The should/shouldn't mentality

The other night I braved the snow to go contra dancing—a real blast, if you've never tried it. It's a great aerobic workout, so fits nicely into my plan to lose a few pounds.

I had a great time, and stayed until almost the end at 10:30. On my way back to the car, I took the shortcut at a small hill through some trees that I'd taken on the way in. It was covered with snow that others had already packed down, so I thought to myself briefly, That might be icy, just before vrrrrrp taking a spill flat on my back. Thank goodness for my padded winter coat.

I wasn't harmed at all, but I did worry about the next person who would walk that way. At that moment, two gentlemen from the dance came out of the building. I called to them, saying I'd just fallen down and could they help me think of some way to warn others?

Their response surprised me, to say the least. They did not ask me if I were okay. One gentleman said almost gleefully, "Yes, the ticket taker tonight cracked her rib last week on that very spot," and the other said, "People shouldn't go that way, they should only walk on the sidewalk."

"Yes," I said, "but people will walk this way to get to their cars. How can we let them know it's icy?"

"They're not supposed to park over there. They should know to only use the sidewalk."

"Maybe they will have heard about the cracked rib. Maybe you could talk to her about it."

The two of them then simply kept walking. Huh, I thought. I went inside to talk with the injured ticket lady, who suggested I tell the dance caller to make an announcement warning people, which I did. I then headed back to my car, still walking through the trees but at a place that was less slick.

This has stayed with me since then as I've tried to noodle out what was wrong with that picture. And I guess I've concluded that being mired in should/shouldn't thinking to the point that you don't feel responsible for warning people when the way ahead is treacherous doesn't do anyone any good and might even be the cause of harm.

This to me has a spiritual applicability. If we know, for example, that sleeping with your boss or dabbling in cocaine is treacherous, yet we don't speak up when our friend is about to do it, it could be that we share some of the spiritual burden of the result. If we sit by, self-satisfied that we would never do such a thing, as a young person risks their future with an unwise decision or a colleague tries something unethical, we lose some of the moral high ground by not caring enough to help.

I've done this myself, actually. I've noticed on occasion when someone is about to do something stupid, and I've thought, Well, they'll learn from that, won't they? Sometimes, yes, they do need to learn from it. Often they won't perhaps listen to my warning. And I have to be extra careful not to sound judgmental when giving that warning, but to load it with all the respect and love I can muster. But if I do and say nothing, I'm not really being a friend to them. And what a failing it is to feel self-satisfied when my inner prediction of disaster comes true.

Saying something, and making that something filled with love, can at least let the person know you care and that you're there for them if things should go awry. And perhaps you're the only one on the spot who can see the way. If so, you're the guide appointed by the Divine to make a difference. Don’t let the "should/shouldn't" mentality get in your way.

Who is telling mankind of the foe in ambush? Is the informer one who sees the foe? If so, listen and be wise. Escape from evil, and designate those as unfaithful stewards who have seen the danger and yet have given no warning. --Science and Health

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Raising a son to be a man

Here's a new version of an article I wrote some time ago but recently stumbled on at Linkup-parents.com after googling myself (always a fun time sink!). So I wanted to be sure you all heard the story.

---------------------------------

My son just came out different. My daughter, that sweet little girl who made every plaything a companion and sat quietly studying catalog pictures for hours, was my first child, and I have to say I got used to her. When she was 4 ½, Chris came along. Suddenly every object had projectile potential and even those toys with recognizable humanoid features turned into vehicles or weapons.

Initially, I was somewhat at a loss. I'm single, so it has fallen on me to nurture and encourage Chris not only as a person, but as a man. However, qualities I respect in the men I admire—honesty, nobility, heroism—simply translate differently in the male universe, and I didn't quite speak the language.

One thing I didn't do, though, was wonder if Chris actually had those qualities. I was sure he did—not out of maternal pride, but from a spiritual conviction that everyone shares equally in qualities that are good since the divine source of these qualities is universal and omnipresent. My job as "mother" would be to cultivate the expression of these qualities in my son. But, I wasn't always getting it right.

A guy friend, perhaps out of frustration over my lack of male-awareness, recommended a book to me—John Gray's Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus—when Chris was about three.

Gray's book gave me a whole new perspective on something I'd been taught in my youth—the Golden Rule, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." My problem had been taking this rule to mean, "Do what you like/want for others and they will do what you like/want for you." Not surprisingly, this led me to many missteps, especially with men. For example, I like to be comforted when I'm upset, so I would try to comfort guys when they were upset, even when they said they wanted to be alone. Imagine my surprise when my comforting mostly just irritated them.

Reading Gray's book made me realize that to truly obey the Golden Rule, I had to see beyond my own literal wants. I had to learn enough about other people to treat them as they wanted to be treated. The insights into maleness from Gray's book hugely improved every guy-friendship I had. One friend noticed my behavior changing toward him so rapidly that he said it was like night and day—and we began to have a lot more fun together. It helped at work, it helped with my friends—and it helped me with my son.

Take shoes, for example. With my daughter, it was natural for me to say, "D'ya need some help, honey?" every time I saw her struggling to get those Velcro straps just right. She always accepted my help, and it made her feel loved.

Chris, however, would resist. "No!" he'd snap. "I can do it myself!" He'd actually get irritated, even at the age of three. Gray's book gave me some insight into the male need for accomplishment and trust. So, I started something new. When the shoes were causing trouble and he'd get frustrated, I'd simply say, "You can do it, keep trying." That little drop of encouragement would be enough for him to regroup and succeed.

I began to appreciate more the role I have as Chris's mother, even (or maybe, especially) when he was so young. That scary sentence from Science and Health became easier to understand: "A mother is the greatest educator for or against crime." At first, this had seemed like an enormous responsibility because I thought I was going to have to come up with some kind of lesson plan against crime. But the same book also says, "Spirit, God, gathers unformed thoughts into their proper channels, and unfolds these thoughts, even as He opens the petals of a holy purpose in order that the purpose may appear." With Spirit governing the process, it turns out that educational opportunities arise naturally, and with the right basis for response you can take advantage of them as they occur.

Once when Chris was about five, we were in the dressing rooms after a day at the beach. Since Chris was so young, he was there with all us girls. The old-fashioned bathroom stalls had complicated latches, sides that went all the way to the floor, and only a few inches of open space under the door.

An eight-year-old girl was changing in a stall, and when she tried to come out, she couldn't work the latch. She was too big to fit under the door. She began to wail, and her mother began to panic. "We'll get you out! Someone call a custodian!"

As the only man on the scene, Chris dropped what he was doing and sized up the situation (remember he's only five). I knew he'd figured out those latches as soon as we'd walked in, so when he looked at me, I nodded the go ahead.

In a trice, he wiggled through the crawlspace under the door, unhooked the latch, and set the girl free. I'll never forget the look on his face when he emerged, triumphant, from saving the damsel in distress. All the qualities of heroism, nobility, intelligence—manhood—that I could ever dream of for him were right there, in that moment.

As the girl ran to her own mother for comfort, Chris turned to me for my reaction. And I said with genuine admiration, "Good job! You saved that girl!" The pride and strength on his face when I confirmed his good deed stays with me to this day.

Now, I could have said any number of other things—"Well, that latch wasn't that hard to open," or "That girl was really silly wasn't she?" I could, in fact, have stepped in to solve the problem myself. But because of Gray's book, I was ready to take full advantage of that moment to strengthen my son, and because of Eddy's book, I knew why it was so important to do so.

These moments come up frequently, even as Chris is now navigating the unsettling shoals of adolescence. No matter what, I try to acknowledge and appreciate what I'm seeing in my son, to help him see and understand his own goodness and strength. My dearest wish for him is that he can one day see the manhood in himself that I've been cherishing for years. I know it's in him already.

Man is God's reflection, needing no cultivation, but ever beautiful and complete.

--Science and Health

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Bloggy Monday

(I loved the Oscars! Way to go Scorsese!)

Wanted to point out some blogs on Christian Science you might not have seen yet. Check them out, there's some great stuff in there.

This one is from my longest-time friend, Betsy. Our moms were friends when we were two, and we went to grade school and high school together, roomed together in college, and stood in each other's weddings. Some years later we even worked together in Boston at The Mother Church. Check out her most recent blog entry:

• The Sabbath—a deeper glimpse

Julia has a great entry this week on her blog about healing:

• Sermon on the Mount heals lifelong emotional pain

From First Church of Christ, Scientist, Orinda, California:

• A healing blog with inspiring stories.

And, I'm always a big fan of Kim's, Kate's and Evan's blogs.

Happy Monday, I've now got to go shovel myself out!

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Luke: Telling it like it is (and) Which son are you?

Last night I attended a discussion with fellow church members on the Gospel of Luke, third in our series of reading the gospels together.

What I had noticed most about Luke is how different in tone it is from Matthew and Mark. It seemed tougher, even harsher, about what you need to do to enter the kingdom and what will happen to you if you don't. This falls into line with blogging recently about God's justice and punishment.

Jesus has some very tough words for hypocrites and those who don't get it. I can see where this has come to be thought of as he's actually condemning anyone who doesn't follow his recommendations (non-Christians). But what I think he's really trying to explain is the inevitable suffering being cut off from divine influence engenders. It's not that God will rain destruction down on these folks, it's that their own unenlightened perspective will keep them in their own equivalent of hell. Jesus is just telling it like it is.

We spent a lot of time with the prodigal son story, which only appears in Luke. Putting it in context, this story follows right after the Pharisees blame Jesus for dallying with publicans and sinners, and he chastises them with the lost sheep story. The prodigal son then becomes a follow-on metaphor for the lost sheep.

We looked closely at the younger son, the older son and the father. One of our group had read Return of the Prodigal Son, a work about this parable, and she had lots of insight to share. She mentioned that the greater sin might have been from the older son—that sins that are self-destructive (such as the younger son's "riotous living") are actually not as bad as the self-righteous sin of wanting to damage another (the older son's jealousy).

Yet the father remains the father. He is unchanging unconditional love throughout, patiently meeting his sons' demands without arguing. Someone pointed out that we never find out what happens with the older son after the father's startling statement, "Son, thou are ever with me, and all that I have is thine." If Jesus gave us a happy ending to the story, Luke doesn't record it. The story ends with the father speaking, and it's left to us to decide whether the older son gets it and goes into the party.

And I'm left thinking, sure, the one lost sheep gets found, but how do the 99 other sheep feel about that? Am I truly grateful when a lost soul finds their way, or do I sit self-satisfied in my righteousness that I never was so stupid? Of course, I've been lost on many occasions and have been brought back. But when I'm feeling "right" or "good," do I look down on those who are struggling still? Or even those who also feel "right" or "good," yet their version of these things looks different than mine?

If I'm honest, I have to recognize that I have played the roles of both younger and older son. But I also can see that on occasion, I've emulated most the father. And maybe that's the point of the story, really. Don't stress about which son you are, but try to be more like the father.

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The other secret—gratitude

Rita wrote in on my The Secret entry the other day to remind me that the movie also contained a key spiritual idea:

The message to the movie is so simple. Cultivate gratitude and follow your bliss.

Gratitude is indeed a huge part of the message of the movie. A segment of the film discussed in detail how important it is to be grateful for what we already have. Some of the speakers told of their habit of reviewing their life with gratitude upon waking each morning, or when brushing their teeth.

It's hard to overestimate the power of gratitude. Mary Baker Eddy gives us this well-known equation:

Are we really grateful for the good already received? Then we shall avail ourselves of the blessings we have, and thus be fitted to receive more.

I think of it as an equation, because the math is irrefutable. If grateful, then availing. Through availing, we become fit for more. It's a never-ending spiral of blessing, an illustration of this metaphor from Science and Health: "God expresses in man the infinite idea forever developing itself, broadening and rising higher and higher from a boundless basis."

Thanks, Rita, for that reminder—today I'll be more mindful of gratitude.

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More fun with justice -- human or divine?

Here's some more from Heather (posted in the comments yesterday):

I'm currently reading a book by Thomas Talbott, called 'The Inescapable Love of God,' and he's arguing for a Universalist Christian viewpoint, with firm support from the Bible. He mentions what you mention here -- the verses that say God hated, or showed his wrath -- it was a human way of speaking. I know MBE mentions in Science and Health [p. 349:13], that words are sometimes inefficient, because it's using a material means to describe the spiritual (which is roughly what she says).

What Thomas argues is that God's love can be experienced as severe or wrathful, depending on one's perception. When you love someone, you want them to be perfected. So if your five year old hits another child, there is punishment involved to correct the behavior. Which is exactly what Thomas argues -- God's love appears as wrath to one who is unwilling at that time to relinquish the sinful viewpoint or false self.

So God's love would be experienced as wrath when someone is clinging to the carnal mind, because the carnal mind is incompatible with the true sinless self. And the 'wrath' is necessary in order to show how self-destructive the carnal mind is. And thus, there is no contradiction between love/mercy and justice/wrath. It's the same action; the interpretation depends on one's mental position.

These are interesting points. I would take it one step further, differentiating between spiritual justice and human punishment.

In Christian Science, God is not anthropomorphic, meaning He's not just a bigger version of us. He doesn't personally get involved in perfecting us, because to Him, we're already perfect, in His image. The perfecting process, as Talbott implies, feels like a process only because we're unclear on our own current perfection. God doesn't cause the process or send it. God doesn't devise punishments for us to teach us a lesson. God exists, in His own perfect reality, and draws us to Him through the bond we have to Him as His creation.

When a five-year-old hits another child, the entire event exists only in the mortal concept. As human adults, we put a stop to it because this is the best way to approximate spiritual harmony in this existence. This is "human justice patterning the divine" [Science and Health, p. 542:19-22], but it is not a spot-on reflection of divine justice.

Divine justice requires the child to move beyond the need to hit another, to understand that there is never any need to harm another, to know throughout their being that harmony is the law and they are an expression of that law. This makes it as though the hit never happened.

The one who was hit, as well, needs to learn the spiritual truth that they were never vulnerable to pain or anger and that it indeed never touched them. For this reason, in the spiritual equation, no retribution or payback is required because complete spiritual resolution makes it a literal non-event.

In the human, however, we have devised a legal system that does require individuals who harm another to make up for it somehow. They can't make it like it didn't happen, but they can pay damages or apologize or right the balance, and this we perceive as human justice. It's an approximation of the divine law that destroys the event's effects entirely.

Humanly we try to negate the effects of the event in an attempt to approximate the divine. As we all know, though, this is not a perfect system since often the perpetrators are not willing to make amends, and often the victims continue to feel the effects of the event. This is where spiritual justice and mercy can step in to heal the situation.

To paraphrase Talbott's words in Heather's message: When you love someone *humanly,* you want them to be perfected. When you love someone *spiritually,* you know they are already perfect. God is Spirit and sees us as already done. The law of Love in action spurs us to know this more fully, so we are uncomfortable until we figure it out. This is not God sending punishment, but our own perfect nature insisting on realization.

To me, rather than thinking of God as a judge and jury meting out punishment in an apparently arbitrary fashion (because some people do seem to get away with stuff!), it's more that God is self-existent in His own reality of harmony and we need to see our own alignment with that.

Even as oil rises to the surface when mixed with water, our very natures mandate that we rise through the mortal concept and perceive spiritual reality. Like Heather says, the churning may feel like punishment or wrath while we're sorting things out, but it's really just the refinement of our own self concept. God, unchanging and unchanged, is there, ready to greet us.

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Divine justice

Heather wrote in with this topic:

I was hoping you might write in your blog on the concept of justice, because I'm finding it a little confusing. I know that conservative Christianity looks at Jesus's death as satisfying God's "justice." As in, His need for sin to be punished, and if Jesus wasn't killed, then sin would go unpunished. However, that paints a fearful picture of God, and Paul makes a lot of comments that seems to really enjoy how God's justice works. The Old Testament praised God's justice, in terms of freeing the oppressed and marginalized. Even Jesus made a lot of mentions of God's justice, and I don't see how they'd extol it so much if most of the world will get sent to hell because they don't accept Jesus as a personal Lord and Savior.

So how does the concept of God's justice work in Christian Science?

I'll give a few thoughts here, but please everyone add your own comments. And Heather, feel free to follow up with any other thoughts or questions you might have—I'm not entirely sure that I've addressed below what you're asking! :)

I've always loved the Christian Science approach to justice. It goes hand-in-hand with mercy. This approach can be summed up in these words from Science and Health: "Justice requires reformation of the sinner. Mercy cancels the debt only when justice approves."

My take on this is that God Himself, in His perfection and glory, has no need for sin to be punished because His view is that we are eternally sinless, in His image. The punishment we experience is sin punishing itself, the same way touching a hot stove burns your finger.

The punishment is inherent in the activity and thought processes of sin, and that punishment can be characterized in a general way as lacking a sense of God's holy presence. (Here's another blog entry about sin.) When sin is indulged or desired, we cut ourselves off from experiencing the Divine, which is punishment enough although we might not realize it. In fact, you can define sin as something that blocks or interferes with the understanding of the Divine.

My feeling is that the Old Testament writers, in trying to articulate this spiritual fact, assigned the punishment aspect of sin to God as a way to express their respect for His omnipotence. Perhaps they didn't fully understand that God is entirely Love, so they thought He was actually the source of the punishment. "God's justice" to me is then shorthand for the spiritual fact that sin is incompatible with the Divine, and therefore cannot and does not abide in His presence. This is a good thing, for if sin were allowable, good itself would not be entirely good.

Consequently, sin never goes unpunished. It's simply unavoidable—sin carries within itself the seeds of its own punishment and destruction. Because sin is bad for us, eventually we wake to the damage it's causing and we stop doing it. Sin is thereby destroyed through our non-participation. That's the entirety of the equation. Once sin is destroyed, it requires no other punishment. Here's how Mary Baker Eddy says it in the tenets of Christian Science: "We acknowledge God's forgiveness of sin in the destruction of sin and the spiritual understanding that casts out evil as unreal. But the belief in sin is punished so long as the belief lasts."

So, how does Jesus' crucifixion fit into this? The Bible does state that he died for our sins, and MBE agrees with this in her writings. What she clarifies though is that Jesus' martyrdom was the inevitable result of Truth breaking through to human consciousness, and the baser elements of mortal existence reacting against it. It's the global, entrenched aspects of sin that all humanity struggles with that killed Jesus. "Was it just for Jesus to suffer? No; but it was inevitable, for not otherwise could he show us the way and the power of Truth" (Science and Health).

Jesus' death and resurrection have a higher meaning than the one limited to appreciating him for his martyrdom. His followers are rightly grateful to him for his sacrifice and suffering, but the final message was one of eternal Life. As Christian Science explains, Jesus' body died; Jesus' consciousness did not. His coming back proved to his followers that existence extends beyond the death of the body, and is a point of faith we can learn from today. It was not "just" in the sense of being fair that this marvelous man had to undergo the suffering he did just to show us that. But it was "right" in the sense that we needed to be shown this truth about Life and he was willing to do it.

Personally, I try not to get this mixed up with my own responsibility for my own sins or failings. To me, it would be grossly unappreciative if I felt that Jesus' suffering gave me a "get out of jail free" card such that I didn't then still have to wrestle with and destroy my own sins. I still have to do my own work.

The point of that work is to see more clearly every day my own spiritual perfection as God's image and likeness. At times, through this seeing, the limited sense that includes sinful activity is uplifted and healed. Then the sin drops away naturally. At other times, I get nailed for sin and I suffer. This teaches me the ultimate pointlessness of sin, I stop doing it, and am rewarded with the discovery that I never needed it in the first place. Either way, I inevitably learn who I really am as God's creation—sinless and free.

Okay, I've gone on long enough, even though I feel like I'm just touching the tip of the iceberg. I'd recommend Atonement and Eucharist in Science and Health as an excellent resource for discovering more about the point of Jesus' mission. And any other thoughts you have on this subject, please weigh in!

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The secret

Saw an interesting movie with some friends over the weekend: The Secret, an inspirational movie with a wide cast of new age gurus including:

• John Gray • Loral Langemeier • Bob Proctor • David Schirmer • Marci Shimoff • Neale Donald Walsch • John Assaraf • Jack Canfield • Lisa Nichols • Joe Vitale •

I've been ruminating on the movie's conclusions since, trying to sort out how I feel about the assertions. Basically, the "secret" is the law of attraction—we attract what we think about. For example, if we fill our thought with abundance, we will attract abundance. If we fill our thought with worry about debt, we will attract debt. The "universe," or the energy force that makes things happens, responds obediently to our thoughts and sends us what we seem to be calling for, in whatever direction. The movie maintained that our thoughts send out an energy pulse to the universe no matter what we're thinking about, and the universe reflects whatever that is back to us. So the recommendation is only to think about what we want to happen.

What I'm trying to sort out is whether this is just another way of articulating what I already believe or whether it's actually different. Some parts were genuinely useful, such as the idea that if we dwell on our fears, we will actually experience them more. As Job says, "The thing which I greatly feared has come upon me." I'd translate this to what Christian Science might call "self-malpractice." It was helpful for me to be reminded not to focus on the problem but instead to embrace with joy its opposite. This has worked for me in my life.

But, I guess I'm not sure the universe obeys me. Well, maybe the material universe does. Perhaps what they're tapping into is the concept that the material universe is what we believe it is, and we can shape that universe by altering our beliefs. This I think is self-evidently true, not just on an individual level but collectively.

The movie implied that if you're having a problem of some kind, it's your own fault for creating the problem with your thoughts. This I think is inaccurate. It's not our fault that we were born into this mortal condition. It's our task to rise out of it, but not our fault that we're here in the first place. And that is the sum total of where problems come from. We all have to face the problem of mortal existence and work it out. It is grace and spiritual reality that allows us to overcome any of it, but we all have access to that grace and spiritual reality.

What the movie didn't distinguish was reality from unreality. It spoke of good and bad as both real. Using the power of the human mind to manipulate material existence only works to a certain degree. Certainly people have cultivated this skill, and some have had startling success as far as money or influence. But this is only a fraction of the power available through divine Mind, which is so much more than an energy field or cosmic force. Mind is all, and is only good. Aligning with this Mind allows our desires to be refined and perfected even as they take form "in words and deeds."

So where have I landed? The Secret reveals a useful tool for improving human existence, and it could be stepping stone in the journey to understand that all is infinite Mind and its infinite manifestation. I just want to clarify though, that I don't think the universe The Secret was talking about is God, at least not how I understand Him to be, although they referred to it as such. To me God is that conscious, caring, omniscient Being who knows more about me than I do—infinite Spirit, eternal Love, omnipotent Creator. But can we influence the material universe with our thoughts? Absolutely!

Think about this: If God is infinite Love, then His will for us is abundance and joy. In embracing those concepts and reflecting on them (thinking about them), we mirror them forth and are aligned with divine Mind. And because this Mind is omnipotent, there's no power on earth that can stop it.

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Jesus the brainiac

Talking about that Jesus story yesterday reminded me of how smart I think he was. Jesus is often portrayed as super gentle or sweet or angelic, but in many Bible stories he's also shrewd, sharp, brilliant, insightful.

Some examples:

• Saving the adulterous woman from stoning: "He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her." John 8:1-11
• Outsmarting the priests: "The baptism of John, whence was it? from heaven, or of men?" Matt 21:23-27
  
• Confounding the Pharisees with a little Scripture twisting: "If David then call him Lord, how is he his son?" Matt 22:41-46
  
• Reading the minds of the scribes: "For whether is easier, to say, Thy sins be forgiven thee; or to say, Arise, and walk?" Matt 9:1-8
• Refuting the claim that he worked through Beelzebub: "If a kingdom be divided against itself, that kingdom cannot stand." Mark 3:22-26
• Solving a gnarly political issue of his day: "Render therefore unto Caesar the things which be Caesar's, and unto God the things which be God's." Luke 20:19-26
• Giving the great commandments, and acknowledging a scribe's goodness: "Thou art not far from the kingdom of God. And no man after that durst ask him any question." Mark 12:28-34

A lot of these stories end like that last one—he shut people up so effectively they didn't dare ask him any more questions. He caused consternation and got people thinking.

Jesus was just a really smart guy. He probably could have done anything with his smarts, could have been the Bill Gates of his day, or the Henry Kissinger. Instead he used his native intelligence to reason about the kingdom of God and bring the message of salvation to a starving world.

And, lest we think only Jesus could be that smart, remember Paul's counsel: "Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus." Mary Baker Eddy included this concept in her sixth tenet of Christian Science: "And we solemnly promise to watch, and pray for that Mind to be in us which was also in Christ Jesus; to do unto others as we would have them do unto us; and to be merciful, just, and pure."

There's an expectation here that we have it within us to follow the Master in all his ways, including in the expression of intelligence.

What would Jesus do? Something loving, something righteous—and something smart.

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You can't believe your eyes

Big BFO* yesterday regarding a Bible passage I've read a million times and am just now realizing I never understood.

"Having eyes, see ye not? and having ears, hear ye not?" (Mark). This passage from Jesus occurs in one of my favorite Bible stories. It cracks me up that the disciples think he's chastising them because they forgot the groceries. And he's all, Hello, were you there when I fed the five thousand?

Mark 8:10-21

10 ¶ And straightway he entered into a ship with his disciples, and came into the parts of Dalmanutha.
11 And the Pharisees came forth, and began to question with him, seeking of him a sign from heaven, tempting him.
12 And he sighed deeply in his spirit, and saith, Why doth this generation seek after a sign? verily I say unto you, There shall no sign be given unto this generation.
13 And he left them, and entering into the ship again departed to the other side.
14 ¶ Now the disciples had forgotten to take bread, neither had they in the ship with them more than one loaf.
15 And he charged them, saying, Take heed, beware of the leaven of the Pharisees, and of the leaven of Herod.
16 And they reasoned among themselves, saying, It is because we have no bread.
17 And when Jesus knew it, he saith unto them, Why reason ye, because ye have no bread? perceive ye not yet, neither understand? have ye your heart yet hardened?
18 Having eyes, see ye not? and having ears, hear ye not? and do ye not remember?
19 When I brake the five loaves among five thousand, how many baskets full of fragments took ye up? They say unto him, Twelve.
20 And when the seven among four thousand, how many baskets full of fragments took ye up? And they said, Seven.
21 And he said unto them, How is it that ye do not understand?

Here's what I was reading yesterday that led to the BFO (again, I've read this passage a million times):

Jesus mapped out the path for others. He unveiled the Christ, the spiritual idea of divine Love. To those buried in the belief of sin and self, living only for pleasure or the gratification of the senses, he said in substance: Having eyes ye see not, and having ears ye hear not; lest ye should understand and be converted, and I might heal you. (Science and Health)

I think I'd always read this literally. Like, You've got eyes but you're not seeing. But yesterday for the first time, I read the meaning as more like, Because you're believing what your material eyes are showing you, you're not seeing. Because you're listening to what your material ears are telling you, you're not hearing. Material eyes don't help us see spiritual reality; material ears don't help us listen for what the Divine is telling us.

So perhaps this is "see without the eyes" day, or "listen without the ears." A day to become deaf and blind to the material evidence, and see and hear only Spirit.

That "sounds" like a great day. I can't wait to "see" what will happen!

*Blinding Flash of the Obvious

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My one true Love

As a little Valentine today, I'd like to offer an entry I wrote some time ago:

• Single? Be married now!

Also, below is a retelling of another experience that meant a lot to me (some of this has been taken from a prior entry).

When I was about twelve with womanhood just around the corner, my notion of love comprised the classic Prince Charming scenario. I imagined finding the perfect love, who would be a strong capable guy who knew all about me and would take care of me. I frequently imagined his voice, saying, "I love you, Laura," with such conviction and depth.

I carried this voice with me through years of searching. It comforted me at every breakup, stood by me when others deserted, reassured me when I felt the most unlovable. Yet I could never find the guy himself. I'd start something new, hoping this would be the owner of the voice, yet it would inevitably falter and I'd find myself alone again.

Finally, a particular relationship came to an abrupt end and it was all just too painful. I'd really thought I'd found the guy of my dreams. When it ended, I was distraught.

I lived in SoCal at the time, and I remember sitting near a pier in Marina Del Rey on Saturday morning just after seeing this most recent love-of-my-life. As my tears were streaming down my face, I heard that dang voice again! "I love you, Laura." Said with such tenderness and affection. At that moment, it was completely aggravating. So internally, I shouted at God, Who is that guy? Where will I find him already?

And the answer was this simple: It's Me, Laura. It's always been Me.

I got it! The sun streamed down on me and the grass glowed brilliant green, the water lapped soothingly and I felt Loved. And the realization that I'd always been Loved made me start laughing with delight through my still drying tears.

I've felt Loved ever since. That was indeed the day I found my true Love—the strong capable one who knows all about me and takes care of me.

Happy Valentine's Day.

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Lighten the darkness

Janet posted a question to my Pluralism entry:

I think it is nice to consider people can freely worship God and be religious however if their religion teaches hate of those who don't belong to it this is not acceptable. I have read a translation of the quran that seems to teach hate of those who don't worship God. This is exactly the opposite of love your enemies. How do you deal with that?

I'd love to hear everyone's thoughts on this, so please comment away!

As Janet points out, it's a *translation* of the Quran that says to hate. People have used holy scripture to justify hating throughout the history of humanity. The history of Christianity, as we know, is rife with bloodshed, with the words of Jesus and Paul twisted to manipulate the impressionable to acts of violence, including the invasion of Muslim countries.

I think it's these interpretations of the uninspired or the malevolent that has led to the misuse of scripture to promote hatred. The scripture itself, be it the Bible or the Quran or the Bhagavad Gita or the Tao te Ching, never really seems to say what these misguided leaders say they say. I've even seen the words of Science and Health twisted to justify a human position or policy that it's clear Mary Baker Eddy never intended.

I suppose it's human nature (read: mortal mind) to want to be right even in our prejudices or bigotry. But what inspired teaching or teacher has ever really recommended bigotry or prejudice as the path to enlightenment?

"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you," otherwise known as the Golden Rule or the Ethic of Reciprocity, is found in some form in many of the world's greatest spiritual teachings.

I love the Talmud version: "What is hateful to you, do not do to your fellowman. This is the entire Law; all the rest is commentary."

All the rest is commentary. This is true whenever we take scripture and discuss it. Scripture is available for us to read and comprehend according to our own light, and then apply in our own lives. I believe we each have the right, privilege, and obligation to do this, and we should not be inordinately influenced by the interpretations or conclusions of others, no matter how much stature they have in our particular teaching or movement.

We need to make the teachings our own. We need to go directly to the source material and figure out what it means for ourselves. My belief is that all those who are swayed by the interpretation that the Quran teaches to hate are being influenced by their instructors, who sometimes use their positions of power to "deceive the very elect." But Paul says, "Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap" (Galatians). History has shown that Paul is right.

So to circle back to Janet's question: How do I deal with that? By going back to my beloved scriptures myself, finding my inspiration, and then living it. By being lights ourselves, we can enlighten the darkness for others.

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Fabulous Sabbath

It took almost a year, but I finally had what I consider to be a genuine Sabbath day yesterday. I had vowed to try it last March when I first became inspired about it, but one thing after the other got in the way. I stayed open to it though.

My Sabbath day yesterday went from sun-up to sunset. My bedroom window faces east, and the sun touches my face each morning. Yesterday, I came out of my slumber with an extraordinary spiritual impulse, unbidden but so welcome. My dream state coalesced to a startling inspiration that I needed for a situation I've been praying about. It was, "Spirit is your substance."

Saying it like this doesn't convey the flood of light experiencing this idea brought to me yesterday morning. The idea came from without and within, filling me and radiating from me. I felt such joy at the conviction that Spirit is my substance. I took this and applied it to the situation that needed it, and it fit like a glove. I've seldom be so certain about a spiritual truth.

And that just launched my day. I wanted the entire day to stay in this holy space. First, I hopped out of bed to email the one I'd been praying about. Then I spent time with the Bible and Science and Health, looking up every reference to "substance." I gathered many passages and printed them out for later in-depth study.

At that point, I really wanted to go somewhere to worship. I've never felt that urge before. Church has often been a pleasure, but mostly a duty. Yesterday I yearned for the first time to join with a congregation to worship and contemplate this idea more deeply. You might think then that I went to the church where I'm a member. But somehow this didn't occur to me. I didn't really want to see people I knew, I didn't want to socialize. I wanted the feeling of inspiration to stay clear. So I got myself dressed and drove off to the Quaker meeting up the street.

There, I sat in silence with the congregation before the roaring fire, going deeper and deeper into the contemplation of the idea I'd been gifted with that morning. Spirit is our substance. We are made of Spirit. We are filled with Spirit. Again, it's hard to describe the feeling of inspiration, but it was very meaningful to me.

Unlike the last time I visited the Quaker meeting, this time some of the people spoke. One woman talked about sharing with another what Quaker spirituality is all about, and her own questioning of it. Another spoke of feeling the presence of Love at two events she attended. So my heart began to beat faster and my breath get shallower, because I knew I had to speak as well. I'd been given this gift and I had to share it. So I got up my courage and told how I'd woken up that morning with the inspiration that Spirit is our substance. That's really all I said.

For the last few minutes of the meeting, the children came up and joined us. Squirmy, cheerful little ones filling all the nooks and crannies of the benches between "their" grownups. They knew how to be silent, but not still. It was very sweet. Afterward, of course, everyone greeted me and I made a few new friends.

My Sabbath continued with having lunch with a very good friend who is also spiritually minded. I told her of my experience and we discussed a wide range of spiritual issues over soup and sandwiches.

When I got home, I still had the treat of my conference call Sunday School class that I teach for kids who are too far away from a local Sunday School to attend. That conversation rocked! We got very deep on some important issues, and I felt like I was making sense in a new way on some spiritual concepts. I also told them about my morning, with one of them responding, "Sweet!"

The rest of the afternoon until sunset was devoted to first studying those passages on substance that I'd gathered in the morning and then working on the book I'm writing about spirituality and parenting. As the afternoon darkened, I went back to finishing my laundry.

What I love about that day is I was genuinely focused on God, all day. Every activity, every conversation, was imbued with divine purpose. Fabulous Sabbath—not like I imagined one would be, but so much better.

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No god but God, Part IV—Pluralism

Series: Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV (below)

After immersing in the wide ocean of background presented by Reza Aslan in No god but God, I was ready for his conclusion. The future is pluralism.

Despite the tragedy of September 11 and the subsequent terrorist acts against Western targets throughout the world, despite the clash-of-civilizations mentality that has seized the globe and the clash-of-monotheisms reality underlying it, despite the blatant religious rhetoric throughout the halls of governments, there is one thing that cannot be overemphasized. What is taking place now in the Muslim world is an internal conflict between Muslims, not an external battle between Islam and the West. The West is merely a bystander—an unwary yet complicit casualty of a rivalry that is raging in Islam over who will write the next chapter in its story. … [The] remarkable evolution in Christianity from its inception to its Reformation took fifteen vicious, bloody, and occasionally apocalyptic centuries. Fourteen hundred years of rabid debate over what it means to be a Muslim; of passionate arguments over the interpretation of the Quran and the application if Islamic law; of trying to reconcile a fractured community through appeals to Divine Unity; of tribal feuds, crusades, and world wars—and Islam has finally begun its fifteenth century.

…

Despite what [American] school children read in their history books, the reality is that the separation of "Church and State" is not so much the foundation of American government as it is the result of a two-hundred-fifty-year secularization process based not upon secularism, but on pluralism. It is pluralism, not secularism, that defines democracy.

Columnist Fareed Zakaria writes in Newsweek's The Road to Reformation: "What is currently a war of sects [in Islam] must become a war of ideas. First, Islam must make space for differing views about what makes a good Muslim. Then it will be able to take the next step and accept the diversity among religions, each true in its own way."

Each of us may sincerely believe our own faith tradition or teaching is the ultimate truth. After all, why would we follow it if we didn't? But for a society to function and make progress, we each have to make the choice to respect the sincere beliefs of others.

I believe Christian Science is the truth. But I learned long ago the truth of the words in the Quran: "There can be no compulsion in religion." Forcing anyone to adopt Christian Science, which is essentially an internal practice, would be impossible as well as absurd. Forcing anyone to adopt any belief system is possible only in externals. If they haven't embraced the meaning, it's all for nothing and is merely coercion.

It's been my observation that those in society who do hold to a strong faith or belief or even activism or social awareness, whatever form it takes, and then translate their convictions into action, are the primary contributors to the progress our world is making. It doesn't even really seem to matter what the teaching is—if you let any of the world's great teachings shape you and strengthen you to help others, it blesses the world. I'd rather have a society of sincere religionists of all stripes who are actively working to better the world than a forced, 100% obedience to the teaching I happen to follow.

So this becomes the third plank in my prayer agenda about Islam—that those troubled regions begin to see the value of pluralism and can grow to embrace it.

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No god but god, Part III—Sunni, Shi'ah and Sufi

Series: Part I, Part II, Part III (below), Part IV

We hear a lot in the news about the Sunnis and the Shi'ites fighting, but I was not clear at all on what these different groups represent until reading No god but God.

Here are some very quick definitions from the book:

• Sunni: The main or "orthodox" branch of Islam (with Traditionalist and Rationalist schools of thought)
• Shi'ism: the largest sect of Islam, founded by the followers of Ali (Muhammad's son-in-law)
• Sufism: the name given to the mystical traditions of Islam

A very loose analogy using Judeo-Christian history might be thinking of Sunni as Judaism (revolving around the law and its interpretation), Shi'ism as Catholicism/Protestantism (revolving around the willing self-sacrifice of a martyr), and Sufism as Christian Science (revolving around discovering the spiritual essence of these laws and events). *Very* loose, mind you, so don't take me too literally.

Here is what author Reza Aslan has to say about the three branches:

Re: Sunni
… Islam is primarily a orthopraxic religion, so much so that Wilfred Cantwell Smith has suggested translating the word Sunni as "orthprax" rather than "orthodox." However, because the Ulama [Islam's clerical establishment] have tended to regard Islamic practice as informing Islamic theology, orthopraxy and orthodoxy are intimately bound together in Islam, meaning questions of theology are impossible to separate from questions of law. For this reason, the Ulama often dismissed the practice of pure speculative theology as insignificant babble. What most concerned the Ulama from the first days of the Islamic expansion, especially as the Ummah [the name given to the original Muslim community] became ever more widely dispersed and varied with regard to language and culture, was not so much theological arguments about the attributes of God, but rather the formalization of specific ways to express faith through ritual. Their ultimate objective was to form strict guidelines that would establish exactly who was and who was not a Muslim. The result of their labors became what is now commonly known as the Five Pillars of Islam.

Re: Shi'ah
Karbala [where Husayn, Muhammad's grandson through Ali, was killed in a battle against the ruling Sunni Caliph in 680 C.E.] became Shi'ism's Garden of Eden, with humanity's original sin being not disobedience to God, but unfaithfulness to God's moral principles. Just as the early Christians coped with Jesus' demoralizing death by reinterpreting the Crucifixion as a conscious and eternal decision of self-sacrifice, so also did the Shi'ah claim Husayn's martyrdom to have been both a conscious and an eternal decision. … The Shi'ah noted that Husayn knew he could not defeat the Caliph, yet he deliberately chose to continue to Kufa in order to sacrifice himself for his principles and for all generations to come. … [A]s Shah Abdul Aziz has argued, Husayn's self-sacrifice was in reality the logical end to the story of Abraham's near-sacrifice of his firstborn son, Ismail—the sacrifice was not revoked but postponed until Karbala, when Husayn willingly fulfilled it. The Shi'ah thus regard Husayn's martyrdom as having completed the religion that Abraham initiated and Muhammad revealed to the Arabs.

Re: Sufi
… Sufis consider all orthodoxy, all traditional teachings, the law, theology, and the Five Pillars inadequate for attaining true knowledge of God. Even the Quran, which Sufis respect as the direct speech of God, lacks the capacity to shed light upon God's essence. … According to the Sufis, God's very essence—God's substance—is love. Love is the agent of creation. Sufism does not allow for the concept of creation ex nihilo because, before there was anything, there was love: that is, God loving God's self in a primordial state of unity. It was only when God desired to express this love to an "other" that humanity was created in the image of the Divine. Humanity, then, is God made manifest; it is God objectified through love.

Now, can these three different perspectives exist together in harmony? Despite all the violence today, I believe Muhammad would have thought so, and would have expected them to. Jews, Catholics, Protestants, and many other teachings including Christian Science, have been able to achieve harmonious coexistence in the years since the Reformation (after a period of serious bloodshed, to be sure). For the most part, the Muslims who have emigrated to other countries also live in harmony with their neighbors. So there's really no reason the African and Middle Eastern regions can't also learn to adapt, live, and let live.

That is next on my prayer agenda for Islam (after the first item I mentioned on Monday): that sincere devotees of each form continue to pursue that which is bringing them comfort and enlightenment, while respecting the rights of others to practice in the ways that mean the most to them. They can coexist peacefully; they can learn from each other.

Tomorrow will be my final installment on this series, with Aslan's remarkable assertions about pluralism.

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How my friend saved me from suicide

A friend of mine who's now in college reminded me that suicide remains a problem on many campuses. So I'm taking a break from my No god but God series to give some thoughts on this issue.

I myself seriously thought about suicide once. It's funny looking back, because that's so far from where I am today that it seems like it happened to another person. And perhaps that's truer than it seems—that person in despair was a lie about me, and never was who I really am. Here's the story.

It was over a guy, of course. I fell in love with someone just completely inappropriate in so many ways. But it was in a time of my life when I was hungering for love, and he was more than happy to oblige as long as it didn't ruffle his life any. He spotted my vulnerability a mile off and I think it amused him to have that kind of power over me. But, he was confused as well. We were a priceless pair!

Eventually, the whole thing blew up, involving many other people and becoming excruciating. So much drama. When he had to make a choice, he didn't choose me. And our circle of supposed "friends" didn't let me forget it. I spent a lot of time in tears, figuratively beating my head against the wall in frustration. Nothing relieved the pain.

One night, while driving home after a particularly humiliating evening, I had this powerful urge to wrap my car around a tree. There! That would show them! I'd end it all, and they'd be sorry. It's hard to describe how reasonable this seemed at the time. It made complete logical sense to me. All problems would be solved, the right people would feel bad, and I'd have the last laugh.

Through the fog of this mindset, I got another message: Just go home. Don't worry about it. Get some rest. So that's what I did.

A few days later I spoke with a friend of mine who I hadn't seen in a while (she lived an hour or so away). The last time we had talked, I'd told her about this new love in my life and she'd been adamantly opposed. She could tell it wouldn't end well, but nothing she said made any difference. We didn't talk much after that. Now, she gave me a call to check up on me, and I wound up telling her about the whole situation and the weird suicide thoughts.

She gasped. "I prayed for you!" she said. Apparently on the afternoon of that same day, she had felt a strong impulse to pray. It actually occurred to her that I might be thinking about suicide. So she prayed. She prayed to know that God is always loving and guiding each of His children. She saw me as loved and cared for by God, even though my life had all the signs of self-destruction.

Well, I think that prayer worked. When the moment came, I got the message loud and clear.

This divine involvement in my little sordid affair gave me a renewed sense that maybe I was worth something. Maybe there was hope for me—maybe this wasn't the end of my life but only the beginning. It took some time, but within a couple years, my life showed a complete turnaround.

I think every one of us can have an influence for preventing suicide as my friend did by walking through the world seeing people as God sees them, rather than how they see themselves. Every drop of this hopeful outlook can be a force for good. And it can lead us to the right place at the right time, saying the right thing, being there for someone.

Putting yourself at God's service that way can save lives. I know it, and I'm so grateful my friend did, too.

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No god but God, Part II—Am I religious?

Series: Part I, Part II (below), Part III, Part IV

I learned a new word—orthopraxy.

Religions become institutions when the myths and rituals that once shaped their sacred histories are transformed into authoritative models of orthodoxy (the correct interpretation of myths) and orthopraxy (the correct interpretation of rituals), though one is often emphasized over the other. Christianity may be the supreme example of an "orthodoxic" religion; it is principally one's beliefs—expressed through creed—that make one a faithful Christian. On the opposite end of the spectrum is Judaism, a quintessentially "orthopraxic" religion, where it is principally one's actions—expressed through the Law—that make one an observant Jew. It is not that beliefs are irrelevant in Judaism, or actions unimportant in Christianity. Rather, it is that of the two religions, Judaism places far greater emphasis on orthopraxic behavior than does Christianity. Like Judaism, Islam is primarily an orthopraxic religion …

From No god but God, Reza Aslan

This gave me a whole new perspective on the differences between religions. Somehow I always thought everyone would agree that the point of religion is to engender a spiritual understanding of the Divine. But if most religions fall into one of the two categories—orthdoxic or orthopraxic—there's a lot of religious behavior going on that is unrelated to deepening anyone's spiritual understanding. It would seem that for many, it's fidelity to a creed or a ritual that makes them religious. And to not adhere to a pre-determined creed or follow a set pattern of rituals would make you appear to be non-religious.

You might be saying, Well, d'uh, Laura! This is news to you? And I guess I have to say that yes, it is! Because I actually consider myself religious, even though I don't subscribe to any creed or perform any rituals. The teaching I follow, Christian Science, doesn't really have either one. When the religion itself doesn't include ritual or creed, maybe you can be religious without either orthodoxy or orthopraxy.

My "religion," if you'll allow me that, is new to me every day. I'm discovering it new each time I study it, each time I practice it. My religion includes daily commitment to learning more about and growing closer to the Divine. My religion includes companioning with a community of fellow travelers who are also committed to this exploration of the Divine.

In that sense, I am religious. Perhaps I don't appear that way to others. Yet I think that dedicating yourself to following what a religious leader has revealed can be "the basis of true religion."

The epoch approaches when the understanding of the truth of being will be the basis of true religion. --Science and Health

Part I appeared yesterday.

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Late today!

Terribly sorry to be so late today.... a new entry will be forthcoming soon! If you'd like to be notified whenever I post a new entry, signup for the email reminder in the upper right column.

Back soon, promise!

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No god but God, Part I

Series: Part I (below), Part II, Part III, Part IV

As I've mentioned, lately I've been reading No god but God by Reza Aslan. I finished it over the weekend. What a profitable study. Subtitled "the origins, evolution and future of Islam," this book truly took me on a journey through time, and gave me the building blocks for an increased understanding of Islam. (I'm ashamed to note how little I already knew before reading it, and am grateful for the beginnings of elucidation.) I may devote several blog entries to this important book, and I do recommend it to anyone wanting to expand a sense of fellowship with our Islamic neighbors.

First, the Quran. Here's an illuminating passage:

The Quran, as a holy and revealed scripture, repeatedly reminds Muslims that what they are hearing is not a new message but the "confirmation of previous scriptures" (12:111). In fact, the Quran proposes the unprecedented notion that all revealed scriptures are derived from a single concealed book in heaven called the Umm al-Kitah, or "Mother of Books" (13:9). That means that as far as Muhammad understood, the Torah, the Gospels, and the Quran must be read as a single, cohesive narrative about humanity's relationships to God, in which the prophetic consciousness of one prophet is passed spiritually to the next: from Adam to Muhammad. [Citations are from the Quran.]

I've often felt this about the Bible—that it is a story of the progressive revelation of who God is and how humanity relates to Him. The God described in the early books is about power and oneness and victory, since that's what those people at that time needed to know. Later the Gospels reveal a God of Love, peace, good will, healing. God didn't change; humanity's perception of Him matured.

The Quran, in its original, apparently (according to Aslan) presents what could be considered advances on these ideas as well, with Muhammad's vision of how society could be, the role of women, the sharing of wealth. The fact that his immediate followers could not maintain this society after his exit from this world does not negate the vision itself. Aslan catalogs the various agendas of the men in power at that time, how most had a vested interest in reverting back to how society had been before Muhammad even while continuing to praise his name.

My understanding of this is still simplistic of course. I am saddened that I will never myself be able to read the Quran as a Muslim reads it, since from what Aslan is saying, it is important to be fluent in Arabic and to read it in the original. There has been such a wide diversity in attempts to translate it. The original words have many alternate meanings, so it can be translated in many different ways, from orthodox to liberal, so any given translation will not provide the whole of the meaning.

But we can also learn something from this as Christians. We have the same issues with the Bible, written in an ancient language and transmitted by hand over thousands of years. How can we know for sure the original meaning if we are universally reading it in translated form?

I'm appreciating again Mary Baker Eddy's first tenet of Christian Science:

As adherents of Truth, we take the inspired Word of the Bible as our sufficient guide to eternal Life. --Science and Health

The inspired Word. Aslan's book showed me that we are not alone in seeking the inspired meaning of holy scripture. This is just as important in Islam as it is in Christianity and Judaism. No god but God has given me an several point agenda for prayer for my Islamic brothers and sisters, the first point being supporting an inspired understanding of Muhammad's revelation even as I strive for this myself with Moses and Jesus.

More on this tomorrow.

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