient

Part V: Be yourself

Part VI: Refuting old theology

Part VII: Let it flow

Part VIII: What you can do

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What I learned on the film set

I took some film jobs this summer.

As part of the self-discovery over the last year with the life coach, my love for film as a career has been reignited. So now I'm pursuing it in earnest even as I continue to edit books freelance and write my own stuff.

Interestingly, and great timing for me, there's a growing film industry here in Massachusetts. Something to do with tax laws and the construction of a film studio on the South Shore. Whatever the reason, it gives me the opportunity to get some film credit before making my dreamed of move back to Los Angeles.

So, I worked on several shorts and one feature film this summer. The job I had on the set is known as "script supervisor." I even got an IMDb credit for it! This position works closely with the script and the director, ensuring continuity between takes and that every wish of the director gets recorded. While it's not a high level position, it does place you right in the thick of things every moment of filming. I loved it!

And, like any intense new experience, this wasn't without its spiritual lessons. You know it's mostly a young, young group of people making all these films. The crews on the sets I worked were mostly college students. At first, I wasn't sure if I could keep up with them. The days are long—eighteen hours sometimes—and you're never sure when the next meal will be—or what it will be. The location changes every day as well. There's no regularity or predictability at all—you really can't get used to things and settle in.

At one point, after having to lug all my own gear around for a couple days, I pulled a muscle in my shoulder. My first thoughts were that maybe I needed to admit that I was too old for this job, that it was too physically rigorous, etc. When I got home that night, I decided instead to fight those ideas. I was doing what I loved. I was making a significant contribution, because my perspective and calm in the face of wacky filming situations was helping everyone. I could see my management skills and organizational ability were raising the bar in a lot of ways. These things were valuable and showed dexterity and vigor. I was mentally alert and engaged every second of those eighteen-hour days.

On the other hand, the kids on the set were popping caffeine gum and chugging Red Bull, and still showing signs of intense exhaustion. I would hide myself away somewhere for a twenty-minute nap in the afternoon—sometimes right on the set of a bedroom!—and be refreshed and ready to go. I was defying any limitations of age in many ways.

So, there was no reason my shoulder had to be subject to any limiting law. I had all the energy and flexibility and strength needed, because I was there out of love. There could be no ill effects from my participation on any level. My being there was a blessing to cast, crew, and production staff, and to myself. I was learning a ton about filming, which was my goal, so I had the active curiosity of youth coupled with the processing expertise of experience. Really, I only had assets. There were no frailties or liabilities.

Well, I jumped back in the next day and kept on. The shoulder twinged now and then, but I told it to pipe down. I made it through that three-week shoot at the top of my game. I'm eager to do it again when the opportunity presents itself.

Lately I had occasion to answer the question, "How is Mary Baker Eddy a role model for you?" And it occurred to me that she starting writing Science and Health at the same age as I am now. Life over? Not a chance! It's just starting!

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Part VIII: What you can do

(eighth and final installment of talk entitled, "How being yourself guarantees infinite supply")

There are some specific things you can consider as you move ahead toward full-tilt abundance. [Some of this is more written out in full here than I had time for in the presentation.]

Enrich your purchases

When you purchase an item, be it a work of art, an appliance, computer equipment, a car, or even something small, you are saying "thank you" with your dollars. In fact, you are saying, "I love you." What if you therefore only buy those things you are truly delighted with, that make you grateful they are in your lives?

For example, food. Perhaps buy higher quality food that you love rather than cheap junk that is ultimately unhealthy. Don't spend that three bucks on an impulsive appetite urge; think about whether you really love what you're eating before you pay for it or put it in your mouth.

Lately I've taken to doing this when contemplating snack food. I'll be on the road, and a twinge of hunger will come on. I'll know there's a fast food drive-thru on my way. I'll allow myself to savor the idea of French fries, remembering their crispy texture and the salt. Then, I'll take a moment to remember what they're fried in and how they're manufactured somewhere, frozen, soaked in grease, then delivered to me as instant gratification. I'll think about the dollar I could spend on something else of lasting benefit. And I'll find myself driving by the drive-thru without stopping.

It's about purchasing according to our values. In this way, we endow our money with spiritual power.

I love what Wes said yesterday about the Bible being centered on the Love Ethic. We can apply that ethic even to what we purchase. Think about it. What if we only bought those things that truly express the love we feel? That truly delight us and we appreciate fully?

I'm currently writing a book of fiction about Julius Caesar, so I've been spending a lot of time mentally in ancient Rome. Recently, at the mall, I was in a jewelry store that had these beautiful Roman glass rings and earrings. As I looked at the pieces, I felt connected with Rome in a tangible way. These sparkling little chips of glass were 2,000 years old, from the Roman glass factories in the Middle East. So, I bought myself some. They were pricier than any jewelry that I've ever bought for myself, but I know I will treasure them for a lifetime. I'm wearing them now, look. I am clothing myself with what I love.

Divesting

The flip side of enriched purchases is to get rid of old things that no longer express who you are today. I did this recently when I moved. I didn't move anything to the new house that wasn't reflective of who I am today and is in alignment with my values. I made it so that everything in the new house had specific meaning for me. I'm surrounding myself with meaning.

Add value; invest in good

If the love of money is the root of all evil, then loving with money could be the salvation of the world.

You can maximize each purchase to create a sense of wealth in your life, by loving the craftsmanship or the design or the functionality of the item consciously, rather than just grabbing the first or cheapest version of whatever it is you fancy you need.

How do you grow wealth? By taking the wealth you have and investing it in things that add value. Make it a point to add value with everything you do, and you will always be wealthy.

Let's follow the money, shall we? Let's say you're an interior designer. You go to a paint store and buy some paint. You take it to a client's house, and you recommend how to put it up on the walls. You've added value. The client pays you for that added value. It's not just the cost of the paint, but the ideas. This is how economic growth happens. People add value where it did not exist before.

Once you achieve a certain level of expertise in your field, you know without any question that you will be able to add value to anything you work on. I know that for any piece of paper someone shows me with words on it, I will be able to add value. That's just a skill I have as an editor. Once you are able to add value, the Divine will match you up with those who need that value, even as you are matched up with those who bring value to you. This is a holy transaction that is entirely governed by Mind.

A word about comparisons and jealousy—recognize this and thwart it. When you see someone with something you value but don't yet have, rejoice that they've manifested it in their lives and see it as an indication that you can—and do—too.

Freedom from debt; the larger economy

Something else to think about is working to become free from debt if you're not already. I just did this myself, and not necessarily for monetary reasons—I wanted to be more flexible. But listen to this quote from Fareed Zakaria of Newsweek: "Since the 1980s, Americans have consumed more than they produced—and they have made up the difference by borrowing."

I'd never looked at debt that way before. Sure, I was borrowing more than I owned due to my mortgage and car payment, but I hadn't thought of is as consuming more than I produced. I was giving my children a nicer home than I could actually afford to buy with cash, so what's wrong with that? But isn't a huge mortgage just another way to look at renting? I had a prime loan, but in the end I was more or less renting the house I "owned" from the bank rather than a landlord, which also meant I was responsible for upkeep, insurance, taxes, etc. In the end, it cost me way more than it would have if I'd been renting all that time. I could have rented as nice a house and not had to deal with all the ancillary expenses. I *was* renting as nice a house before I bought the one I "owned." Silly me!

Now, I am free from debt. I am renting a house, I just bought a cheap but reliable car with cash I had saved, and I have no consumer debt. My income, too, has increased over the last year. Suddenly, I'm very liquid and flexible—nice spiritual qualities, wouldn't you say? I can also save money for the first time in many years, so at last I can plan for retirement. I don't feel trapped by financial decisions I made that were beyond my means, and I'm free to move as I like. This is a good, abundant feeling.

Everyone's financial situation is different, so don't take me too literally here. You've got to do what feels right and appropriate for you and your families. What's important is to craft a situation for yourself that maximizes where you are in your demonstration right now, and doesn't load you down with obligations that deplete you.

I've come to believe that supposed growth that is based on borrowing is not adding value; it's just spreading around what is already there, or banking on what might be there in the future. But it's not based on solid fact.

Going back to what we discussed earlier, I feel that today's economic situation is part of that belief in death. Global warming is, too. It's the fear that we're on the road to destruction. But man always survives. That's what the Noah and the ark story is all about.

Kerry gave us a thorough treatment yesterday about the market situation. I loved what he said about the mustard seed not staying a seed. Our faith that might start out small will grow and grow into a tree that can house all the birds. This is real value, and we can count on it.

Thank you again for having me here today. It's been such a privilege. To summarize, know God, be obedient, be yourself, and let it flow. Please, please be yourself. Being yourself makes my world better.

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Part VII: Let It Flow

(seventh installment of talk entitled, "How being yourself guarantees infinite supply")

I've taken a long time to build the case for knowing God, being obedient, and being yourself, yet I haven't quite covered how this is a guarantee of non-stop supply.

A concept I picked up from some books I've edited on spirituality is the idea that if you're truly being yourself, infinite supply is assured because you have no competition. Only you can fully and completely be yourself. Divine Spirit needs you to do this, and there's no competition for that spot, so Spirit must be on your side and devoting resources to both keeping you viable and ensuring your long-term success.

Something to remember is that God doesn't give us anything. Think about it. He's already created us complete. There's nothing else He is required to give us. Our experience of new or additional good is our own increased understanding, nothing more. God isn't sending stuff to us that He forgot to send before. The minute you understand that you have something, you have it.

Hugh talked about this yesterday, and I loved the way he put it. None of us are "unwedded." We are all the Bride and the Bridegroom, and the wedding feast is upon us. There is no delay, no waiting. We just need to know who we are.

This yourself I'm talking about is a discovery. We don't know the totality of who we are at the get go. So let me just recap a little. First, we must lay that foundation of who God is, and then see ourselves as individual emanations from that God. If we don't start with God, we might believe it's actually a part of us to be cranky or tired or impatient. Being ourselves then might just be a rehearsal of faults rather than a constant discovery of the true nature of our identity as God's image and likeness. So I want to emphasize that the ongoing revelation of who God is is of paramount importance in this journey of self-actualization. We have no selfhood apart from God, yet that selfhood is individual, unique and singularly us. But we have to know God first, in order to know ourselves.

Yet we don't have to know everything about God and ourselves before we begin to experience abundance. Obedience to the Divine that leads to self-discovery is the job He wants us to do, and He compensates us as we go along.

We've all heard of the analogy of ourselves as a beam of light coming from the sun. Draw that now on your paper. A big circle, with beams of light coming out of it. [We all did this.] Think of your present sense of self as the end point of one of those beams.

Have you ever thought about the energy behind that beam? The trail of light? The direct link back to the Source? What happens if you try to be at someone else's end point? You like their job or their house or their body. So you try to be them. You think they're better than you for some reason. Maybe you're just trying to live their values, perhaps, out of respect or admiration. But they're not your values. What happens? You are attempting to graft yourself onto someone else's end point. You cut yourself off from your own source of energy.

How do you know when you're on the beam, so to speak? You've got a book that can help you.

It's a book about me

I've read Science and Health my whole life. It's always helped me through every tough situation, and it's encouraged me in the good times as well. I've thought of it as a book about Christian Science. More lately however, I've started to see it as a book about me.

Check this out:

We should examine ourselves and learn what is the affection and purpose of the heart, for in this way only can we learn what we honestly are. (p. 8)

That in a nutshell is what my journey is all about these days. What is the affection and purpose of my heart? Isn't that another way of asking what my values are? Who am I really? And there's Mary Baker Eddy, telling me it's okay to explore these things and figure it out. In fact, she says I "should" do this self-examination. It's not self-indulgence, it's essential to the spiritual journey. Let me read that passage again.

We should examine ourselves and learn what is the affection and purpose of the heart, for in this way only can we learn what we honestly are.

What she says makes sense, and I could have figured this out for myself. But I'm one who has always needed a light to guide me, and Science and Health has always been that light. Sometimes I resist turning the light on because somehow I get the weird idea that I won't like what I see. But when I finally crack open that book one more time, I find only encouragement and love.

It's like talking with a best friend who knows you better than anyone else ever has or will. How great that MBE took the time to write a book about me, so many years ago!

I think she wrote it about you, too. Take a look and see, let me know what you find.

"...enlarged individuality..."

In particular, the Creation chapter to me has a startling focus on identity. I was struck in a recent read through by how frequently in this fourteen-page chapter Mary Baker Eddy was led to clarify who we are—our identity.

Infinite Mind is the creator, and creation is the infinite image or idea emanating from this Mind. (p. 256)

Man is more than a material form with a mind inside, which must escape from its environments in order to be immortal. Man reflects infinity, and this reflection is the true idea of God. God expresses in man the infinite idea forever developing itself, broadening and rising higher and higher from a boundless basis. (p. 258)

Man is not absorbed in Deity, and man cannot lose his individuality, for he reflects eternal Life; nor is he an isolated, solitary idea, for he represents infinite Mind, the sum of all substance. (p. 259)

Science reveals the possibility of achieving all good, and sets mortals at work to discover what God has already done; but distrust of one's ability to gain the goodness desired and to bring out better and higher results, often hampers the trial of one's wings and ensures failure at the outset. (p. 260)

Breaking away from the mutations of time and sense, you will neither lose the solid objects and ends of life nor your own identity. Fixing your gaze on the realities supernal, you will rise to the spiritual consciousness of being, even as the bird which has burst from the egg and preens its wings for a skyward flight. (p. 261)

Mortals must gravitate Godward, their affections and aims grow spiritual, — they must near the broader interpretations of being, and gain some proper sense of the infinite, — in order that sin and mortality may be put off. This scientific sense of being, forsaking matter for Spirit, by no means suggests man's absorption into Deity and the loss of his identity, but confers upon man enlarged individuality, a wider sphere of thought and action, a more expansive love, a higher and more permanent peace. (p. 265)

I love how, in Science, spiritual progress does not lead us to lose our identity, but frees us to express it more expansively. In fact, that's a natural result of true spiritual growth—"enlarged individuality, a wider sphere of thought and action, a more expansive love, a higher and more permanent peace."

Wasn't it Doug yesterday who spoke with such authority about worshipping God? I believe we can only worship God by being ourselves, because that's what He made.
Sign me up!

TOMORROW, final installment: Part VIII: What you can do

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Part VI: Refuting old theology

SPECIAL ELECTION NOTE: Please vote today! Even if your guy or your issue doesn't win, it's still important to know how many *wanted* the vote to go the other way. Each vote matters toward giving us an aggregate picture of who we are as a people. See you at the polls!


Refuting Old Theology
(Sixth installment of talk entitled, "How being yourself guarantees infinite supply." This section of the talk based on some prior blog entries.)


Self expression and divine will

At this point I'd like now to refute some "old theology," if you will. I edit a lot of books for an online self-publishing company. Because of my strong background in the Bible, I've been assigned many of the books by Christian writers.

Many of these authors put forth the concept that one needs to subsume one's own sense of selfhood in order to hear and obey the will of God. Only as we rid ourselves of self do we come close to what Jesus taught us to do.

I found myself at first objecting to this personally, perhaps because of the life coaching I'd been doing. In the coaching, I'm being encouraged to discover more about my authentic self and to listen to it—to get over my fears and limiting beliefs and fully self express.

But beyond that, I'm starting to believe strongly that we need to both discover what God is in His infinitude and greatness and also our own unique reflection of that greatness. We owe it to God, really, since to fully express Him in the way that He has appointed is to do His will.

To say we have no self, then, or that our self is worthless, is to truncate the path of full expression. If this is a systemic policy, where Christians in a particular sect or movement are being discouraged from self discovery, then a whole swath of God's greatness is not being magnified. This is the part I found disturbing. I began to recognize that to think that theories I might find harmless on an individual level—meaning, I'm sure that particular person will find their way eventually—are actually damaging to humanity's progress if imposed on a systemic level. This could even be affecting our GNP, because a whole lot of people are not fulfilling their potential. And this, of course, affects our collective expression of abundance.

Golly, I just want people to find the truth that works best for them, independent of institution or theory or opinion. I want truth to work on the individual consciousness unencumbered. I want self expression to be seen as expressing God, and for those witnessing that self expression to therefore rejoice.

Another piece of old theology I'd just like to blow out of the water is the belief that it's more virtuous to pursue the things that are harder for us than the things that come easily to us.

An example from my own life was the choice to be a stay-at-home-mother. This was over twenty years ago. It was absolutely harder for me to run a home myself than it would have been to have a job and a housekeeper—this is just my temperament. But I had accepted the idea that being a SAHM was better. Everyone and everything around me reinforced the idea that staying home with my baby was the best thing to do and that I would be a substandard mom if I didn't. My own mother loved staying at home and running a house, so maybe I thought that was the only way a mom should be.

But I tell ya, I went nuts. Within a few years, I simply self-destructed, blowing apart both my home and my marriage. Climbing out of that mess, I instead opted for a situation that included full-time work for me and a nanny for the kids. A SAHM friend of mine said at one point, "Maybe some people *should* keep working."

As hard as juggling a job and kids as a single parent might sound, it was easier for me than staying home. And, I think I'm turning out to be a pretty good mom—ask me again in twenty years.

I believe now that doing the thing we love, rather than the thing that's hard, is our mission. There are no extra brownie points waiting for us in heaven because we forced ourselves to do the hard thing. In fact, I think we can tell we're doing what's right for us by how easy it is, not by how hard.

If we bounce out of bed in the morning, energized and eager for the day ahead, chances are we've found the activity that fits us best. If we drag out of bed and find every task irritating, forcing ourselves to do the deed doesn't make us any more virtuous.

Of course, there are things we have a duty to do, but I guess what I'm really advocating today is not to create a life for yourself that is entirely duty or obligation, but is also filled with a good proportion of what you love, of what comes easily to you.

The thing that comes easily to you is most likely the very thing the Divine wants to express through you. Don’t truncate that expression with a false sense of obligation or a misguided attempt to be virtuous. The Divine needs you to do what you love.

Jesus was himself

We have a great example of this in Jesus. We tend to think about Jesus as being all brave and extraordinary, and he was. But what about from his perspective? What if he were just being himself? There was no other thing he could do. He knew it was most important to be true to himself.

Some months ago, in reading through the chapter "Atonement and Eucharist" in Science and Health, which of course is about Jesus the man and what he did for us, and, I brought my questions about self-discovery to the reading. That's when it occurred to me: Jesus was always himself.

Here are some of MBE's insights from the chapter [not all these were shared at the conference, but I've included them here]:

Jesus acted boldly, against the accredited evidence of the senses, against Pharisaical creeds and practices, and he refuted all opponents with his healing power. (p. 18)

The Master forbore not to speak the whole truth, declaring precisely what would destroy sickness, sin, and death, although his teaching set households at variance, and brought to material beliefs not peace, but a sword. (p. 19)

He rendered "unto Caesar the things which are Caesar's; and unto God the things that are God's." He at last paid no homage to forms of doctrine or to theories of man, but acted and spake as he was moved, not by spirits but by Spirit. (p. 20)

"Despised and rejected of men," returning blessing for cursing, he taught mortals the opposite of themselves, even the nature of God; and when error felt the power of Truth, the scourge and the cross awaited the great Teacher. Yet he swerved not, well knowing that to obey the divine order and trust God, saves retracing and traversing anew the path from sin to holiness. (p. 20)

Neither the origin, the character, nor the work of Jesus was generally understood. Not a single component part of his nature did the material world measure aright. (p. 28)

Divine Truth, Life, and Love gave Jesus authority over sin, sickness, and death. His mission was to reveal the Science of celestial being, to prove what God is and what He does for man. (p. 26)

What I'm appreciating these days is that Jesus had a mission of his own to complete, and he did it. Unflinching, he faced what he needed to do. Because of what he did, I don't have to do it. I have a mission of my own that I need to complete as fully as he did.

This to me is becoming one way that I can emulate him. As a Christian, I'm committed to following Jesus and his teachings, to learning as much as I can about healing, to living the spiritual lessons he taught us. In addition to this, I can follow his example by discovering and then expressing the unique nature I've been given.

The Creator created only one Jesus. The Creator created only one me. Jesus did his job; I must also do mine.


TOMORROW: Part VII: Let It Flow

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Part V: Be Yourself

(fifth installment of talk entitled, "How being yourself guarantees infinite supply")

The "being yourself" part of this crystallized for me about a year ago when I began working with a life coach friend of mine. I had met her through the business networking group, and we'd become close. She needed some writing done, so we agreed to trade services for a while. It was one of the best damn things I've ever done.

She started me off with an exercise about values that blew my mind. It was a simple question, really. "What are your values?" Maybe you can relate to what immediately jumped into my mind. "Well, I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't take any medicine…" The only way I knew how to answer that question was to parrot what I'd been told my whole life by other people! Not that those things were wrong. They just weren't all I am. She stopped me right there. Were those my values? Sure, I do embrace and practice them, but were they all I am? Not really!

So she gave me some examples. A value might be loving to be outdoors, or traveling, or reading, or helping others. She made me focus on my values, which I was discovering for the first time at forty-five years old.

Turns out I value having one's voice be heard. I value creativity and expression. I value self-awareness. I value harmony within the home and accomplishment outside it.

I have values that are just me, mine. I can live according to these values in a much more directed and specific way. None of these values are inconsistent with my spiritual path, which is Christian Science. They are, however, highly individual and specific to me.

So take a moment now. Do this for yourself. Write down five to ten things that you value. Things that make you hum. Things you're passionate about. Write at the top, "I value:" and then list five things.

[They took some time to do this.]

Telling my values to my coach was hugely profound for me. I had to speak my truth out loud, to someone else, to a witness. Just doing that made them so much more real to me. And her objective validation of these values left me breathless with wonder.

So let's do that now. We're going to make those values you've just written down that much more concrete by speaking them out loud to someone else. Turn to a person near you, and share those values with him or her.

[They shared their values with each other. The room got very energized!]

Wow, the energy in this room just went through the roof! Did you feel that same sense of self-discovery that I felt? I tell you, at first this was so heady I had to wrestle with whether it was sinful or not. Was I allowed to spend this much time on myself?

When I talked with God about following my internal values, rather than limiting myself to the external values I'd been taught, I got a startling answer. I asked Him, What’s right to do? What would be wrong? What do You want me to do?

And I heard back, in the gentlest sigh of support, Laura, just be yourself.

I felt a cool wash of relief bathe over me at this. I can do that? I thought. That’s all right with You?

That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you, He replied. Just be yourself and all the rest will follow.

Still, I questioned. God was patient. I felt the next message come somewhat in this form:
Laura, you've spent your entire spiritual career finding out about Me. You've done a good job, you've served Me and gotten to know Me. You've built a strong foundation of understanding. Now it's time to find out about My creation. Now it's time to find out about you.

I can't quite describe how profound this sense of spiritual "permission" has been. I feel both mature and tested, and new and reborn. And I have this adventure ahead of me, partnering with the Divine to have my own genuine nature revealed.

It seems to me that much of my energy in the past has been spent trying to be good or successful or righteous, but I’ve never focused on just being myself. Now, I can feel a budding understanding of how effortless being myself will be, and therefore my energy can be spent on living my values.

Hear this from The First Church of Christ, Scientist, and Miscellany,

He who gains self-knowledge, self-control, and the kingdom of heaven within himself, within his own consciousness, is saved through Christ, Truth.

Our authentic self

So how can you discern your authentic self? Sometimes we have so much of an overlay we forget or never knew who we are. Here are some questions you can ask yourself:

• What do people compliment you on?
• Are you ever surprised that the compliment comes for something that's easy for you?
• When were you passionate and absorbed?
• What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail?
• What would you do if there were no fear?

What is our authentic self? It's the only part of our being that will last. Truth always encompasses life, perfection, grace, intelligence, sinlessness, health, energy. Within that, Truth is expressed in infinite ways, by all of us. The truth of our being is all good and eternal.

Lies about our being are "here today, gone tomorrow." The lies can take many forms, not just the more blatant evil ones. They are not always conscious. For example, we may alter how we express our individuality because of wanting to please other people or to fit in. In my life, anyway, that always catches up with me, and I have some sort of burst of self-expression that isn't always graceful but does propel me forward. My true nature must be expressed.

And, it's not black or white. We're expressing the totality of the Divine, after all. Collectively, we are the complete expression. Individually, this can take an infinite variety of forms. It's all good. But, when we try to express someone else's good and not our own, even though it's still good for them or objectively good, it may be a lie about who we are right now. It takes some courage to stick to our own expression in the face of possible misunderstanding or disapproval. Trying to squelch ourselves into a misshapen form can take a lot of energy, as well, that would be better spent expressing our own goodness freely. I don't need to tell that to this crowd, do I?

It means a lot to me to remember that God likes my authentic self. After all, He made it. He likes what He made. What He made is the image of Himself. When I try to please other people or I make decisions based on what I believe others will think, I often squelch in the process what I'm hearing from the Divine. When I remember instead that I only need to please God, it's like my whole world opens up. I am joyous and inquisitive and energized and fearless.

This next is from one of my blog entries, called "God is Like."

God is Like

You know that feeling of loving someone intensely but not necessarily liking them all the time? I used to think God was like that.

You know, the feeling that He loves me because He *has* to, because God is Love, so what else can He do? The same as the way parents have to love their kids, it’s just required. But as for liking me, well, I figured if He really knew me, He wouldn’t like me that much. So there were times I avoided eye contact and figured it was best if He just loved me from a distance.

God didn’t leave it there, though. He really is like the father in the prodigal son story, who comes running out to meet his returning son. God came to get me, to let me know how He really feels about me.

It was a time when I wrestled with depression about how my life was going. I’d experienced rejection in a relationship and was weighed down under it. Yet as I prayed I came across this passage from the Bible:

the Lord's portion is his people; Jacob is the lot of his inheritance. He found him in a desert land, and in the waste howling wilderness; he led him about, he instructed him, he kept him as the apple of his eye. As an eagle stirreth up her nest, fluttereth over her young, spreadeth abroad her wings, taketh them, beareth them on her wings: So the Lord alone did lead him, and there was no strange god with him.
--Deuteronomy

The “apple of his eye” phrase glowed to me that day. What does it mean to be the apple of someone’s eye? To me, it means I am special to God, that when I walk into a room His delighted attention is immediately drawn to me, that I interest and even entrance Him, that whatever I’m up to has His full and complete approval.

In short, He likes me.

This insight had profound impact. If He likes me, then heck, I can call Him any time. I can bring Him my thorniest problems and He’ll drop everything to help. For a moment, I felt like the kid up at the top of the jungle gym, who looks over at his parents to see them smiling and waving. God was waving at me, grinning from ear to ear, happy I exist--seeing all that I am and being delighted with me.

I loved that feeling. The glow of approval and genuine interest healed me that day of my depression. I moved through that day with a spring in my step and a buoyant heart.

I still turn to that feeling now and then when feeling low. And there God is, smiling and waving.

With this new "orientation," if you will, toward myself as God's idea, I found things opening up in entirely new ways. Once I knew my own values, I could make choices for those things that energized me as opposed to feeling obligated to keep doing those things which depleted me.

For example, as a new freelancer, I had one assignment to do every week that at first met a need very specifically. But over time, as my interests and values shifted and I matured in my business, this task became increasingly arduous. I dreaded doing it each week, and it got harder and harder. However, I worried about losing the regular income from this task—it was about a sixth of my total monthly income.

My coach had told me, though, of the principle that one way to achieve balance was to start saying no to things that deplete you. It's interesting, isn't it, that sometimes making money can deplete you even when it's pretending to be meeting your needs? Making money just for money's sake can actually make you poorer because not only are you being depleted spiritually by the task itself, it's also taking time away from what you could be doing to enrich yourself both spiritually and financially. As Tom told us yesterday, money can sometimes be actually worthless. It could represent actual enrichment, or it can be soul-less. Make sure every dollar you earn is filled with Soul.

So I took the plunge with this one thing. On the year anniversary of doing this assignment every week without fail, even on holidays, I asked for a raise. That clarified things very quickly! My client was not receptive to this idea, and I soon was no longer doing that assignment.

But here's the interesting thing. That income was more than made up almost instantly by another regular assignment that was much more in line with my values—an activity that energized me rather than depleted me.

The more I winnowed out the activities that depleted me and the more I exclusively did those things that energized me, the more my income increased. It was like day following night. The income increase has allowed me to begin to dare to follow my lifelong dream of having a career in film. I was able to take three weeks this summer to work on a feature film shooting in Massachusetts, and I'm writing screenplays again. I don't know where that's going exactly, but as long as I can keep moving in that direction, I feel blessed. And wealthy.

I'm convinced now that this is a spiritual law. Doing what energizes you and being yourself means you're filling your unique niche in creation and are abundantly sustained while doing so.

TOMORROW: Part VI: Refuting Some Old Theology

Your ideas and inspiration are welcome! Please comment below or submit a question.
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A brief political aside

As a little break from the talk blog entries, I wanted to post this exchange I had yesterday with a blog reader. It's related to the election, so now's the time to discuss. I hope everyone will weigh in with comments! This is a "reasoning together" blog, after all. (But, as always, be sure to keep the commentary respectful.)

With one of the Presidential candidates so openly pro-abortion, should those of us who know that God is the indestructable life of all consider that to be an important issue when we make our choice ?

I value your insight on these serious questions.

Thanks,
_____

Hi, ____! I'm glad you wrote.

I don't know that any candidate is "pro-abortion," although some might be "pro-choice." No one I know is pro-abortion -- that would mean they actively seek to talk people into having abortions even if they don’t want them. To me, abortion is the unfortunate symptom of a much larger problem, that of unwanted pregnancies. To me, the real shame is that pregnancies occur when they are unwanted. This is on the human scene, of course. Every individual is wanted, in fact created, by God.

I myself chose to have the child when I became pregnant out of wedlock, but I don't think I can tell other women what to do in that circumstance. I was enormously fortunate in that I already had a college degree and was in my late twenties. And it has been plenty hard for me to raise this child by myself. For women without my advantages, having and raising a child might be too crushing for them to face. I cannot make that decision for them, nor do I want the government to make that decision for them.

What I'm most wanting from our leaders is a demonstrated caring for children from delivery onward, through childhood, with strong education and equal opportunities even for those who are not of the majority or who come from disadvantaged circumstances. To be honest, I think that's a bigger issue than abortion. There are so many children doing without in our country. I support the candidates who are committed to doing something about that. If our society could show a deeper commitment to the children we already have, it might make the choice to have a child easier on women, since they would be more assured that their child would have a good life.

But that's just me. People of goodwill will disagree with me, and I can respect that.

Please feel free to comment directly on my blog if you like, I'm sure others will respond! Or, I could share this entire exchange on there (while keeping you anonymous), just to see what people say. Would that be okay with you?

Warmly,
Laura

Laura,

Thank you for your well written, thought out response. However, I still think it makes too much of a case for abdication of responsibility for the "least among us."

I am a 67 year old woman in rather good health, caring for a 75 year old husband with many health problems. Would I get a pass if I just stop giving him food and drink because some days I would rather do other things? More "important" things? I think the solutions to the challenges we face MUST always include everyone in the equation. Isn't it a very slippery slope if we don't? Is it an individual choice to obey traffic lights?

Please do feel free to open this up for a huge discussion.

So… Thoughts?

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