The labyrinth

This past weekend was a spiritual adventure for me. I attended the annual International Spirit at Work Awards at the Garrison Institute in New York. A colleague and I were there representing SpiritOnTheJob.com.

I met some amazing people, experienced some new things spiritually, and enjoyed wonderful warm conversation. I'll be writing in more detail about specifics of the conference in my HerWork blog and on SpOTJ (pronounced spot-jay), so this entry is more about what the time meant to me as an individual.

There were many, many different traditions represented at the conference, so I thought I would investigate one I'd been curious about—the labyrinth. (I'd wanted to try yoga too, for the first time, but the session was cancelled at the last minute.)

The labyrinth at the conference was a large canvas circle with this pattern on it:

You're invited to start in a small circle drawn outside the entrance point, then step out of the circle, leaving your "self" in the circle, moving that self away, then step back into the circle without that day-to-day self. Breathe, etc., then start your journey. There was calming steady music and dim lighting to set the mood.

I can't claim to be able, or even to want to, empty my thought as it seems most who do this recommend. I was thinking throughout, very distinctly. My thoughts centered on the now-ness of the experience, that right in those moments when I was walking, I was neither more nor less than I had ever been, that I had all creation with me right then, that I was complete and in total harmony with Spirit. Basically, to me, it was an opportunity to pray while walking.

In the center of the labyrinth is a space to sit and contemplate further. I found myself taken with the music that was playing and I allowed it to flow around me, concentrating on its slowness. I enjoyed the feeling I often get in prayer, that of floating and of light.

In my journey back out of the labyrinth, I got the idea of carrying this light back out with me, in particular to my children. They rose spontaneously to thought as they often do when I'm in the heart of prayer, so I embraced the idea of sharing the uplift I was feeling with them.

So what did I take from this experience? I'm grateful to know that my prayer discipline already gets me there in many ways. This was a different setting but the results were the same. I've always had a strong respect for the discipline of meditation as I've read about it—I can see many parallels with prayer, although perhaps they're not equivalent. I do believe that prayer is most effective when you quiet the senses and turn thought away from the day-to-day.

Prayer involves inviting an experience of the transcendent to thought. Meditation to me involves a physical discipline of quieting the body, and I've adopted some of that discipline in my own desire to pray more deeply. But my experience has been a bit different than what the meditation writers I've read describe. For example, instead of calming my breathing first and then experiencing an uplifted state, I've noticed that when I mentally achieve the uplifted state, my breathing regulates itself. The physical is a result of the mental state, not a cause.

Still, this experience was instructive. The gentleman shepherding people through the labyrinth was a delight to get to know, and the atmosphere was filled with peace. And now, as I write about it, I'm feeling that peace again. That to me is the point of spiritual experiences—we learn something, and we take it with us wherever we go.

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Be there, and be heard

(a continuation of Friday's post...)

Remember the story of Joshua at the battle of Jericho? "The walls came a tumblin' down…" This is like voting. No, really.

Joshua, as you'll recall, had the city of Jericho to storm. The city was surrounded by a impregnable wall. God told Joshua to gather the people and have them circle the city. At the appointed time, they would all shout together "with a very great shout." When the people all shouted together, the wall fell down flat.

I'm sure you get the metaphor. Voting is like that shout. There are times when we need to all be heard together, and it adds up to a mighty voice. Your voice is important in that shout. It would be weakened without your voice. So, vote!

And as promised, here's the healing story:

One time when I was scheduled to attend a regular membership meeting of my church, I got a severe infection in one eye that was pretty distracting and made it difficult to drive. The agenda as distributed prior to the meeting didn't have anything special on it, so I had the option of staying home. But for some reason I felt it was important for me to be there. I knew I could not be harmed by doing my duty, so I got myself together and drove over carefully.

A funny thing happened as soon as the meeting started. My eye actually cleared up for the duration of the meeting. I think I was so absorbed in the business at hand that I didn't have space to obsess about my eye, so it just functioned as normal.

Later in the meeting, some new business came up that threatened to put us all into a dither. But I was in the mental space of seeing clearly in more ways than one. The compromise solution that settled everyone back down happened to come from me. I had a role to play that was mine alone.

It *was* important that I be there, and that my voice be heard—or really, that Spirit's voice be heard through me. (There were a few residual symptoms in the eye, but they cleared up entirely within a few days.)

Next week's the big day—be there, and be heard.

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Be sure to vote!

November 7 is Election Day here in the United States, and although the presidency is not at stake, the election results will have enormous impact on control of Congress for the next two years.

I have some very intelligent, dear friends, though, who have told me that they never vote. They say they don't know enough about the issues to cast a meaningful ballot. And, what difference does one vote make anyway?

Well, today I'd like to pose a spiritual way to look at voting. (This is actually a re-visit of an article I had in the Christian Science Sentinel in 1996! I'm very keen on voting.)

I've written before about letting your voice be heard here, here and here. Those entries were more about the impact of free expression on us as individuals. It blesses us individually to be able to find our own voice and use it, because we then become more aligned with what Spirit intends for us. We are each unique creations of infinite Spirit. Consequently, it's our nature to sing that one unique song that only we can sing.

But what about when all creation sings together? The mighty chorus that is all Spirit's ideas, raising their voices to praise and rejoice? Think of the power of that song!

Yet, even if 9,999,999 voices out of 10,000,000 are raised, something would be lacking if that one lone voice were silent. The expression wouldn't be complete. I'm convinced that's not what Spirit intends. The Divine, which is infinite Love and Soul, expresses itself through its creation even as a conductor of a symphony gains a reputation not from his or her own playing but from how the orchestra plays. We are God's expression; He needs us so that He will be known.

To me, elections are one way this translates to our human scene. It's probably true that none of us are fully informed on all the issues. Certainly I've voted for many candidates on the ballot when I'd never seen their names before. Yet, to me, elections are an aggregate snapshot of who we are as a people right now, informed or not. Our government is shaped by who we are as a group at the moment of election.

This is in fact the only way to get fair representation. We all need to go in, cast our votes, then see the results. If we're not happy with the results, it's a kick in the pants to make sure we're happier next time. In the meantime, we try hard to work with each other within the framework that our voting established.

This doesn't work as well if some people don't vote. Voices are then missing. The snapshot doesn't then include everyone. Afterward, there may be griping or apathy about the results rather than engagement. Democracy is weakened by this, and doesn't come as close to expressing the divine symphony of Spirit.

On Monday, I'll share a healing story that is related to voting. In the meantime, be sure a trip to your polling place is on your schedule for the following Tuesday!

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Are you superstitious?

This is going to be a bit of an exegesis today, but I'm finding it fascinating and I hope you will, too.

In my regular Web trolling, I came across an entry from James Kubecki on the word superstition. He was reading an older Bible commentary and that word struck him funny, so he looked it up in his Webster's 1828 Dictionary. Here's what he found:

SUPERSTI'TION, n. [L. superstitio, supersto; super and sto, to stand.]

1. Excessive exactness or rigor in religious opinions or practice; extreme and unnecessary scruples in the observance of religious rites not commanded, or of points of minor importance; excess or extravagance in religion; the doing of things not required by God, or abstaining from things not forbidden; or the belief of what is absurd, or belief without evidence.

Now, I have this dictionary sitting on my desk. It's very helpful in understanding what Mary Baker Eddy wrote since it was the primary dictionary of her era. Out of curiosity, I thought I'd review some of the times she uses the word superstition (all from Science and Health) to see if this illuminated the meaning at all. And boy, was that fruitful!

In the 1828 dictionary, only the final definition is the one I'd ever used. But it's the first one—excessive exactness or rigor in religious opinions or practice—that I think now Eddy meant in the following passages:

Long prayers, superstition, and creeds clip the strong pinions of love, and clothe religion in human forms. -- p. 4

Whoa!! I've read that one a million times with the "belief without evidence" meaning. It makes a lot more sense now, with the "excessive exactness in religion" meaning! And is a true watchword for us today as we pursue our own religious beliefs.

The way through which immortality and life are learned is not ecclesiastical but Christian, not human but divine, not physical but metaphysical, not material but scientifically spiritual. Human philosophy, ethics, and superstition afford no demonstrable divine Principle by which mortals can escape from sin; yet to escape from sin, is what the Bible demands. -- p. 98

"Not ecclesiastical but Christian." And "excessive exactness in religion" gives us no help in escaping sin, even though those who attempt to enforce this exactness always give the impression that it's sinful not to be exact. Wow.

We need to understand the affirmations of divine Science, dismiss superstition, and demonstrate truth according to Christ. -- p. 149

Superstition is to be dismissed. Huh. I think back to many times in church meetings where someone was speaking at length about some legal point or getting us all hung up on the jots and tittles. I should have dismissed that? Well, at least respectfully perhaps. But usually I'd find myself trying to reason with this mode of thinking, trying to find consensus. This inevitably had the effect of watering down any inspiration we had to begin with, and stultified our efforts.

Mere speculation or superstition appropriates no part of the divine vesture, while inspiration restores every part of the Christly garment of righteousness. -- p. 242:26

Here Eddy states that the opposite of superstition is inspiration. They have an inverse relationship. The more "excessive exactness in religion" there is, the less inspiration there will be, and vice versa. Which do I want more of?

In Christian Science, a denial of Truth is fatal, while a just acknowledgment of Truth and of what it has done for us is an effectual help. If pride, superstition, or any error prevents the honest recognition of benefits received, this will be a hindrance to the recovery of the sick and the success of the student. --p. 372

Another whoa!! She's saying that "excessive exactness in religion," like the Pharisees showed so often in the Bible when they told Jesus not to heal on the Sabbath day, actually gets in the way of healing! This is a serious negative, folks.

The martyrdom of Jesus was the culminating sin of Pharisaism. It rent the veil of the temple. It revealed the false foundations and superstructures of superficial religion, tore from bigotry and superstition their coverings, and opened the sepulchre with divine Science, — immortality and Love. -- p. 597

And ohmigosh, she's here saying that superstition contributed to the crucifixion. Okay, that makes it pretty clear. Superstition = bad. I get it.

I'm also gaining insight from the definition, "the doing of things not required by God, or abstaining from things not forbidden." How often do we judge ourselves and others by this standard? To believe that we're good or bad according to things that God takes no notice of is superstition. To believe we can get anywhere spiritually without its opposite—inspiration—is itself a form of superstition.

I find this kind of study very exciting, so thanks for reading along to here! I'm on the lookout for superstitious tendencies today. But I also now know how to turn them around—with inspiration.

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Learning to multiply

No, this one isn't about procreation. It's about math.

It occurred to me the other day while talking to a Sunday school student that spiritual growth is like math.

Early on in your math career, you learn how to add. Addition meets your needs for a long time. You can add toys, oranges, sticks, even money. You may learn subtraction, and this gets you even further.

But then a problem comes along that you can't solve with addition or subtraction. Let's say it becomes vital to know how many rooms are in a house that's three stories tall with four rooms on each floor. Someone presents multiplication to you as a way to figure it out, but you resist. You say, "No, I can rely on addition," and you start adding away.

But then the building increases size to 25 stories, with 12 rooms along with east edge and 10 rooms along the south edge making a 10x12 grid of rooms on each floor. And, you need to know how many rooms each of 9 people would get if the building was divided up. How do you figure it out now?

My Sunday school student pointed out that you could still get the answer by adding and subtracting. But wouldn't it make your life easier to learn multiplication and its friend division?

My observation has been that there comes a point in every person's spiritual journey where the next lesson seems too hard. We want to fall back on what we already know and do it the long way rather than learn what will get us there quicker. We may be avoiding facing sin or a character trait that needs refinement. We may be resisting fixing that interpersonal problem or admitting we were wrong about something.

All this does is elongate the time we spend dealing with the problem. Eventually, we're all going to have to learn multiplication. It's the natural next step after addition. And, since we've mastered addition, doesn't it make sense that the divine Teacher will encourage us to take the next step? Sometimes forcibly?

Mary Baker Eddy talks about this property of divine Love in the context of friendship (emphasis added):

Would existence without personal friends be to you a blank? Then the time will come when you will be solitary, left without sympathy; but this seeming vacuum is already filled with divine Love. When this hour of development comes, even if you cling to a sense of personal joys, spiritual Love will force you to accept what best promotes your growth.

--Science and Health 266:6-12

So what would it take to speed the process? Eddy talks about this as well:

Willingness to become as a little child and to leave the old for the new, renders thought receptive of the advanced idea. Gladness to leave the false landmarks and joy to see them disappear, — this disposition helps to precipitate the ultimate harmony.

--Science and Health 323:32-4

I always thought "precipitate" meant simply to "cause to happen." But now I find on looking it up that it means "done with very great haste." Willingness to leave the old for the new, gladness and joy at learning the new lesson—these dispositions hasten the ultimate harmony! Who wouldn't want that?

So, take on those lessons! The great thing is, anyone can learn to multiply. Once you learn it, it's not that hard, and a whole host of problems becomes easier to solve.

And then Love says, "Get out those notebooks friends, it's time for algebra!"

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Patience and trust

My friend Nancy and I went to visit her son-in-law's church this Sunday—the New England Chapel. While I wouldn't characterize it as a "mega-church," it was in a large building bustling with activity, with the rock band and the PowerPoint up front, a huge kids' program, and a young energized preacher.

The preacher spoke about trust. What does it mean to trust God? He said, "Just saying you trust God isn't enough. It can't just be with your lips, but with your life."

At one point of the service, he talked about patience as related to trust. "We Americans," he said, "turn on the hot water and if it takes more than five seconds to get hot, we get impatient." Ha! I've been thinking about that a lot since Sunday—every time I turn a faucet handle actually. But then he said, "Patience is trust-filled waiting."

Patience is trust-filled waiting. I liked that. When we're impatient, we're expressing a lack of trust (among other things). Patience denotes an understanding that everything is rolling out as it should be, that God is in control and that all is well.

As I pondered this idea, it combined with what I already know about God. That He is divine Spirit, perfect, and entirely benevolent toward us. That the divine will for us is only good, and Spirit is supplying all good all the time. God withholds nothing.

This perhaps wouldn't jibe entirely with what the preacher was saying, because he seemed to have more the concept that God gives and takes according to some plan that we need to humbly submit to without understanding.

I don't quite see it that way. Rather, it's our understanding that has to grow to enable us to see with God's eyes. That, to me, is what we have to be patient about. If we're not seeing ourselves or our circumstances the way God sees them, we need to be patient but also strive to gain that understanding.

So patience is not only trust-filled waiting, but also active waiting. Actively filling the space between Point A and Point B with increased understanding and consecration. Trust based not on blind faith, but on fully connecting with divine goodness to the point where you feel no lack. If you feel no lack, you won't be impatient.

This has given me another tool for my spiritual practice. Linking impatience with a lack of trust in my thought will give me the red flag I need when impatience rears its ugly head. When I'm feeling impatient, it will be a reminder to trust.

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When a miracle is not a miracle

I hope you enjoyed the story I posted on Friday, about the healing of nerve damage in the ear. We were amazed when we heard it at the Open House, but the person maintained that to her, it seemed entirely natural. So this led us to a discussion of miracles.

It occurs to me now that miracles are in the eye of the beholder. It depends on your perspective.

If you're the person experiencing the spiritual transformation and certainty that results in a dramatic shift in circumstances, the shift can feel like a simple outgrowth of the transformation. In other words, the startling part is the transformation of thought, and once you accept that, the circumstantial change makes complete sense.

However, if you're someone on the outside of this transformation and all you see is the circumstantial shift, it can appear miraculous. That's because you're used to having a physical cause for things. You're used to your eyes and your ears telling you what's happening, and when something happens outside the view of eyes/ears, it seems like magic. You can't *see* a transformation of thought.

I sometimes imagine what it was like for Jesus to walk along healing all those people, as is recounted in the Bible. Look at what Matthew has to say:

• And Jesus went about all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues, and preaching the gospel of the kingdom, and healing every sickness and every disease among the people. Matt 9:35
• When the even was come, they brought unto him many that were possessed with devils: and he cast out the spirits with his word, and healed all that were sick: Matt 8:16
• and great multitudes followed him, and he healed them all; Matt 12:15
• And Jesus went forth, and saw a great multitude, and was moved with compassion toward them, and he healed their sick. Matt 14:14
• And great multitudes came unto him, having with them those that were lame, blind, dumb, maimed, and many others, and cast them down at Jesus' feet; and he healed them: Matt 15:30
• And great multitudes followed him; and he healed them there. Matt 19:2
• And the blind and the lame came to him in the temple; and he healed them. Matt 21:14

Clearly all this effortless healing could seem pretty miraculous! But when I think about the state of mind Jesus must have had as he walked through the crowds, how he must have such a clear idea about the people around him that he could directly see through whatever the problem was so completely that they were healed on the spot. When Paul writes, "Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus," I think this must have been what he was talking about.

Because of his special anointing as the Messiah, I don't think Jesus had to experience the transformation of thought you and I need when we heal. His thought was already there. But he also knew it could be taught and cultivated, hence his taking disciples. And the disciples were amazed at what they could accomplish in his name.

I remember the first time my prayers for someone else healed them. The person, who was new to spiritual healing, ran up to me when she next saw me and said, "What did you do? That was amazing! It worked!" I just said, "It did?" I was pretty amazed, too. I mean, I knew as I prayed that my thought had transformed, but this was the first time that someone else felt the benefit of that.

Here's some of what Mary Baker Eddy says about miracles in Science and Health:

• A miracle fulfils God's law, but does not violate that law. This fact at present seems more mysterious than the miracle itself. p. 134
• Mystery, miracle, sin, and death will disappear when it becomes fairly understood that the divine Mind controls man and man has no Mind but God. p. 319
• Christian marvels (and marvel is the simple meaning of the Greek word rendered miracle in the New Testament) will be misunderstood and misused by many, until the glorious Principle of these marvels is gained. p. 474
• MIRACLE. That which is divinely natural, but must be learned humanly; a phenomenon of Science. p. 591

"Divinely natural." To an outlook limited by materiality, these words contradict, for how can something that is divine be of the natural world? But to an outlook that has expanded to include spiritual reality, the concept makes complete sense.

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Nerve damage in ear healed

Today I thought you'd enjoy a story that was told at the Spiritual Open House two weeks ago (I was so impressed I asked the person to write it up for me afterwards):

I sometimes wonder if I have ever had a healing in Christian Science. I was raised on the concept of God's perfect child, and my identity as a reflection of God. I understand that I am a spiritual being at my core and God is my Principle. I've loved the idea that all mankind has that same identity and that we are all interconnected. The issue of healing, however has been illusive. Some of the ideas that sometimes come to me, right are wrong are , "Why heal something that is unreal?"... and "Give unto Ceaser that which is Ceasar's...", meaning if it hurts and my prayers aren't working , than do something that matter understands and responds to...

I have never thought those ideas were necessarily "right"...but I never felt that they took anything away from my essential Spirituality. In fact, I know they don't.

There was a long time that I did not consider myself a Christian Scientist, although the Science and Health stayed in my household. I read and studied and wrote arguments to parts I didn't get, and embraced parts I did get... The fundamentals were always there.and the strongest of these was Love.

One year, during a period of extraordinary stress, I woke up and could not hear out of one ear. It was the day of a particularly frightening political deadline that we were not keeping. I had long rationalized away my fear of that deadline, but here I was with a loss of hearing. The night before I could hear my mother 6000 miles away calling my name...It looked like listening to that (perhaps) imagined voice had damaged something. My husband, unafraid, calmly suggested I just needed the wax cleaned from my ears and we went off to the clinic.

Once there, the doctor tested the ears, peeked inside and curtailed his usual remarks of seeing little monsters in there (something he would say to my kids). Standing a room's length away, he spoke to me. I heard the voice but could not make out the words. He surprised me when he told me that I had nerve damage in my ear and had not only lost my hearing, but would not regain it. I was shuffled off to a specialist and an audiologist who measured the 1/3 hearing loss in that ear. I was prescribed some vitamins and given a shot and told to return in two weeks. The prognosis was still...the hearing will not return.

Surprisingly , I was unconcerned. I did not believe that my hearing would not return, nor that it had been damaged in any way. Christian Science and the idea that I am a child of God and can be nothing but perfect was an ingrained understanding. Somehow, even with my arguments and struggles to understand, it was supremely natural for me to remain unafraid during this crisis. I went home, continued with work and gradually, over the next two weeks, with much ringing and commotion in the ear, my hearing returned. When I went back to the audiologist, she found my hearing within normal range and exclaimed, "In twenty years of doing this job you are only the fourth to ever regain hearing."

I was of course, grateful and knew this was God's law at work. I wasn't sure it would count as a Christian Science healing, but I did know that it was God's Principle proving itself. It didn't matter what name I gave myself, or how much I thought I lacked in understanding... or who tried to help...God was at work anyway... and my identity as God's expression was and is untouched.

I gave this testimony very hesitantly one Wednesday evening. The response was gratifying... The experience didn't just count for me it counted for my church community too.

I love the honesty. On Monday, I'll share some more thoughts that came from the Open House discussion.

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More about teeth and healing

In response to yesterday's blog entry, Dennis (Big Raff) posted:

May I ask a question? If one can pray through to heal the infection, why not the tooth itself?

Although not a Christian Scientist, I do study it so my question is an honest one.

Along these lines, one problem I had once in going to the dentist to have crown, was that it took 5 shots for the Novacain to take effect. I was reading S&H and my faith in it must have lessened.

I love Athos's posting in response:

Dennis, you are right -- there are no "exclusions" from the healing effects of Christian Science. Having said that, still the study and practice of CS is very individual. For instance, my mom had a tooth extracted with no Novocain, but I prefer to have several shots for a tooth filling! The fear, to me, of the pain is pretty strong. But not to my mom. So, each of us is working on eliminating our own fears with our individual understanding of CS. Bottomline, healing of anything in the material condition is possible. Hope this helps.

I remember my sister telling me years ago that she experienced something like Dennis did, meaning she was so "prayed up" when she went in to get all her wisdom teeth removed that the anesthesia had no effect. She just stayed awake. Finally they got her under and did the extractions. Interesting stuff happens sometimes when you're relying on metaphysics.

I agree with Athos entirely that Christian Science—the Science of the Christ—*can* heal anything. Since the door is wide open for healing, we human sometimes narrow the field down to the specific thing we're trying to heal at this moment. In my story yesterday, what really needed healing was the job situation. The tooth pain was a mere symptom of that disharmony.

Yes, with spiritual growth in another direction and more dedicated to healing the tooth, Christian Science could have restored the tooth. I believe that completely. However, in my case at that time, the overwhelming disharmony was the job. I needed to feel God's love in that direction, and that included resolving the tooth situation the way it did.

To me, healing is the movement from perceived disharmony to acknowledged harmony. Any movement in that direction is healing, no matter what it may look like to someone else. Every individual is on their own path. We cannot say for another, or even for ourselves in the future, what step on that path will bring us increased harmony.

We should hold high expectations for Christian Science and for spiritual healing. The whole point of spiritual healing is that what seems impossible to the physical senses is indeed possible with God. It's healthy I think to expect the best results. It's also healthy to rejoice and be grateful for *any* demonstration of good that brings us increased harmony, and to acknowledge God's power at work.

So my answer to Dennis's original question: "If one can pray through to heal the infection, why not the tooth itself?" Exactly! Why not? If that's the way you're impelled, go for it. If you're impelled in another direction and you achieve healing results, that's cause for rejoicing, too. God lets us know what we need at any particular time, and we can rely on Him for direction.

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Job stress, pain and healing

This story starts with a cracked tooth. No need to wince—it cracked one summer day, but then caused me no more trouble.

However, that next winter, my work situation snowballed into one of the toughest periods of my life. What had been a dream job abruptly became a nightmare. Upper management went through a shift in thinking, which was directly affecting my project. My team, who I cared deeply about, became confused and disoriented even as we tried to comfort each other and adjust. As manager, I felt responsible for the outcome. The stress was wiping me out and lowering all my defenses.

And right in the middle of this, my tooth decided to flare up.

At first I tried to handle it from a strictly physical point of view, meaning I'd address the physical problem with my prayerful treatment and hope to heal it that way. No go. The pain, unfortunately, kept increasing. It became the focus of my world, I couldn't even think about work anymore. I went to a local dentist who informed me there was an infection and the tooth couldn't come out until the infection was gone. He prescribed antibiotics and painkillers, told me how I could clean the area, and sent me home.

For the first time in my life, I got a prescription filled. Strange experience, the person behind the counter even had to instruct me how to take a pill, which I'd never done. She also told me when I was on this medication, I wouldn't be able to "operate heavy machinery," meaning I couldn't drive. But I had an important family trip the next day that couldn't be cancelled. I had to be able to drive.

So I took the pills home and stuffed them in a drawer. If the pain was simply from an infection, I felt I could deal with it. I'd healed infection before without medication, I was convinced I could do it again. I also did the cleaning the dentist recommended.

Here's when I finally began to address what was the real root of the problem—the work stress. I had many significant conversations with family members and in-the-know work associates who were supportive and understanding. I drew on this support for a growing conviction that despite all appearances, all was well. God, Spirit, was in control. Of me, of my tooth, of work. I was not spinning somewhere outside of His control.

And His control was Love. My subordinates were also enveloped in that Love, which had always motivated all that we were doing and had the power to protect us now.

Throughout these several days, I had bouts with pain but also painless, Love-filled moments. When the pain was gone, I knew only the Truth. I'd use these breaks to shore up my defenses as much as possible with heightened prayer and conviction. I began to feel a sense of control over the pain as I specifically addressed both the physical and mental symptoms. I don't want this to sound like it was easy, because it wasn't, but it was productive and inspiring. I felt that God was with me.

We took the family trip, me driving most of the way, and it worked out. The kids had a great time anyway and I even got some rest. I got immediate help from the prayerful support of others when I needed it, and I took it from there.

Within a few days after the trip, the pain eased off and disappeared. I took this to mean the infection was healed. When the tooth removal date came, the dentist remarked that he was glad the antibiotics had worked, and I told him I'd never taken them. He extracted the tooth fairly easily (yes, I did consent to using Novocain!), and continued prayer in the aftermath made the healing process happen harmoniously. No further complications.

This experience strengthened me to face the work situation with more equanimity. I recognized I had been allowing the stress to affect me. I'd let it in, thinking something had changed for the worst. This was the real "infection." As I grew in my understanding that nothing good could be lost, that nothing had changed in reality and that my team and I were safe and loved and appreciated by God, I felt a renewed harmony in the workplace. When my project ended shortly thereafter and I moved on to other things, I was actually grateful. My subordinates, too, made transitions that were completely right for them.

Moral of the story? If there's any moral, it's that we're holistic beings. We can't separate out physical wellbeing from emotional and spiritual. I needed to learn that harmony in one area supported harmony in another—that I am one, whole, loved child of the Creator, and that Creator adjusts things perfectly on all levels.

I lost a lot of fear in those two weeks, and gained a lot of Love.

Your ideas and inspiration are welcome! Please comment below or Contact Laura.
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Procrastination is willfulness

My son had to write a paper on procrastination lately as one of his school assignments. The teacher said his was one of the best, so my son sent it on to me to read. Here's a great paragraph from it:

Loving the right has been a big part of my life recently[.] … I’ve always been thinking that fearing the consequence and not doing the wrong because you fear it is ok, but I’ve learned just this year that I should be loving the right, and hating the wrong. It’s not about being afraid of the consequence, it’s about be[ing] committed and agreeing with the right, and despising the evil. So I want to fight iniquity, procrastination, and laziness with nobility, getting things done early, and alertness. This is my Christian Science goal, and it coincides with character building and the things that come up in Study Tech.

You can imagine my jumping up and down at reading this.

And actually, the entire paper was a message directly to me. One of the things I noticed quickly about having the house to myself is that I could pretty much do whatever I wanted with my days. Seriously, I could sit around eating bon-bons if I wanted, no one would know. But I also found myself becoming rapidly unproductive with no structure. What was the problem?

My son's paper on procrastination gave me some answers. Procrastination seems like it's doing nothing, like nothing's happening. But it actually is a proactive choice the same way doing something is. I realized I was choosing to do nothing—that was what I was doing. Nothing. And it left me often just feeling empty, not relaxed and carefree as I thought it would.

The specific inspiration came one day during prayer when the phrase that titles this entry popped into thought. Procrastination is willfulness. And I realized I'd slipped away from how I was a year ago, when I had so many balls in the air that I couldn't stop juggling for a minute. At that time, I relied heavily on divine Mind, Spirit, to direct my every moment so nothing would crash to the ground. Ideas would come to me and I would move on them instantly, rather than scheduling them in for next week sometime. That was a time when the divine will orchestrated my days. Not surprisingly, I was very productive.

Last month, after the kids were gone, I guess I was trying to see how far I could get on my own steam. And I tell ya, each day just got more languid and paceless. It was like I was waiting for somebody to tell me what I was supposed to be doing. Finally, my son's paper and my own prayers gave me the kick I needed and got me to stop waiting.

My answer now is to do today's task today. It may only be today's task, and if I wait until tomorrow, the opportunity might be gone. I also began to use intelligently the tools at hand, like re-writable to-do lists and the Outlook task function to avoid forgetting things. That's been very helpful.

Now, I'm again seeing the ideas that come as a gift from the Divine. When the Divine sends you a gift, would you wait to open it? Thanks for that gift, Lord, I'll open it next week. I don't think so. Open it now, act on it now, say thanks now.

Replacing my own will with listening to the Divine is bringing me the satisfaction I craved. No more need for bon-bons.

Your ideas and inspiration are welcome! Please comment below or Contact Laura.
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New feature: category search

Good morning! This after a weekend hard at work pointing and clicking and typing one-word summaries of blog entries.

Alert readers will have noticed the appearance of del.icio.us tags at the end of every new blog entry, along with a new feature in the right navigation called Category Search. When I'm done with it (the "under construction" heading will be gone), you'll be able to browse my entire cache of blog entries by category.

This is a great piece of functionality I've seen on other blogs and finally committed to doing myself. Of course, what this implies is having to go back and edit every blog entry since the dawn of time to get those tags in there. So, I just started at the beginning and began to chew through. I'm about 33% done tagging about 450 entries. Like I said, when I'm done, the "under construction" will be gone.

You can use the tags several different ways:

• Click on a tag at the end of an entry to be taken to del.icio.us—try typing that ten times fast, I can't yet do it without a typo. Of course, it looks like a typo, but is a great service! Once there, you'll see all the other entries tagged that way.
• You can search directly from the right navigation using the drop down menu. The ten most recent entries similarly tagged will appear after the screen refreshes right below the drop down menu.
• You can pick something from the drop down and click the tiny square del.icio.us (there! did it!) icon to the right of the drop down. This will take you to you-know-where and show you all the entries for that tag.
• Once on del.icio.us, you can also browse through all the tags, which are listed on the right of my page on that site.
• I've also provided a direct link to my del.icio.us page under the Category Search box if you want to browse first.

Phew! Even though I'm only a third done, there's still plenty there. So, have at it! Test it out for me! Please let me know if the functionality works for you and if you find it useful. Also, feel free to comment on a particular entry if you like it—I'll see all the comments, and it helps me to know what resonates with people.

I'm hoping this new service it will provide a broader picture of what's on my blog. I know I'm having fun reviewing all the prior entries, it's like visiting with old friends.

Have a great Monday!

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Christianity—faith and works

I love this passage from TIME Magazine's When not seeing is believing, by Andrew Sullivan (adapted from his book The Conservative Soul):

[O]ur religion, our moral life, is simply what we do. A Christian is not a Christian simply because she agrees to conform her life to some set of external principles or dogmas, or because at a particular moment in her life, she experienced a rupture and changed herself entirely. She is a Christian primarily because she acts like one. She loves and forgives; she listens and prays; she contemplates and befriends; her faith and her life fuse into an unself-conscious unity that affirms a tradition of moral life and yet also makes it her own. In that nonfundamentalist understanding of faith, practice is more important than theory, love is more important than law, and mystery is seen as an insight into truth rather than an obstacle.

Christianity has bounced back and forth in the "faith or work" debate. Is it faith that makes you Christian, or works? I never understood why there would be any question, until I learned that in olden times, "works" were considered the religious sacraments, not things like doing good to others or healing.

So it first was about obeying religious laws. This was easy for the church hierarchy to measure, and for people to feel they were safely on the road to salvation. If you just do what the church tells you, you're all set.

Eventually, though, some inspired thinkers realized that you could do these things and still be very hypocritically hateful or sinful in your heart. Hence the shift to emphasizing "faith," or an inner conviction of God's presence and love. Prayer and spiritual communion, rather than literal ritual, began to replace the sacraments as the way to salvation.

But then humanity found that even that wasn't enough. A faith that has you just sitting at home or even in church, basking in the joy of God's presence, but doesn't result in your helping anyone else was too self-serving to some to be considered truly spiritual. It's important that your spirituality both redeems you as a person and has results—has a positive impact on those around you.

So to my mind, if I’m going to claim to be a follower of Christ Jesus, I need to be doing both. Daily consecrated effort to cleanse my being and draw closer to God, accompanied by willingness and readiness to serve others.

Interestingly, having these things on my to-do list doesn't leave me much time to be judgmental or hurtful or angry. I don't have time for the negatives, because not only would they take time away from the positives, they would require me to do more of the positives to tip the balance back. It's more Christianly efficient to stay in the positive and not waste time on the negative. Like Liz Imbrie said in The Philadelphia Story, "I can't afford to hate anybody. I'm only a photographer."

So I’m taking stock of both—faith and works. I frankly think they're both essential.

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Fighting together

A new friend sent this little parable to me earlier this week, thought you'd enjoy it:

Two Horses
--Author unknown

Just up the road from my home is a field, with two horses in it. From a distance, each looks like every other horse. But if you stop your car, or are walking by, you will notice something quite amazing.

Looking into the eyes of one horse you will discover that he is blind. His owner has chosen not to have him put down, but has made a good home for him. This alone is amazing.

If nearby and listening, you will hear the sound of a bell. Looking around for the source of the sound, you will see that it comes from the smaller horse in the field. Attached to her halter is a small bell. It lets her blind friend know where she is, so he can follow her.

As you stand and watch these two friends, you'll see how she is always checking on him, and that he will listen for her bell and then slowly walk to where she is, trusting that she will not lead him astray.

When she returns to the shelter of the barn each evening, she stops occasionally and looks back, making sure her friend isn't too far behind to hear the bell. Like the owners of these two horses, God does not throw us away just because we are not perfect or because we have problems or challenges. He watches over us and even brings others into our lives to help us when we are in need.

Sometimes we are the blind horse being guided by the little ringing bell of those who God places in our lives. Other times we are the guide horse, helping others see. Good friends are like this. You don't always see them, but you know they are always there Please listen for my bell . . . and I'll listen for yours.

"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle."

In researching this story on the Web, I came across this incredible slideshow about those serving in the military on a site dedicated to the Marines. It's very moving, keep your hankies handy.

It ties in for me to that quote at the end of the parable, about everyone fighting some kind of battle. Although we can't fight their battles for them, we can be companions on the journey. We can appreciate the strength they're showing as they fight, and can encourage them to keep fighting.

I also believe that we all have the mightiest Soldier, the most righteous General, divine Love, right by our side, fighting with us. The enemy is never another of His children, but fear, anger, hate. We fight these within ourselves, with the angel of God beside us.

Keep fighting. God is with you.

I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith:

--II Timothy

If Truth is overcoming error in your daily walk and conversation, you can finally say, "I have fought a good fight . . . I have kept the faith," because you are a better man.

--Science and Health

The Lord shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace.

--Exodus

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You learn something new every day

You know that saying that people spout whenever they hear something they've not heard before? "You learn something new every day."

I've written before about needing to find new inspiration each time we pray (Ping the spiritual GPS). Today I'd like to share an example of this that I found in the testimonial section of Mary Baker Eddy's Miscellaneous Writings, emphasis added by me to illustrate what I mean.

One Monday morning, I awoke feeling very ill indeed. The morning was warm and sultry. I thought I certainly could not wash that day; but when I went downstairs, I found my daughter had made preparations for such work. I thought, "Well, if she feels like washing, I will not say anything; perhaps I shall get over this." After breakfast I went about my work, thinking I could lean against the tub and wash with more ease than I could do up the morning work. I tried to treat myself as I had done before, — tried to realize that "all is Mind, there is no matter;" that "God is All, there is nothing beside Him," but all to no purpose. I seemed to grow worse all the time. I did not want my family to know how badly I was feeling, and it was very humiliating to think that I must give up and go to bed.

All at once these questions came to me, as though spoken by some one, taking me away from my line of thought entirely: How is God an ever-present help? How does He know our earnest desires? Then, without waiting for me to think how, the answer came in the same way, God is conscious Mind. Instantly the thoughts came: Is God conscious of me? Can I be conscious of Him? I was healed instantly: every bad feeling was destroyed. I could see that the morning had not changed a particle, but I was oblivious of the weather. It did not seem that I had anything more to do with that washing. It was finished in good season, while I was "absent from the body, and present with the Lord."

That was the beginning of the battle with sin and self, but at the same time it was the dawning of the resurrection. Since then (over four years) I have had many experiences, some of which seem too sacred to give to the world. False literature has caused me much suffering; sorrow has visited my home; but, through all this, the light that came to me on that Monday morning — that new and precious sense of omnipresent Life, Truth, and Love — has never left me one moment. It was the light that cannot be hid.

MRS. H. B. J., Cambridge, Ill.

--Miscellaneous Writings, p. 430

I'm so grateful for this woman's honesty! What I see here is: she first tried to go over old ground spiritually, to use ideas that had helped her before but not building on them. She could rattle off the words by rote—note the quote marks around them—but this didn't help her. But I believe her reaching out to God opened her thought to spontaneously receiving a *new* idea that stopped her in her tracks.

This new idea was so startling, so inspiring, that it completely riveted her attention. She stayed with it and experienced healing almost as a side-effect. And I like to think that new idea became something that she continued to build on in years to come. Certainly it remained in her memory as a beacon of light.

When you pray today, look for the new. Sometimes for me it's just a new phrase or image, sometimes lately it's become a stream of little snippets I just have to write down as quickly as possible and contemplate later. God is infinite—so you can learn something new every day.

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Above the swirl

Someone wrote to me the other day in appreciation for my blog, but also stated that sometimes they "worry" about me—that I put myself too "out there," and it could be dangerous from a metaphysical point of view. I understand what they mean—there is sometimes an element to expressing Truth that can make one a target for error. I'd like to share today the experience that taught me how to deal with being a target.

Back in 1997, I served on a special task force to redesign one of the Christian Science magazines. I got to know the editorial staff, and at one point, because I was the hip chick from California, one of the editors blithely asked me, "Do you know anyone who can write about homosexuality for the magazine? We really need something about that." So I grunted and said I'd get them something shortly.

I worked very hard on that piece (you can read it here). It touched on a lot of things—my own sexuality, my church experience, my amazing friendship with a fabulous gay man. I couldn't have been more "out there," but it felt completely natural. We went back and forth on the editing and finally had something we all felt good about. It was scheduled to run in December of that year.

Now the funny thing about the distribution of the magazine in question is that it comes through snail mail from one source on the East Coast. So, delivery sort of waves across the country whenever an issue comes out. I found myself getting strangely sick that December and having no idea why, and then my copy of the magazine came about two weeks later. I had already dealt with the sickness so figured it was a one-time incident. Then I got sick again. Two weeks later, another magazine came with a supportive letter to the editor. Ah. Dealt with that. But it happened again—this time a scathing letter—and again—another positive letter. I also received many letters in the mail.

I really disliked being buffeted around like this. I recognized the article had stirred thought, and because my name was on it, I personalized that stirring and gave it a focus. But, how to deal with it?

Certainly I studied all that Mary Baker Eddy has to say about things like mental malpractice and aggressive mental suggestion. But the article was also doing a lot of good. My favorite letter came from a grandmother who had learned her grandson was gay. My article helped her to see she could keep right on loving him. Something that did that much good couldn't be harmful to the one who did it.

The answer came when one day, deep in prayer, I had this image: mortal existence can do all the swirling it wants down here (making hand motions at the waist level). However, my existence is up here (hand motions over the head). I had the sensation of looking down at the swirl of mortal mind, duking out its own problems in a polluted cloud of confusion. I then looked out over spiritual reality from this higher perspective, which was the mountaintop, filled with light and clean air.

I am and always have been on the mountaintop. There is no need to be affected by the swirl of mortal mind. I am not there.

This healing remained permanent. I suffered no more ill effects from the ripples the article generated. And, in the years since then, when I've been in places where my name is closely linked to high-profile projects or rapid change, I've either been free from the effects of the swirl or have quickly recognized them and countered them.

So hey, don't worry about me. Counter the claims that mortal mind can resist Truth and cause harm to the Truth-sayer. Truth is above it all.

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Walking the talk

There are people who talk about being Christian, and then there are people for whom being Christian steeps their very lives to the point where they instinctively do and say things that I think I would really have to reach for.

I've been thinking this all week about the Amish response to the killings last week in Paradise, Pennsylvania. Here's a sampling of the news coverage:

Amish grandfather: 'We must not think evil of this man.'

A grieving grandfather told young relatives not to hate the gunman who killed five girls in an Amish schoolhouse massacre, a pastor said on Wednesday. "As we were standing next to the body of this 13-year-old girl, the grandfather was tutoring the young boys, he was making a point, just saying to the family, 'We must not think evil of this man,' "the Rev. Robert Schenck told CNN. "It was one of the most touching things I have seen in 25 years of Christian ministry."

Amish girl asked to be shot to save others

One of the girls who died in Pennsylvania's Amish schoolhouse massacre asked the killer to shoot her first in an apparent bid to save the younger girls, a woman who spoke to the victim's family said Friday.

Amish mourn gunman who killed 5 girls

Dozens of Amish neighbors gathered Saturday to mourn the quiet milkman who killed five of their young girls and wounded five more in a brief, unfathomable rampage.

[Roberts'] wife, Marie, and their three small children looked on as Roberts was buried beside the pink, heart-shaped grave of the infant daughter whose death nine years ago apparently haunted him, said Bruce Porter, a fire department chaplain from Colorado who attended the service.

About half of perhaps 75 mourners on hand were Amish.

"It's the love, the forgiveness, the heartfelt forgiveness they have toward the family. I broke down and cried seeing it displayed," said Porter, who had come to Pennsylvania to offer what help he could. He said Marie Roberts was also touched.

"She was absolutely deeply moved, by just the love shown," Porter said.

For some spiritual commentary on the Amish response, check out these links:

• Can we forgive?
• The Amish are right

I continue to be very moved myself by these examples of core Christianity that requires self-sacrifice, turning the other cheek, forgiveness, and love. We could learn a lot from the Amish.

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Some tips on healing

I talk a lot about healing being transformation of thought. What's the best method to help someone else experience this transformation?

If you want to be a spiritual healer, it's important to gain this skill. It has a lot to do with communication. I have to admit I learned a lot through trial and error. I tried a lot of tactics early on in my career of helping people through prayer, some of which really backfired. Now, though, I think I've gained some level of understanding of what works.

Some things I've learned to avoid

• Don't look for the cause of the problem. Since in Christian Science the end of the story, every time, will be that the problem is nothing, there's no point in trying to piece together the vagaries of mortal mind that made it spring up in the first place. Querying the patient about cause only serves to solidify the problem in thought, so I avoid this.
• Don't psychoanalyze the patient. Freud and his derivatives have permeated our society enough that we all know just enough to be dangerous. Mother/father issues, traumatic events, past hurts, etc., are all there clamoring for power and validation. I find it works better to keep the patient in the now. Deal with today, and whatever insights about the past that might be helpful will reveal themselves naturally, but only to be dispensed with.
• Don't be "holier-than-thou." Sometimes I'll ask myself, Who made you the Christ? I remain convinced that there's nothing special about me per se. Perhaps I've spent more time thinking about spirituality than others and that's why they've called me. But I’m no saint and am working things out myself on an ongoing basis. I have no particular spiritual authority, no especial holiness, that you don't have. We're all as holy as God. So I see healing as a collaboration rather than as a top-down kind of thing.
• Don't present yourself as knowing all the answers. I may take a strong authoritative stand mentally as I pray for a patient, but the patient will never hear this come out of my mouth. When spoken out loud, strong statements can come across as too absolute, too unfeeling. With the patient I present spiritual ideas to consider, saying, "This may be of interest," or "You may find this helpful," or the ever-ready, "Let me tell you a story." Then they can decide for themselves what line of thought to pursue.

Some things that have worked for me

• Lead with Love. The first thing I try genuinely to feel and then clearly to establish with anyone I talk to is that I care about them as a person. Their feelings are important to me, I feel compassion for what they're going through. In this way, I'm striving to represent divine Love in their experience at its most practical. The Love healers have to show is not some distant, cold thing on a mountaintop. Rather, it's the fire that warms and the heart that yearns to help.
• Help the patient find their own answers. My best prayerful work has not resulted in me imparting to the patient what they need to know. Instead, it results in the light coming directly to the patient themselves. Often they'll articulate their inspiration in a way that I wouldn't have, but it has meaning for them. I rejoice in this. It doesn't have to be my answers in order to heal. It's God's answers for them.
• Let them know you've had to work these things out yourself as well. I'm free with sharing what I've learned in my experience, sometimes as recently as a few weeks prior. I try to explain the steps I had to take to get where I needed to be. Rather than setting myself up as someone who never has any problems, I tell about how my spiritual journey has enabled me to overcome my problems. People find this encouraging, since they see that they could do so as well.
• Look for cause only in Spirit. Starting with God always, reasoning from that only Cause to the perfect effect of that Cause, I strive to understand that the person calling me is already in that space of perfection. They didn't do anything to deserve what they're facing, they aren't predisposed to anything harmful that can influence them. We can peel off those imposed layers one by one if we start with God.

Those are just some ideas about healing I'm offering today because it's been on my mind. I hope it deconstructs a bit the "mystery" of the healer's role, and shows you that you can do it, too.

Last chance!

Sign up for this month's Spiritual Open House,

this Sunday, October 4, at 4pm.

Your ideas and inspiration are welcome! Please comment below or Contact Laura.
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A place for everything and everything in its place

Sorry so late this morning, just got back from an early morning meeting.

Do you know what I'm starting to enjoy? Putting things away.

Those who have known me since childhood will gasp. I had the kind of bedroom where you couldn't ever see the floor. The light switch was by the door, so I had to strategize each night how I would leap over things to get to my bed before turning off the light.

Didn't improve much upon going away to college, but mercifully I roomed with someone as messy as I was so she didn't mind. My married years weren't much better—this was a constant source of friction—and then, well, I had kids.

But this morning I was conscious of enjoying the sensation of putting something away. I had pulled a box out of a drawer in the bathroom, used the product, then closed the box and returned it to its slot in the drawer. I enjoyed this. It was weird.

I guess I just like knowing things are where they belong. I like walking through the house seeing everything in order. I like a broad, bare, clean floor and everything as it should be. I even spent a weekend lately cleaning out the back storage room and got rid of tons of stuff. Good lord, I've even done some weeding.

I have no idea when the inner transition occurred that is allowing me to be this way now. But I'm finding that it's both an expression of and a contributor to a general sense of peace and wellbeing. It's a symbol of caring for myself that I now keep my environment orderly and uncluttered. The disorder before said I didn't care; now, I do.

So what's the spiritual point? And let me make it clear that I’m not trying to say there's any especial spiritual virtue in being tidy. It's all about why you're doing it. A home full to the brim can be as much an expression of Spirit—of joy, exuberance, variety. It's just that for me, right now, this is how my sense of self-respect and cheer is coming forth.

So for me, that's the point. My self concept has changed from one who didn't care about my surroundings to one who wants every element to work together in harmony. I no longer think of myself as a messy, disorganized person, so consequently I don't exhibit those qualities as much any more. You can't live like someone you're not.

Okay, so, there's still the final frontier—my office. When I catch myself enjoying filing, I'll know I’m there.

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