Assume a virtue

Remember that letter I said I had to write a few weeks ago? Well, I didn’t actually write it, although I’ve been mentally composing it a lot.

I’ve been cherishing this response from a gentle reader:

I have really gotten a lot of help from your idea that Principle fills all space. Principle is already where that letter needs to go.

What a freeing thought that was. The idea Principle is there already, creator of both me and the other, uniting us in righteousness, is so comforting. I can see more clearly that this person wants to do right, to make things right. So the communication is more an invitation to do right, not an accusation of something wrong.

I’ve been trying to think in these terms, that no one really wants to be living with an unfulfilled obligation over their heads. I mean, on some level they must feel that wrongness, even if they try to cover it up with self-justification.

My favorite scene in Shakespeare’s Hamlet includes this line: “Assume a virtue if you have it not.” It’s the scene where Hamlet is earnestly trying to get his mother Gertrude to do the right thing and turn from her (what he considered) incestuous bed. He goes on to explain that by forming a new habit through the first abstinence, gradually abstinence from the wrong will become easier and natural. And at the end he offers to pray for her.

Queen: O Hamlet, thou hast cleft my heart in twain.
Hamlet: O, throw away the worser part of it,
And live the purer with the other half,
Good night—but go not to my uncle's bed.
Assume a virtue, if you have it not.
That monster, custom, who all sense doth eat
Of habits evil, is angel yet in this,
That to the use of actions fair and good
He likewise gives a frock or livery,
That aptly is put on. Refrain to-night,
And that shall lend a kind of easiness
To the next abstinence; the next more easy;
For use almost can change the stamp of nature,
And either exorcise the devil, or throw him out
With wondrous potency. Once more, good night;
And when you are desirous to be blest,
I'll blessing beg of you.

I can’t tell you how many times in my spiritual journey I’ve used that concept. I’ll know something is right and good intellectually, but won’t have the experience of that goodness to get over my fear of doing it. Perhaps it’s sticking up for someone else, perhaps it’s being honest when I’ve made a mistake. Hamlet’s advice to “assume a virtue if you have it not” has set me on the right path. I’ve steeled myself to do the right thing, then seen the better result. In this way, I’ve grown in righteousness.

I’m hoping that this is the opportunity I’m affording the one I have to write to, even though it’s turning out that it’s better to have the letter come from my lawyer. It’s a big step for me. But when I know that righteousness will bless everyone in ways we can’t imagine, I gain courage to move forward.

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Talk about Love

There’s a song I love from the ’80s band O+ (pronounced “O Positive”) called, Talk about Love. It has the line: “What is lo-o-o-o-o-ve anyway? Does anybody love anybody anyway?” [Massive edit per Peter's comment: The song I'm quoting is actually Howard Jones' "What is Love?" The two songs exist on the same compilation tape, and I got them mixed up! Apologies to Mr. Jones.]

What is love anyway? Spent some time yesterday talking about it with my Sunday school class. And it’s not that easy to define. It’s like you either know it or you don’t. (When I asked, “What is love,” one kid said, “oh, God,” and I thought he was answering. But he was just exclaiming at the difficulty of defining it.)

We easily came up with external expressions of love, like compassion or putting someone else first or patience. But what is the nature of the essence behind those behaviors?

Genuine love to me is where you are so engrossed in regard for the other that you actually put aside thinking about yourself. You are 100% present with the other, fully *there* for them. Love is “that joy which finds one’s own in another’s good”—a phrase from Mary Baker Eddy (Mis. 127).

Yet this is still human love. What is divine Love? The one where the answer is, “God”?

I’ve read definitions like “a settled good will” or “a very strong feeling of affection.” Lame. Doesn’t begin to capture divine Love in all its benevolent glory.

For Love to really be God, it’s got to be infinite, omnipotent, supreme. It’s got to fill all creation with its good will, hold all creation in the bonds of affection. It’s got to delight in us as its children, with more tenderness than the most saintly mother and more confidence than the most encouraging father.

When I contemplate this Love, when I absorb all that it’s sending that I can accept, I’m filled and whole. I experience more goodness than I’ve ever imagined, and I know even more is in store for me. I’m well and happy and complete. And, in my best moments, I’m grateful.

And then, golly, doesn’t it become a simple matter to put the other first on a human level. When you’re full yourself, it’s so much easier to love others. Human love flows right from divine Love, the latter fueling the former.

I used to think love was like a pitcher, where I had some and someone else had some, and we’d pour it into each other when we loved each other. But that love is finite and too exclusive. The back-and-forth would deplete our energy and we’d run out, exhaust each other.

Now I think of love as flowing through me like a river, from the infinite fountainhead of Love. As it flows through me and I direct it to those I love, I experience it. It’s one of those things that when you share it, you have it. All you’re doing by sharing is multiplying its effects, because you still have whatever love you had to begin with.

There is no love without Love. Love’s presence is what makes love possible. And this to me is the most startling truth. I love all the time. It’s natural, like breathing. This most natural of things is indeed the presence of the Divine. And I learn again for the first time how God is the best kept secret there is. Love is hiding in plain sight.

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Les Mis

My daughter gave me the CDs to Les Miserables for Christmas, and I’ve just finished listening to them. The CDs are of the entire show, not just highlights, so it was like being in the theater again.

I first saw Les Mis when it first came to Boston, oh, 15 years ago. (Good golly, was it that long ago?) My just-became-ex-husband got tickets at work and knew I wanted to go, so he invited me. By then, though, I was in the throes of a miserable dead-end relationship, and was literally aching from the knowledge that the new “love of my life” was still pining for a former girlfriend so would never love me back.

Les Mis hit me like a ton of bricks. I think I started weeping in the first ten minutes or so, when the Bishop claims he gave Valjean the candlesticks, thereby keeping him from being sent back to prison for stealing. Waterworks. Waterworks through Fantine being abused then dying, through Valjean vowing to protect her daughter Cosette, through the stirring of the students to fight back against the unjust regime.

But my real agony came from Eponine, the street girl who loves the ideal young man, Marius (who unreasonably falls in love with Cosette at first sight). Eponine absolutely captured my feelings at that time. She loved Marius from afar, never speaking, but suffering as his love for Cosette develops. In fact, she helps him win her and saves her and Valjean from ruffians.

Then Eponine fights on the barricade with the rebellion, and is the first one to die. Slowly. On stage. Singing. But she dies in Marius’s arms, and he comforts her. And I thought that was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. “And you will keep me safe… and you will keep me close… and rain…. will make the flowers grow.” I would have given anything to die in my love’s arms right then.

The show continues through further agony and loss, but Valjean, Marius and Cosette escape. The closing scene is Valjean going to his reward, guided by the spirits of Fantine and Eponine. The three of them sing what to me is the most transcendent line ever:

“To love another person is to see the face of God ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^”

(I put those ^ ^ ^ marks, because as they sing, the final note just goes up and up, toward the heavens.)

And I realized that even though the love I felt was unrequited, loving itself was enough. If there was Love, there was God, so God was with me. This calmed me.

Mary Baker Eddy writes this, which captures what I learned:

Human affection is not poured forth vainly, even though it meet no return. Love enriches the nature, enlarging, purifying, and elevating it. The wintry blasts of earth may uproot the flowers of affection, and scatter them to the winds; but this severance of fleshly ties serves to unite thought more closely to God, for Love supports the struggling heart until it ceases to sigh over the world and begins to unfold its wings for heaven.

--Science and Health

All my suffering had meaning if it led me to become closer to God. Which it did, and has.

I took the kids to see Les Mis in London when we visited a few years back, and I’m proud to say we all cried together, even my video-gaming son. My tears had the wisdom of the intervening years, however. They were no longer tears of despair, but of gratitude.

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Smooth sailing

May the road rise to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back,
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
May the rains fall soft upon your fields and,
Until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of His hand.

Irish Blessings of the Wind

Yesterday my moment of insight felt like the wind at my back.

I don’t know how many of you have been sailing. When you’re sailing into the wind, you feel it on your face. You’re think you’re going fast because you have the sensation of all this resistance blowing past you. And with tacking back and forth, you can indeed achieve some speed and even gradual progress toward your goal. It’s arduous, but your hard work pays off.

When the wind is at your back, however, you feel nothing. It’s like stillness on a perfectly calm day. You can stand up on the bow of the boat and hang on to the lines, basking in the sun, enjoying the moment. Then you check the knot-meter, and you see you’re moving along at the fastest clip ever. This is because you’re going *with* the wind. The wind’s speed is your speed.

Yesterday when I had the need to pray, the concept that came to me was “effortless.” Our movement Spiritward is effortless, frictionless. Nothing is slowing us down. It’s smooth sailing.

And I had this feeling of sailing with the ideas of Mind. Mind’s ideas are flowing to us constantly. We can resist by facing into them, questioning them, disobeying them, even though Mind, God, is an irresistible force. (There’s no tacking away from the direction Mind is moving us.) Or we can reorient our perspective, put the wind of Mind at our back, and sail along without strain, without stress.

So I sailed. I relaxed into the idea that God is the one moving me wherever He wants me to go. I stood in the sun of Mind’s universe, recognizing how fast Mind is moving me. I gloried in Mind’s loving joy and provision.

I shared this comforting realization mentally with all on my prayer agenda. I saw all of us as sailing, frictionless, at the behest of Mind. I saw us as unafraid to obey Mind’s leadings, as joyfully embracing Mind’s challenges.

We’re sailing together with Mind at our back. Just think of how fast we’re moving.

God speed!

WIND. That which indicates the might of omnipotence and the movements of God's spiritual government, encompassing all things.

--Science and Health p. 597

Mind is perpetual motion.

--Science and Health p. 240

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If

Time for an inspiring poem.

If

--Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings—nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run—
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And—which is more—you'll be a Man my son!

Which part spoke to you most?

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Lightening the gray areas

Another question came my way over the weekend, and that was about “gray areas.” When you’re seeking spiritual healing and you also use physical means, isn’t that a free-fall zone where you don’t really know if you’re right or not?

My answer was, Yes, it’s a gray area. But then I said, Don’t forget that all of materiality is a gray area.

Over the years, I’ve come to the conclusion that there’s no black and white, absolute right or wrong, in this material universe. The material universe is finite, temporal, mortal. By definition, it can never be 100% right, because it’s not 100% Spirit. If you’re really looking for the only true absolute spiritual healing, that would simply be ascending out of our bodies and this world completely as Jesus did at the very end of his career.

So what are we doing in the meantime? Each healing, each transformation of thought (which I talked about yesterday), is one step in the long journey of dissolving matter and realizing Spirit. When we’re done with that journey, it won’t seem long—we’ll be done and we’ll have all infinity to live otherwise. But now, in the apparent midst of the journey, we take it a step at a time.

To me, staying on the path involves finding or choosing at each juncture that which will bring the most harmony. Looking for “right” or “wrong” often confuses me; looking for harmony often makes the most sense. (Mary Baker Eddy uses the word harmony 151 times in Science and Health, it’s a worthy study if you’d like to dig in deeper.) What is the most harmonious will often pop out when the right/wrong thing eludes me.

In fact, I think disharmony is just about the only thing that motivates us toward healing in the first place. You could be sailing along, perfectly fine with the way things have been, but gradually you become unhappy with some aspect of yourself or a situation that you’ve been okay with before. I believe this is due to our own spiritual growth. As we grow, that which was tolerable before becomes intolerable. We seek healing to achieve harmony, not to be “right” or “wrong.”

Like, say you have a so-so job. You’re okay with it at first because it met a need and you learned some stuff. But then eventually you become dissatisfied because it’s not giving you opportunities to grow or your co-workers are unkind. You’ve grown yourself to a place where it’s no longer harmonious to go on as you have been. You then turn to Spirit for the transformation of thought that will help you rectify the situation, either with a new job or by transforming your current workplace. Either solution is progress, there’s not one “right” solution. The real solution is always increased harmony in your present experience as a reflection of the perfect harmony of Spirit.

I think this applies to physical healing as well. What is the most harmonious, for you, your family, for the community, for the movement? Certainly getting better is harmonious; so is the transformation of thought spiritual healing brings. So is easing the fear of the people around you, so is aligning your thought 100% with Spirit. These things do not have to be in conflict. It’s not a contest. And only you can know what next step brings you the most peace. This is where Spirit guides you to new solutions, unexpected results.

And you know? Even if we could all just ascend as Jesus did, that might not necessarily be harmonious. Because we’re all in this together. If all the most advanced spiritual thinkers just checked out ahead of time, where would that leave the rest of us?

We need each other in this journey. We need each other’s patience and spiritual growth, and inspired realizations of harmony. Then the gray will gradually turn to pure white.

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Treatment is transformation

Someone asked me over the weekend what Christian Science treatment entails. The request wasn’t entirely sincere (in some ways the person was trying to bait me), but it’s still got me thinking. I give examples of treatments in what I’ve written, but haven’t actually tried to encapsulate in one posting what I think treatment is. So here goes!

To me, Christian Science treatment starts and ends with transformation of thought. When I initiate a treatment, I’m fully expecting to learn something new about God and His creation that changes me and benefits whoever I’m praying for. I have to be fully available for this kind of change at a moment’s notice—being entirely present and at the ready when someone contacts me.

To invite whatever change in thought is necessary, I start with God. I may jump off of something I’ve already been thinking about and let it go deeper. Or I may go along a path that I haven’t traversed lately, and that will lead to fresh inspiration. What I’m exploring, in thought and prayer, is the nature of God. Since God is infinite, I never run out of things to explore.

A new idea *always* comes. I can tell because I get this “aha” feeling, like light dawning over a sparkling sea. The idea is new, but self-evident. It’s startling, but it makes perfect sense.

When I’m riding that wave of inspiration, I apply it immediately to the issue at hand, whether it be a personal situation or someone I’m praying for. I connect the dots mentally, affirming that whatever new idea about God this is, it applies directly to the subject I’m treating, because every one of us is the image and likeness of the God I just learned something new about. I gain a conviction of this connection between perfect God and perfect creation, and see only this reality in the heart of treatment.

From this perspective of confidence, then, and only then, do I turn to the problem itself. By this point it’s clear that the problem has no connection to the conclusions I’ve already reached. It doesn’t fit in with the perfect God/perfect creation scenario. So I discount it thoroughly and declare its absolute inability to have any further effect on the subject. Nullifying evil mentally has the effect of destroying it physically, because evil exists first in thought. By seeing its unreality mentally, you can remove its effects on the body.

In a nutshell then, treatment is: 1) Perfect God, 2) perfect creation, 3) destruction of evil. Having said that, it’s also true that every treatment is different.

My transformation of thought may or may not be shared by the patient. Sometimes the patient simply receives the physical or personal benefit. Other times they too experience an “aha,” but not always the same one that I did. Other times, to be honest, I have to dig deeper myself to get to a place that helps. I may have to learn more than one thing to “close the deal” so to speak. I can’t claim 100% success, although I trust that in doing my best, the patient will be led to seek the solution that will get them where they want to go. I am encouraged though by the times I have been able to help someone, when it was clear and definite that my treatment had a positive effect.

When suffering with a physical problem, sometimes we want cure but not necessarily healing. To me, healing includes that transformation of thought, which could lead to transformation of character or core beliefs and practices. Not everyone wants that. Sometimes a person just wants to get physically better, and that’s certainly valid. Other times, our search for healing may look like it’s delaying a cure, but the transformation of thought is what’s important to us so we stay on that path. That’s any individual’s choice to make.

Okay, I could go on and on, so I’ll sum up. I practice Christian Science because I want that transformation of thought above all else. And it has worked for me consistently through my entire life to solve all manner of problems, physical, moral, economic, relationships. It works in my life, and it makes me grow. In making myself available to help others, I’m hoping to bring transformation and healing to whomever else is seeking it.

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Sleepless nights? Use the time.

Many years ago when living in LA, I struggled through a time of sleepless nights.

Something stressful was going on—I was disappointed in love or worried about money or something like that. And every night I would go to sleep only to wake in the wee hours with my mind racing, like there was a full dose of adrenalin pumping through me. I’d lay there, energized but also exhausted, ruminating on all my woes, until finally just before dawn I’d drift off only to be jolted up again by my alarm.

I was frustrated not only about not sleeping, but about how irrational my exhaustion made me during the day. And, waking up in the middle of the night became increasingly stressful in and of itself. I’d think, Oh, no, not again, and wallow in all kinds of discouragement. In the dark of night like that, your mind wanders to all your problems, real or imagined, present day or deep in the past. The wakefulness began to take on a life of its own.

What changed the situation for me was acceptance. I’ve been thinking lately about the Bible phrases, “Agree with thine adversary quickly, whilst thou art in the way with him,” and “Resist not evil” (both from the Sermon on the Mount). Those phrases have often puzzled me. What did Jesus mean? Then I remembered that time of sleeplessness—maybe that was an example of not resisting, of accepting.

Because what I did was take a passive-proactive approach. Eventually, I hit on the idea of, Well, I’m clearly going to be awake anyway. I won’t fight being awake anymore. I will, however, decide for myself what I’m going to focus on while awake. Instead of ruminating on my woes, I’m going to use the time for spiritual contemplation.

The beauty of this was of course, it was the middle of the night. The kids were asleep, I wasn’t at work, I wasn’t watching TV. In the quiet of my bed at 3am, I had nothing to distract me but my own mind. And now I was going to focus that God-ward.

So the next time I woke up, I thought, I’m awake anyway. What does God want me to know right now? And I let my mind wander through spiritual truths and embraced gratitude for the day that was past and the day to come. The stress that had woken me up evaporated as I relaxed into not fighting error but instead imbibing Truth.

I think for a few nights the wakefulness still lasted several hours, but what a different time it was. I actually began to smile when I woke up, looking forward to this private time with God. The time became infused with peace and assurance, comfort and gentleness.

This passive-proactive approach eased the stress on all levels of my life. Although I wasn’t sleeping, I was resting—resting in God’s love and goodness. Eventually my life evened out and I began to sleep normally again. But the skill I’d learned of turning to God with my whole heart carried right over into my prayer times after that. The peace of prayer became more readily available to me no matter what the circumstances.

Resist not evil—let God do the fighting for you. Train your thought on Him, and He will comfort you.

Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

--Matthew 11:28

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Virgin birth, etc.

Good morning! Wanted to be sure you saw Uwe’s most recent comment in this entry, yay!

Also, Franklin wrote yesterday:

I am surprised that Christian Scientists would believe in a actual virgin birth.

And, while I can’t speak for everyone who reads Science and Health and applies the ideas in their lives (my definition of a Christian Scientist), I thought I’d put in what I think about the virgin birth.

I can’t really discuss that though, without first saying a thing or two about Science and Health because all my convictions about Christian theology stem from that book’s take on the Bible.

I treasure Science and Health because its author proved everything she wrote. It’s both a textbook for me to learn from and a record of her own spiritual discovery. I don’t think she was being theoretical about any of it. In fact, she’s very careful in some instances not to make too huge claims. For example, sentences like: “The author has healed hopeless organic disease, and raised the dying to life and health through the understanding of God as the only Life.” She doesn’t say she raised the dead, but the dying. I find that humble, and that kind of writing convinces me she wasn’t speaking beyond her experience.

So when Mary Baker Eddy says Jesus was the son of a virgin, I believe her. But she doesn’t just ask me to accept this on faith. She reasons out how this happened scientifically.

Those instructed in Christian Science have reached the glorious perception that God is the only author of man. The Virgin-mother conceived this idea of God, and gave to her ideal the name of Jesus — that is, Joshua, or Saviour.

The illumination of Mary's spiritual sense put to silence material law and its order of generation, and brought forth her child by the revelation of Truth, demonstrating God as the Father of men. The Holy Ghost, or divine Spirit, overshadowed the pure sense of the Virgin-mother with the full recognition that being is Spirit. The Christ dwelt forever an idea in the bosom of God, the divine Principle of the man Jesus, and woman perceived this spiritual idea, though at first faintly developed.

--page 29

That entire chapter, Atonement and Eucharist, contains what I believe to be the most moving and insightful account of Jesus’ life, death and resurrection ever written. Mary Baker Eddy understood what he went through in a way few of the rest of us can.

I hope this isn’t too circular. I believe in the virgin birth because I trust Mary Baker Eddy’s conclusions because I believe she proved everything she wrote, and because those ideas I’ve been able to fully understand myself have brought me help and healing when I most needed it. Her teachings, based on the Bible, have never failed me, as long as I was willing to learn whatever lesson was required.

So I’m with her on things like the virgin birth, the resurrection, the ascension, until such time as anything she wrote proves to be incorrect. And I’ll do my best to understand more deeply so that I too can raise my beliefs from faith to demonstration.

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More sex talk (soft of)

Think I’ll deal with Adam and Eve and the fall another day, because I finished Paul Feig’s Superstud: Or How I Became a 24-Year-Old Virgin (which I wrote about the other week). What a fun book!

References to Christian Science and to God are laced throughout the whole story (he was raised in Christian Science). I related to it all, also because we’re the same age and both from the Midwest so all of his cultural references were familiar to me. And he did what I wish I had done, which is go out to LA right after college instead of waiting until I was 30. Owell! 20/20 hindsight.

Anyway, this book is not for those who blush easily. The descriptions of his sexual escapades are frank and detailed, although not erotic at all. Just matter-of-fact descriptions of teen sexual absurdity. And his various moments of truth, and how many times he chose *not* to have sex when he could have. Which was fascinating to me.

Ultimately, this book comes down strongly in favor of love. In his “in passing” kind of way, he explores romantic love, mother love, father love, the love of friends, and self-respect as a form of love.

I especially had a howl about what Christian Scientists would recognize as a “distance” healing. In a chapter Feig titles, “Please do not read this chapter,” he tells about injuring his neck in a, shall we say, highly misguided attempt at self-stimulation. (There’s a lot about masturbation in this book, so if that makes you squirm, you might want to steer clear.) He’s in a lot of pain, and at that very moment, he gets a call from his cheery mother. (She sounds like she was a real hoot, I wish I could have known her.)

Mom has had some sort of “feeling” that he was in pain, so thought she would call. (How many Christian Science testimonies have included that?) He, of course, claims to be fine. So she chirps on in her fun sort of way, then says, “I’m glad [you’re fine.] Because I’ve got the worst sore neck.” The shock of her saying this jolts him, and snaps the injured area back into place.

As both the child of a Christian Science mom, and now a Christian Science mom myself, this brought me to tears laughing. How many moms are out there praying for their kids every day, but with no idea of what’s really going on in their lives? Yet those prayers are effective, in whatever way the kid needs it. We don’t have to know exactly what’s going on to support prayerfully, even as my own mom didn’t need to know (thank God) everything I was up to in order to help me with her prayers. And pray she did, and I’m so grateful.

Now I’m feeling the pinch of knowing neither of my kids really want me to know everything about them anymore. My love for them has to go beyond the meshing of our human personalities. I’m being challenged to see more clearly and to support more prayerfully, rather than with opinions or advice. I suppose this is a deeper emulation of the Father-Mother Love that embraces us all. So it must be a blessing.

Feig’s book is worth a look if only to see how two Christian Science parents handle things like projectile vomit, the smell of pot permeating clothes, and large un-hideable hickeys. And, as they say, the acorn doesn’t fall far from the tree. I’ll bet their son is a pretty great guy.

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Statement of faith

Here’s an interesting piece from beliefnet.com—Jesus Christ, Man of Mystery. I’m not sure what I think of it—haha, maybe that’s the mystery.

I know many many Christians revere Jesus as God incarnate, and feel that the sheer act of God humbling Himself to become flesh is the point of Jesus’ coming. So that God would understand our woes, and show His intense love for us in the form of sacrifice on the cross. And this indeed is a great gift, that we were shown so clearly how to live and what’s important.

But I haven’t quite wrapped my head around what it all means. I think what I’m coming up against is semantics. Who is Jesus? Who or what is the Christ? How do they both relate to God, Holy Spirit? Am I Christian? What does it mean to be Christian?

Speaking very simplistically and at the great risk of being misunderstood, here’s what I understand so far:

• That Jesus was the Messiah, the Savior, who came to show us the Way.
• That Jesus embodied Christ, which means Savior, and therefore deserves and lives that title and all associated with it.
• That Jesus was showing us the Way, so that we could follow it ourselves. We are meant to do what he did, to live as he taught, to embody the Christ-nature ourselves to whatever degree we can.
• That Jesus, as a part of his virgin birth, was both literally and spiritually the son of God, yet he was also the son of man (as the child of Mary).
• That this virgin birth was to show us that not even material generation is all that there is to creation; that creation happens spiritually.
• That Jesus’ suffering on the cross was a result of material mortal sinful sense that we all are both perpetrators of and victims of.
• That Jesus’ resurrection from death was proof that material mortal sinful sense can never win.
• That God is Father-Mother, the whole Creator, of us as well as Jesus. That we, too, were and are created in His image and likeness. That Jesus was showing us what that image and likeness is, and we can embody that as well.

So I have indeed reverence for Jesus Christ, what he did and what he stood for. And I hope every day to be following his lead more closely. If considering him as the embodiment of Christ means I accept his divinity, then so be it. His dual nature, divine and human, can’t be denied—but neither can ours.

And perhaps that’s where I move from what might be considered traditional Christianity. I believe all the truths about Jesus’ divinity; but I also believe them about us. God is also our Father-Mother, and we are that image and likeness still and always.

So I guess the next thing to explore is what I think about the fall of Adam and Eve. Perhaps tomorrow!

P.S., none of the above of course is original to me, I have come to my conclusions based on my study of the Bible along with Christian Science, which has always made sense to me and I’ve been able to prove by degrees by demonstration. Not sure where this statement of faith is coming from today! But it felt important.

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The gift of peace

I love a weekend that doesn’t go as planned.

I had an excellent plan for this last weekend. Drive daughter to school by way of my brother’s house in Connecticut. Have some cousin face time between his kids and mine. Have leisurely long talks with him and his wife. Enjoy a relaxing weekend away from home. Come back up this morning bright and early.

Things went according to plan until Saturday night, 9:30pm. Drove back to his place from a scrumptious meal at a tapas restaurant in Darien, only to find that the power was out. Very windy night, we had seen large branches on the streets all the way home. My brother has a beautiful home, but everything relies on electricity, even water.

Walking around his darkened house, lit only occasionally by roving flashlights and tea candles, I experienced the unplanned. The velvet darkness in the still warm house brought a settled silence and calm. I cloistered myself in a cuddly couch and watched the wind stir the trees outside. And I thought about peace.

Peace to me is substantial, something you can breathe in and embrace. Your life can be filled with tumult yet you can still have the peace that comes from doing good for another, from a job well done, from righteousness. There’s a psalm that says, “…righteousness and peace have kissed each other.” I love that. They go together. And this weekend is the first time I’ve really thought about how peace can be gained through living goodness.

“There is no pillow as soft as a clear conscience” (a proverb I just found online). This makes me wonder if the peace we find within ourselves could do more than just help us. Do you think that gaining personal peace could contribute to world peace? Do you think that if each one of us tries to experience peace within ourselves, we would each be making the world a better place? Do we owe it to the world to try it?

I think that there's a virtue in being stress-free, having equanimity, being even-keel, acting on good impulses, challenging ourselves to finding peace—it would bless more than ourselves. It’s not a selfish pursuit, but a world-blessing one.

Interesting where a power-outage can take you. After a night of hunkering down in layers and blankets, we left earlier than expected, my brother and his family securely ensconced in a local Doubletree. It wasn’t my plan, but maybe it was part of “the” plan. And I’m left with the gift of peace that I just want to share.

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Birthing the baby

Well, it’s been almost nine months since I started this blog, and it’s been fantastic. I’ve met some truly fabulous people! Deep thinkers, warm friends, sincere seekers.

Now, after nine months, perhaps it’s time for this little baby to be born more fully. And the best way to “deliver” this child to the world is by asking for the help of you guys, the ones who read the blog already.

A few months ago, I posted the Support the Blog entry, which has some ideas for helping this blog reach more people. One thing you could do now, today, is scroll down this page and pick a recent entry from January, or go to the December page to pick one. Then, click on the “email” icon (the little envelope) at the bottom of the entry, to send to friends and family with a little note saying how you liked it.

If you could even think of ten people to send a link to, that would help hugely!

I am so grateful for all that I’ve learned about Spirit, about Christian Science, and about you this last nine months. There is truly a wide range of people who love these ideas and are putting them into practice in their own ways. I think God is smiling on us all as we link arms and support each other on our journey.

Here’s to the upward growth ahead!

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Unconfined

Yesterday’s big idea for me was simply the concept of being unconfined.

In the midst of my daily spiritual study, two passages from Science and Health stood out to me:

God is divine Life, and Life is no more confined to the forms which reflect it than substance is in its shadow.

--331:1-3

Beholding the infinite tasks of truth, we pause, — wait on God. Then we push onward, until boundless thought walks enraptured, and conception unconfined is winged to reach the divine glory.

--323:9

What I love about receiving ideas like this is how they apply to every situation I’m praying about. I had a bunch on my plate yesterday that had my prayerful attention, from personal issues to family to organizations I’m affiliated with to people wanting prayerful support. The “unconfined” concept washed over all of them, wiping out my fears and bringing inspiration to the most intractable situations.

That to me is what “give us this day our daily bread” means. Mary Baker Eddy interprets that line from the Lord’s Prayer as “Give us grace for today; feed the famished affections.” The new spiritual ideas we receive every day are that grace for today, and they meet today’s need.

Why does this always work, no matter what the spiritual idea? How is it that a transformative new idea somehow always applies to every situation we’re facing? Because every spiritual idea is linked to all spiritual ideas, and all those ideas lead us to a deeper understanding of God. And it is God who is the answer to all our needs. So the simple act of finding out more about Him is the daily bread.

Our understanding of God is unconfined. We never run out of things to know about Him, and each new understanding is in itself infinite. May your day be expansive with this unconfined sense, and may it bring you blessing.

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Keep at it -- it has to yield

There was an exchange yesterday in the comments that not everyone might have seen, so I thought I'd post it today.

uweps said...

Hi Laura,

thank you for this inspiring article.

I feel so impatient with my spiritual progress sometimes, that I think in those moments, gods spriritual laws are made for everybody, exept me. I don't think about walking on water! One simple healing would be a big step forward for me, and would satisfy me absolutely in the moment.
Since a weeks I'm dealing with a dry coughing, and can't find (demonstrate) healing. I do know that I'm, as God's beloved child and reflection, can't express sickness, although the coughing seems to dominate me.
Do you have a helpful thougt for me?

Best Regards, Uwe

uwe, thanks for writing in... I know what that's like, to have a persistent symptom and how tough that can be sometimes.

when I have problems that come up again and again, I try to use each instance as a reminder. whenever it happens, I stop and align my thought as closely as I can with the truth of being. I'll wait for a new inspiration each time. This is key, because just going over the same ground you have been doesn't bring the progress you need for healing. Each instance can be an opportunity to build on the inspiration from before.

whenever I've done this consistently and persistently, the symptom invariably yields to the stronger spiritual truth. and I just have to do this one more time than the symptom to be healed!

so keep at it. feel free to email me, too, at laura@lbmatthews.com.

much love,
Laura

An example of this was when I was healed of ringing in the ears. Being persistent and consistent really got me there.

I think we can approach even the most obnoxious symptoms without fear, just one moment at a time. Get through the current moment with spiritual truth, and let that build to the healing conclusion. It can't help it! Mortal mind always yields to Spirit.

From Science and Health:

That mortal mind claims to govern every organ of the mortal body, we have overwhelming proof. But this so-called mind is a myth, and must by its own consent yield to Truth. It would wield the sceptre of a monarch, but it is powerless. The immortal divine Mind takes away all its supposed sovereignty, and saves mortal mind from itself.

151:31-5

The five material senses testify to truth and error as united in a mind both good and evil. Their false evidence will finally yield to Truth, — to the recognition of Spirit and of the spiritual creation.

287:27

Mortals are not like immortals, created in God's own image; but infinite Spirit being all, mortal consciousness will at last yield to the scientific fact and disappear, and the real sense of being, perfect and forever intact, will appear.

295:11

The dream that matter and error are something must yield to reason and revelation. Then mortals will behold the nothingness of sickness and sin, and sin and sickness will disappear from consciousness.

347:26-29

The body is the substratum of mortal mind, and this so-called mind must finally yield to the mandate of immortal Mind.

371:2

All the evidence of physical sense and all the knowledge obtained from physical sense must yield to Science, to the immortal truth of all things.

493:6

The finite must yield to the infinite.

256:1-2

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Dominion over money

Wanted to tell you about a book I’m reading where I least expected to find any spirituality, yet there it was.

Start Late, Finish Rich was a Christmas gift from my sister (not the world-traveled, glamorous one, but the entrepreneurial, stay-at-home mom one who happened to make her debut on this planet ten years after I did). She’s knows I’ve been feeling the need to learn about money and how it works, and I guess this book helped her.

So I’m reading along thinking it will be all about avarice and greed, and it turns out it’s all about discipline and self-worth. Here’s what the author, David Bach, says in the introduction:

One Final Thought Before We Really Get Started

I believe you were put here for a reason. I believe you are special. I believe there is no one like you on this planet and that you were born with unique gifts, talents, and dreams. I know from experience that you may never have been told this—but that you feel it deep down inside of you. I promise you what you feel is real—and that the most important thing this book can do for you is help free you up to be who you really are meant to be.

You may think this book is only about money, but you will learn that it’s really about a lot more. My mission is to free you to be who you were put here to be—and my experience has taught me that what holds most people back from their purpose in life are financial challenges. Break the financial handcuffs of living paycheck to paycheck, worrying about debt, and losing sleep over how you are going to survive financially in the future, and you will be able to focus on what is really most important to you. You are already rich inside—this book will help you reconnect with your inner gifts.

This book may be called Start Late, Finish Rich, but I know that inside you are already rich in spirit. All we need to do now is help you become materially rich so you can live the life you were meant to live.

Well, I felt better just reading that. I’ve also read recently Rich Dad, Poor Dad, and that too offered me a lot of insight about cash flow. It’s new stuff to me, and I’m having to focus on putting it into practice (and not always succeeding!). But what’s helping me the most is the idea that handling money is a skill like any other—you can learn it. I’m not defective in some way because I sometimes struggle with this issue. I just haven’t acquired the necessary skills yet.

And it’s okay to be knowledgeable about money, the same way I’d be knowledgeable about plumbing if I own a house or bookkeeping if I’m running a business. Don’t know why I’ve always felt inhibited about this. Maybe it’s that I thought being too concerned with wealth would indicate I’m a materialistic person. But now I’m thinking that *not* being thoughtful and directed about it makes me fixate on it too much, and with too much fear.

Bach is right (I think). Fear about money holds me back, keeps me from taking risks, and stresses me out even when I’m doing what I know to be the right thing. It’s difficult to be obedient to divine leadings when this entire area of my life is making me afraid. So enough. Time to demonstrate dominion in this as in every other area of my life.

So I’m learning. Any insights you’ve learned on this topic would be welcome!

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He is pleased with you

Do you ever hit the conundrum of believing God is all power and all good and we’re made in His image and likeness, yet knowing there are certain things you can’t handle? Like, walking into traffic without looking or drinking something designed to affect you when you don’t want those effects.

I know I wrestle with this sometimes. I mean, we should all be able to walk on water, right? There’s nothing spiritual preventing it, and materiality has no power since Spirit is all. Why can’t I just snap my fingers and do whatever I want?

Usually for me this is a form of impatience with myself and my progress. I’m not happy with how far I’ve already come and I want to push myself beyond my current understanding. I’m just tired of dealing with certain things, but haven’t learned what I need to get beyond them yet. So I’m mad I can’t walk on water or raise the dead or resurrect from a crucifixion intact.

I got some comfort on this issue this morning when reading Science and Health. I know some people read this book and feel it’s too demanding, but when I read it, I think it’s filled with kindness and patience. Sure, there are high ideals being presented, and the absolute Truth of Being, but right alongside it you’ll find comforting passages that acknowledge spiritual growth is experienced as a process. It’s not a one-time destination where we feel, We’ve arrived! but a journey, where each step brings its rewards.

So this morning I read:

One should not tarry in the storm if the body is freezing, nor should he remain in the devouring flames. Until one is able to prevent bad results, he should avoid their occasion. To be discouraged, is to resemble a pupil in addition, who attempts to solve a problem of Euclid, and denies the rule of the problem because he fails in his first effort.

--Science and Health

And that struck me as very kind!

One time, years ago when I was new to the healing practice, I faced the stark distance between what I was beginning to sense spiritual healing could include and my own demonstration of it. In other words, I thought I sucked. I was used to being an “A” student in everything, and making the grade in this case was eluding me.

I fixated on all the things I wasn’t doing, all the people I wanted to help but couldn’t. World peace? Not happening. End hunger? Too huge. Cure all diseases and nullify time and space? Uh-uh. I remember wailing to God, “I can’t walk on water! I want to, but I can’t!”

The answer was so comforting. The gentle thought came, I don’t want you to walk on water *now*. I don’t need you to walk on water *now*. What you’re doing now is enough.

I gained some measure of peace that day. I remember that moment frequently, because I’m still not beyond the tendency to beat myself up occasionally. And that same comfort is still there for me. And you know? I can look back and see that what I have done has been enough.

It’s like Jacob said to Esau when they reunite after years of being estranged: “If now I have found grace in thy sight, then receive my present at my hand: for therefore I have seen thy face, as though I had seen the face of God, and thou wast pleased with me.” (Genesis)

God loves me anyway.

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On the other side

I'm a little amazed at the miner's final note. Martin Toler managed to write a note to his family, "It wasn't bad just went to sleep. Tell all I [will] see them on the other side."

Bless these men, dear Lord... they were men of prayer and turned to You in faith in their final moments.

That's really all I have to say this morning, perhaps will write more later. You could also read yesterday's posting if you want. And take a moment of silence this morning in love and appreciation for these dear men.

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The journey continues

Update: also check out Friday's entry, On the other side.

--------------------------------

beliefnet.com has a story this morning in response to the miners’ deaths in West Virginia. I found it inspiring, I hope it helps you too.

The situation is reminding me of this passage from Science and Health:

A blundering despatch, mistakenly announcing the death of a friend, occasions the same grief that the friend's real death would bring. You think that your anguish is occasioned by your loss. Another despatch, correcting the mistake, heals your grief, and you learn that your suffering was merely the result of your belief.

In West Virginia, sadly, the case was reversed. They heard that most of the miners were alive, and then found that this report was incorrect. The shock of the 180 degree turn from exuberance to devastation seems too much to bear as we continue to support these folks with our prayers.

I also happened to get a phone call last night from an acquaintance in Illinois, telling me that a mutual friend out in Los Angeles has passed on, a few months ago actually. The gentleman calling me had just found out, though, and clearly he wanted some comfort.

After we shared some appreciation for our friend, for his joviality and friendliness and his sense of service, I said, “Well, our dear friend now knows something we don’t. He knows that death isn’t real. We believe it, he knows it. And I’m convinced that we’ll see him again when we get to the other side.”

Our friend was apparently close to the caller’s parents who have also passed, so we thought of them all together again, chatting it up in the next dimension.

I do believe there is progress and companionship after the grave. I believe my friend has found it, I believe the miners have found it. There is comfort there, and joy. God bless them on all their journey—it hasn’t ended, but continues beyond our sight.

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Infinitely infinitesimal

Frank the Dog/Alien: You humans. When are you gonna learn that size doesn’t matter? Just ’cuz something’s important doesn’t mean it’s not very very small.

--Men in Black

You know I’ve talked before about infinity. And generally when I meditate on this concept, I’m trying to wrap my head around something all-encompassing. Yesterday though I got a whole new idea in prayer that I wanted to share today.

I was helping someone working through a physically painful ordeal. When I opened my thought to inspiration that might ease her way, the idea came that divine Love was in between her and her body.

One of my favorite passages in Science and Health is: “Clad in the panoply of Love, human hatred cannot reach you.” I’d always thought of this as a suit of armor (panoply) that surrounds my body and protects me from hateful thinking—which is an adequate line of reasoning in most cases. But in this case, when it was the body itself complaining, I had to go deeper. I saw for the first time how the panoply doesn’t encompass our body, but our consciousness. Divine Love stands between us and our very bodies, protecting us from pain.

And then I thought, even as our existence doesn’t take up any time, it also doesn’t take up any space. Consciousness doesn’t take up space. It has no dimension, no height, depth or width from a spatial point of view. Our true being has no dimension. As we exist only now, so we also only exist as the perfect iota, with no material measurement whatsoever.

We are infinitely infinitesimal.

Huh, I thought. Suddenly it became absolutely clear how divine Love could never have any problem protecting us and supplying our every need. How easy and natural it is for us to be encompassed in Love every moment, like an embryo in a womb. We are protected completely, even invulnerable to the vicissitudes of our human bodies.

I was certain my friend was in that space, or non-space. I became convinced she dwelled there in divine Love, suspended and protected in that panoply of warmth and joy. She reported back later that the experience went much better than expected—it was “like night and day” from earlier episodes of the same nature.

Infinitely infinitesimal. I’m happy to be that today.

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A psalm a day

I’ve written before about daily prayer discipline, and as I start the new year, it’s been helpful for me to re-read what I wrote. As I mentioned in December, the holidays sort of blew me away so my discipline suffered. Now I’m excited to be getting back on track. December was full of the feast of the senses; now I’m loving that I again will be feasting on Soul.

Something I added yesterday as I prayed has brought me some new inspiration. Along with reading two pages of Science and Health every day, I’ve decided to add the practice of reading a psalm every day. The book of Psalms in the Bible is full of such comfort and imagery. When I read the Psalms a feeling of peace and assurance washes over me. Who wouldn’t want that every day?

Psalm 1 did not disappoint. One of the things I usually ruminate about at the turn of the year is my financial status. You know, doing the bookkeeping to close out one year and start another, gathering the tax data, etc. Money and my various prospects can take up a lot of mental space. Well, Psalm 1 gave me the succinct and convincing answer to any worry I might feel.

Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. But his delight is in the law of the Lord; and in his law doth he meditate day and night. And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper.

--Psalm 1:1-3

I found that very comforting! Because all that’s required of me is to delight in the law of the Lord, and next thing you know, I’m a tree planted by a river and everything I do will prosper.

I love that tree by the river image. A tree by a river (especially in a desert) never runs out of what it needs. Its roots can reach right over and drink to its heart’s content. So I guess the psalm is telling me that God’s law puts me right where I need to be, and I can draw from it any time.

Thinking about God’s law was also fun. I thought about giving honest service, about helping those who work with me, about expressing Love and Mind, all the attributes of God, in my dealings with others. I don’t really need to scramble around worried about other things, those things will take care of themselves. My focus can be on God and His law, and I will be cared for.

There are 150 psalms, but I’m thinking I’ll do each section of the longer Psalm 119 as its own day, so that’s about 173 or so days. Which may or may not include weekends. And then there will be other sections of the Bible to explore, such as the Sermon on the Mount or Isaiah or Proverbs. This could take forever! Yay! And then I’ll be able to start all over again!

Such a feast. God’s goodness never stops.

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The Narnia frame of mind

Well, I never did get back on Friday to talk about Narnia, did I? Sorry about that. The one we tried to see was sold out, so we had to go later, which threw my day off…etc. etc. Hope everyone had a nice New Year.

A couple New Year offerings, then I’ll move on to Narnia.

Dear Abby had a nice column yesterday, I liked her take on resolutions. I also liked my friend Kim Korinek’s blog entry, take a look, and follow the link in her blog to the ten most common resolutions. Enlightening!

About Narnia: I have to say that usually I’m very persnickety about movies taken from books I know by heart. Anyone who knows me knows my reaction to Lord of the Rings, for example. Even Prince of Egypt took some liberties I didn’t appreciate. My issue isn’t usually with event or setting, but with character. I can’t stand it when a character I know well is changed into something he or she isn’t to suit film plot requirements or to heighten drama.

But Narnia, while not exact to the book in many ways, didn’t mess with the characters. In fact, the movie gave me some insights into the characters that I hadn’t gotten from the book (which I’ve read over 20 times).

Peter was bossy. Susan was conservative. Edmund was surly. Lucy was naive. I never saw these elements of their characters so deeply before. Yet, they all still became kings and queens. They transformed through the battle with evil, and their innate qualities of goodness prevailed.

I think the movie can be enjoyed by people from any background, but for me of course, the Christian message came through loud and clear. The sacrifice of the innocent turning back death itself. Inheriting a throne even though flawed. Having to fight evil bravely and with a united front. The icy cold of evil’s grasp, and the warm spring thaw of divine Love.

Funny, the word “movie.” It’s meant to denote something that moves within itself, i.e., moving pictures. But for me sometimes it means it moved *me.* This one was a “movie” in that regard for me. I’ve continued to think about it all weekend. About being a mere mortal, transformed into royalty. About nobility inborn in even the least of us. About childlike willingness in the faithful and the irresistible majesty of the Christ.

The Narnia frame of mind. Perhaps that’s why I keep re-reading the entire series, over and over again. It brings me to a land of wonder where I know my better self lives. It allows me to look out at the snow and know that spring will surely come.

Happy New Year--may we all find Narnia.

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