Summer camp memories, Part II

I wrote yesterday about learning to love at camp, and that it taught me how to handle mean kids when I got back to school. I left something out, though, that is probably salient.

Loving people when they’re mean includes more than just saying inside, “Oh, I love them anyway.” What I learned at camp through the application of Christian Science is that everyone is a child of God, no matter what. No one is excluded from that, even the mean kids. So what’s required in loving them is to see beyond their actions to the child of God that is there.

This was the key to my being able to love in the face of meanness. And it made sense to me. My counselors explained that I am the child of God, which I was happy to hear and willing to accept. But then they made it clear that this applied to everyone. This was a bit harder! I realized though that if I wanted to accept it for myself, I had to accept it for everyone.

Likewise, if you’re the kind of person who finds it easy to accept that other people are children of God but you have doubts about yourself, the same logic applies. God, divine Love, is the Creator, and all creation is sourced in Love. You can take credit for being sourced in Love.

So in those moments when meanness appeared, I took the initiative to disbelieve it as not part of the person before me. I had the power to not take in what the other kids did, even if they themselves thought of themselves as mean. Even as a grade-schooler, I had the authority to see through that false image and know all that was there was another child of God.

This foundational insight enabled me to love. Not the mean kid, but the child of God mistakenly acting like a mean kid. I started to employ the tactic of looking for the good in everyone. Even thought it wasn’t always directed at me, I could see that every kid had good qualities. And to me, this meant that they were connected to their Creator, Love. I gave them credit for being a child of God.

Again, I won’t say that this changed every mean kid into a nice kid. But it empowered me and made me realize my thought governs my experience. This, of course, has served me well over the years in many situations where people’s personalities got the better of them. I had the skill of seeing through it, of empathizing and understanding, and of giving them credit even beyond what they thought of themselves. Sometimes I would voice this, but more often it was my actions toward them that communicated what I thought. And, as an adult, I did see some transformation happen through this process.

Powerful lessons. Sometimes challenging to implement, always rewarding.

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Summer camp memories, Part I

Well, my son is at summer camp this week. It’s the same camp I went to when I was a kid. The camp has a new feature where I can email him, but he can’t email me back. So I’m sending off little missives, knowing he’ll appreciate hearing from me but is having way too much fun to write me that often.

I loved camp. This particular one incorporates the teachings of Christian Science into everything they do, and I can honestly say it was the place where I learned how to apply the ideas at a very early age.

For example, in grade school, I was one of the outcast kids. At our school there were enough of us to form our own little group, but we were still picked on mercilessly by some of the meaner kids. The nice kids just left us alone.

Then I went to camp. The place blew my socks off. The love that pervaded everything was like water on parched ground to me. I worshipped my counselor, a sweet college student, very 60s with long hair and beads, very pure and upbeat. I still remember her cheerful face. And I learned that Love is everywhere. That nothing can stop me from loving, and by loving, I can overcome anything.

One girl in my cabin fell in the “mean” category. I remember pegging her instantly as soon as I arrived, she had that way about her. But these counselors just loved her. And when I showed signs of not liking her, they told me I had to love her, too. That God is Love, and we really have no other choice in the matter. To obey and to express God, I had to love. I didn’t become fast friends with that girl, but I do have some old black & whites of us having fun with our cabin.

This lesson armed me for returning home to school that fall with a new tactic. I was going to love all those mean kids. Nothing they did could force me to feel about them in any other way than how I knew God wanted me to feel. No one had the power to turn me into anything other than God’s expression. I could love no matter what.

Granted, this was a secret love. I didn’t go around telling anyone what I was doing, nor do I recall any overt action of being nice to mean kids or winning them over. The important thing for me was that I no longer felt like a victim. When people are mean to you and you feel nothing but love inside, you win. Once I felt stronger, I began to look around me and realized others could use my help. Other picked-on kids got my quiet support, and some I even defended publically. I got to be better friends with some of the nice kids, too, because my attitude was less pinched and frightened and more fun and appreciative.

So camp changed me. Did me worlds of good. And I know this year, my son will come back not only with new friends, but also with deeper spiritual insight. He’s usually got a pretty cool exterior, but each year he comes home bubbling over with stories of how he triumphed over challenges and put his spirituality into practice. I can’t wait to hear about it this year!

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

--Proverbs

More about camp tomorrow.

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Dreams and visions

Newsweek had a fascinating book review in the July 25 issue called A Dream Before Dying. It described meaningful pre-death dreams, something I’d never heard about before. Here’s an example:

“In one woman's dream, a candle on her hospital windowsill is snuffed out, engulfing her in darkness—a symbol of death that scares her, until the candle spontaneously relights outside the window.”

Isn’t that cool? Her light will continue, or at least that’s what I take from it.

I was talking to a friend the other day about dreams and visions. In my experience, they’re distinctly different, although for me they both occur while I’m asleep.

Dreams I think of as my own human thinking trying to make sense of things. Unresolved issues of the day or my life will dance around each other, and strange and often amusing scenarios will play out. If I remember the dream when I awake, sometimes it gives me some clues as to how to resolve issues in my present reality. Nightmares, when I have them, remind me that some of my issues need immediate attention.

Visions, though, are different. I’ve had several powerful ones over the years, and they’ve always felt as though they were sourced in a place external to me, as though Someone higher was sending me a specific and life-changing message. I remember each of them as though they happened last night. They brought either instant physical healing or reassurance or direction. I’ve written about some of them, and will include more as I continue blogging.

So what is the explanation of these dreams / visions? As far as visions go, I believe Spirit is communicating with us constantly. Spirit never shuts off, but we need to be receptive in order to receive the message. When we are receptive, the message bursts through, and it’s so powerful our currently limited perspective requires that we receive it in symbols. Sometimes these symbols are so vivid and substantial they take the place of this mortal seeming and we feel transported to another place where Spirit reigns.

I believe the Revelator in the Bible experienced something like this -- on a much grander scale than any of my little visions! But what I find comforting is that we all have the capacity for this to some degree. Science and Health explains this in a passage you can read here.

As far as dreams go, it seems to me that the random sorting out of the day’s issues isn’t really that much different than my waking thoughts, which are often a jumble in and of themselves. Ordered, calm thought is a goal of mine. I don’t always achieve it but I know what it feels like. It feels like prayer.

I think I’m going to pick up the book Newsweek was reviewing in that article -- Dreaming Beyond Death. To me, it sounds like a record of end-of-life visions. And there’s wisdom to be gained in sharing our visions with each other.

Have you ever had a vision? Write to me about it!

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Primary love needs

I’m fascinated whenever I find works that confirm or expand on ideas I’ve found in Christian Science. One of my favorites is Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus by John Gray. The core premise of the book is basically “follow the Golden Rule in your relationships -- do unto others as you would have them do unto you,” but what he’s done is break that down to reveal how to “do unto others” when they’re different from you.

After all, “do unto others” isn’t just about doing what *we* would want to have done to us. Not everyone wants the same things, and to only do what we would want isn’t all that loving. I’ve gotten the best results when I’ve taken the time to discover what the other person values and wants, and tried to do that. Because that’s indeed what I would want myself.

The page in Gray’s book I refer to most often is the one that enumerates The Twelve Kinds of Love. Gray lists them side by side:

Women / Men

1. Caring / Trust
2. Understanding / Acceptance
3. Respect / Appreciation
4. Devotion / Admiration
5. Validation / Approval
6. Reassurance / Encouragement

Mary Baker Eddy talks in depth about the importance of showing love to each other in her chapter in Science and Health about Marriage. “Men/Mars, Women/Venus” helped me see how to show that love more effectively, both to women and to men.

This was especially helpful in my parenting. Take the first two, caring and trust. In the simple example of encouraging my children to learn how to tie their shoes, it worked best if I used entirely different approaches for my girl and for my boy. My daughter felt best when I offered to help her do it. I’d start it off, and she’d finish it. It meant a lot to her that I was there for her while she learned.

My son, who was younger, resisted this tactic when it was his turn. He never wanted my help, but wanted to do it himself. Fortunately at about this time I read Gray’s book, and discovered what my son really wanted was my trust -- my confidence that he could do it. So when he got frustrated with his Velcro or laces, I’d say, “Don’t worry! Try again! I know you can do it!” And this little vote of confidence would give him the encouragement he needed.

Of course, not every statement in Gray’s book applies 100% to every person, male or female. Gray says this himself in the introduction. But I really did find it to be eerily accurate at least about me, and I’m not even the most feminine of women. When I turned around and started treating my male friends as Gray recommends, the change was so marked one guy friend said, “What happened to you? This is great!” Apparently with a few small changes in the way I spoke to him, I was making him feel like a million bucks, and it wasn’t even that much of a stretch.

So what’s the spiritual point here? :) Love is not just a theory. It needs to be practiced, expressed, given and received to really be love. I believe that loving better on the human level teaches us deeper things about divine Love’s everpresence and omnipotence.

Demonstrable, practical Love. That’s the point.

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The river of peace

Who of us is not searching for peace? On both an individual and international scale, peace is the earnest wish of millions. How do we cultivate peace, and keep it?

For me, it starts with a redefinition of what peace is. I used to think of peace as the absence of conflict. I also thought of health as the absence of sickness, and love as the absence of indifference. But to define things by their negatives is never to discover what they really are.

There came a time then when I had to figure it out. Life had become frantic, filled with activity. Between a fulltime job, raising two kids, maintaining a home, volunteer activities and a boyfriend, every moment was assigned. A constant state of near-exhaustion alternately made me either cranky or weepy. Not surprisingly, the romantic relationship gave out. Now I had extra time on my hands, and an unexpected emptiness. Recognizing my own exhaustion, I thought I should use the time to re-enervate. But how?

Peace. The word would come to me, and I’d grasp at it, yet at first it was insubstantial, elusive. It had no substance because it was still based on its negative, the absence of conflict. And indeed my life had little conflict, it was just stretched and stressful. What was peace really?

For several months I used the time to grapple with concepts I hadn’t explored before. What am I made of? What makes me worth anything? Who loves me? As I worked out my own answers aided by the study of Christian Science, I built a more spiritual foundation for life, brick by mental brick. I redefined myself as the daughter of the King, divine Love. Spiritual growth through new ideas became a daily occurrence. And one day I realized I had found peace.

The spiritual connection I’d cultivated over those months included moments of serene confidence when Love’s presence became my only reality. As I became more practiced, I found I could turn to this presence whenever I needed reassurance or solace. It was a holy space, filled with light, steady, calm. It was always there for me, ready, substantial. The more I turned to it, the more real it became, until the vicissitudes of life no longer troubled me. My confidence that Spirit would guide me grew until I no longer doubted.

There it was. Peace.

Now I think of peace as like flowing down a river. The river is beautiful, calm in spots and exciting in others, but my confidence that the river is taking me where I need to go is never shaken. When I do not dam the river with fears or fight its flow with willfulness, I am one with it and it takes care of me. I am buoyed by its gentle waves and enjoying the ride.

This is the peace I pray will touch those in conflict today, or anyone feeling harried or anxious.

Spiritual living and blessedness are the only evidences, by which we can recognize true existence and feel the unspeakable peace which comes from an all-absorbing spiritual love.

--Science and Health

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Tares & wheat

I’d like to talk about tares and wheat today.

The kingdom of heaven is likened unto a man which sowed good seed in his field: But while men slept, his enemy came and sowed tares among the wheat, and went his way. But when the blade was sprung up, and brought forth fruit, then appeared the tares also. So the servants of the householder came and said unto him, Sir, didst not thou sow good seed in thy field? from whence then hath it tares? He said unto them, An enemy hath done this. The servants said unto him, Wilt thou then that we go and gather them up? But he said, Nay; lest while ye gather up the tares, ye root up also the wheat with them. Let both grow together until the harvest: and in the time of harvest I will say to the reapers, Gather ye together first the tares, and bind them in bundles to burn them: but gather the wheat into my barn.

--Jesus

The temporal and unreal never touch the eternal and real. The mutable and imperfect never touch the immutable and perfect. The inharmonious and self-destructive never touch the harmonious and self-existent. These opposite qualities are the tares and wheat, which never really mingle, though (to mortal sight) they grow side by side until the harvest; then, Science separates the wheat from the tares, through the realization of God as ever present and of man as reflecting the divine likeness.

--Mary Baker Eddy

The tares and wheat grow side by side, and as they grow you can’t even tell them apart. They seem almost woven together. Yet when the time comes, when harvest is near, their different natures become clear and they can be separated. The good is kept, the waste is destroyed.

I find this very comforting. It gives me the reassurance that when the time is right, those qualities of thought I need to dispense with will become obvious. I don’t have to beat myself up about them now.

Like, for example, how passionate I am. When I get involved with something or someone I love, I’m *very* enthusiastic. I throw myself into it 100%. The tares and the wheat concept explains why sometimes this is good, and sometimes it’s very very bad. And those two results, you could say, grew side-by-side within me as I worked it out.

When the time came for me to dispense with the harmful elements of being passionate, I did struggle some. This felt like the fire burning up the tares. But when it was over, all that remained was the wheat. I learned how to differentiate between constructive enthusiasm and destructive sensuality. Once I knew the difference, the false and destructive simply fell away.

So what about the sinful deeds in my past? What I love too about the tares and wheat concept is once the tares are separated out, they are destroyed, and no lasting harmful effect remains. As Mary Baker Eddy writes in her tenets of Christian Science, “We acknowledge God's forgiveness of sin in the destruction of sin and the spiritual understanding that casts out evil as unreal. But the belief in sin is punished so long as the belief lasts.”

I suffered with the effects of the tares -- heartbreak, loneliness, fear -- as they were growing alongside the better lessons I was learning -- purity, fidelity, service. But when I’d grown enough to see the tares for what they were, their destruction was swift and I was left with only the wheat. I’m still passionate about things I love, but I’m free from the darker side.

When I think about the wide world, items in the news that tell of tares growing everywhere, I remember to consider that the wheat is growing, too, and there will be a harvest that sorts it all out. This harvest happens within each one of us, day by day. The tares can’t last forever.

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"How do I stop loving him?"

Yesterday’s Dear Abby got me thinking:

TEEN IS BROKENHEARTED OVER HER LOST FIRST LOVE

DEAR ABBY: I am 15. Just 18 days before our three-month anniversary of dating, my boyfriend, "Brandon," broke up with me. He was my first love and I am heartbroken. Seeing him having fun with someone else, while I am alone and hurting, is awful. I want to be happy, but I still love Brandon and want him back.

My friends and my parents all tell me to get over him. I don't want to get over Brandon. I want to know how to get him back. I miss everything we had together. When I think about the fun we had, I break down and cry. What do I do, Abby? I'm miserable without him. How do I stop loving him? -- CRYING IN NEW JERSEY

Boy, can I relate to this young woman’s problem. Abby went on to give some good practical advice on how to pull herself together. I wanted to share what I learned when I asked God that same question: How do I stop loving him?

Many years ago I fell in love with the perfect guy. So much of the relationship was ideal -- we’d been friends for a long time first, we were interested in the same field, we shared a love of spirituality, he was cute -- I felt like God was smiling on me every time we were together.

But then, it ended -- abruptly. I went into a tailspin. Our paths continued to cross several times each week, so I saw him all the time. But there was now this huge barrier between us; he didn’t even want to be friends any longer. I did Academy Award level acting whenever he was near, and then fell apart in private.

My prayers to get over him went nowhere. I kept fixating on how wonderful he was, what great qualities he had, and how much I missed him. I couldn’t just forget him. So in desperation during one more lonely night at home, I asked God, “How do I stop loving him?”

And the answer was, You don’t.

Huh?

You don’t ever stop loving him. What you have to do is stop wanting him.

This major ah-ha moment transformed me. I sat in my apartment gazing at the walls, and loved him with all my heart. I paraded all his fine qualities before me and appreciated them. I valued all that he had given me in our time together, and was grateful. I dug deep into the bottom of my heart, and wished him well.

From then on, whenever I thought of him, I loved him. With joy and gratitude, I thought only about all that I knew was good about him. What I stopped doing was wishing obsessively that we were together. I filled my mental space with an unselfish love that demanded nothing in return. I discovered my hurt was entirely a function of my frustration that he wasn’t doing what I wanted him to do. I had been being quite selfish, really.

I began to feel full again. And over time, something interesting happened. As I appreciated his fine qualities more unselfishly, they began to appear again in my life. Other people expressed them to me; in fact, even I expressed them. The goodness I had so firmly attached to the boyfriend was actually everywhere around me. Once I got past wanting him, it turned out I didn’t need him either.

The biggest lesson? Those qualities I so loved in this man come from one divine Source. And, since that Source fills all space, those qualities do as well. As my mom had told me after the end of another relationship, “He [the guy] doesn’t own those qualities.” She knew as I was learning that every good quality is available and unchanging because it comes from divine Spirit, Love, and is spiritual. I’m never cut off from good because God loves me.

I wish I could share this directly with the young woman in New Jersey. She’s in my prayers today, along with anyone else out there who is feeling cut off from good. Love is there, healing the hurt, giving you all good continually.

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The divine Parent

Isn’t it great the way kids love to hear stories about when they were small? My son and I were talking the other day about how spiritual healing has made a difference in his life, and it recalled some experiences that he doesn’t remember but I do. So we settled in for some early childhood storytelling.

One time when he was about five, I noticed he couldn’t hear me that well. Little things made me aware of it, like I would have to talk louder and louder to get his attention. His sister, sitting farther away from me than he was, would hear me fine, but he wouldn’t. When he wasn’t looking directly at me, it was like he couldn’t hear me at all.

This was scary. The usual worst-case scenarios went through my head. I considered taking him to an ear specialist to see if what was going on, but before I did that, I thought I’d give prayer a try.

I had no idea how to pray about this though. At first, it was just, God show me what I need to know. And what came to me was to remember who my son’s Mother really was.

Christian Science taught me that God is both Father and Mother, or Father-Mother as Mary Baker Eddy put it. It’s right in her spiritual interpretation of the Lord’s Prayer: “Our Father which art in heaven, / Our Father-Mother God, all-harmonious.”

I’d often found comfort in the idea that while I was fulfilling the role of mother in my children’s life for our time here together, it is God who is the true Parent, the original Father-Mother. That divine Mother is constantly with Her children, communicating with them, guiding them, loving them.

So now, as I thought about my son’s hearing, I asked myself, Who is it that I really want him to hear? Just me? And I realized, I don’t need to make this happen -- he can always hear his Mother.

The next time he wasn’t able to hear me, I quietly said without raising my voice, “I know you can hear your Mother.” I took that moment to remember who was doing the communicating, and that my son could never be cut off from his divine Mother. Then I repeated what I’d said, still in the quiet tone. This time, he turned to me naturally.

What joy I felt! I repeated this every time there was a problem for the next few weeks. At first, it was several times a day, but gradually it tapered off until it became no longer necessary.

Now, of course, he hears fine. He loved revisiting this story with me recently, and hearing of his own receptivity to healing in his early years. And I’m grateful again to remember that even as a single parent, I’m not going it alone -- the divine Father-Mother is looking out for all of us.

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Waking thoughts

What do you think when you first wake up every day?

I didn’t used to care much about this, whatever popped into my head would suffice. Random worries about my life, anticipations for the day, plans I had, these things would occupy my thought when the alarm clock rang and I had to start a new day.

But it was about when life started catching up with me, when the things on my mind were making me miserable and I couldn’t handle it all, that first-thing-in-the-morning prayer became a habit -- in fact, a necessity.

Sometimes it’s just as simple as “Dear Father,” or “Holy Father,” which I’ll mentally call out, just to get the conversation going. (I admit I do default to thinking of God as Father.) Sometimes it’s the phrase from the end of the prodigal son story: “Thou are ever with me, and all that I have is thine,” which I hear as spoken from God’s perspective to me, very comforting.

Some other great ideas are:

• This is the day the Lord hath made, let us be glad and rejoice in it. (The Bible)
• I know no life divided, o Lord of Life from Thee (from a hymn)
• i thank You God for most this amazing day: (ee cummings)
• Dear Lord and Father of us all, forgive our foolish ways (a hymn)
• Not my will but thine be done. (The Bible)

For me, it’s not usually a long prayer, but a momentary orientation of my thinking toward Spirit. It starts the day with peace and confidence.

If you want to try this, maybe write some thoughts down and have them by your bedside for when the first morning light awakes you. Before the edge of slumber wears off, use this relaxed and comfortable space to choose an idea and contemplate, to start your day by connecting with Spirit, Love.

If you have some favorites already, I’d love to hear about them! Share them with the comments button below, or email them to me and I’ll post them.

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Harry Potter and a happy ending

Well, there’s been one thing on my mind this weekend, and it’s Harry Potter.

We got the newest book, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, at 2pm on Saturday from Amazon, two days ahead of schedule. (Yay, Amazon!) And then my son graciously allowed me to be the first to read it, as he had some outdoor plans that day.

So I read it basically straight through to late evening. Took about eight hours, but it’s now a tradition at my house to read Harry Potter books straight through once you get your hands on them.

I have to admit to being quite let down by the ending. In fact, depressed. Without giving anything away (I hope), a very favorite character is no longer with us, and another character whom I had high hopes for is the one that did the other character in. And Harry now has to face his future alone.

My heart goes out to all the kids out there, faced with this stark ending. My son’s reaction when he got to that place in the book last night was astonishment and even a few tears. Multiply this by the millions of kids who got the book over the weekend, and to me it goes beyond mere fictional angst. There’s going to be a lot of upset kids out there this week. Instant messaging and teen weblogs are already buzzing from what I can see.

So what’s a message we can give to comfort the kids? The message of the book is clearly that Harry, who is the “Chosen One,” is being set up to go it alone. He has to face what’s ahead on his own strength and merits (although there are still close friends who vow to stick by him).

Harry’s short life has included one loss after another. Many people sacrifice their lives for him so he can go on, which is noble, yet he has to lose them in the process.

So maybe one point we can make to our kids is, This is fiction, a story, made up out of one person’s mind. In real life, you’re never abandoned, never alone. In reality, there is no abandonment, for there is a divine Parent we can all count on.

While I can’t speak to the universe in J.K. Rowling’s mind or what principles she believes governs it, I can speak with more authority on our own universe. Inspiration, faith and understanding have led humanity to discover that Spirit governs. The one God, discovered by Abraham, followed by Jacob, celebrated by David, embodied by Jesus, explained by Mary Baker Eddy, is not fiction. God is good, and protects those who serve Him. Useless, random death is not a part of His plan. And kids can count on that.

I’ve been a devotee of Harry Potter since the beginning, and I’ve enjoyed every minute of the unfolding story -- up until the last few pages. My hopes for the final book are that redemption and victory will be the final word for all the characters.

To her credit, in Rowling’s latest there is a strong emphasis on love as the one thing Harry has that his enemies don’t. This is also a theme we can build on to comfort young readers. Love is more powerful than hate. Victory is always on the side of Love.

In their own lives, as in Harry Potter, real children in today's world can be witnesses to how Love gives every story a happy ending.

No power can withstand divine Love.

--Science and Health

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When your kid does something wrong

A version of the below appeared yesterday in The Christian Science Monitor.

“I’m just a bad person!” my daughter sobbed over the phone.

She was calling from her high school cafeteria. As she blurted out her story, I had to think pretty fast -- she’d committed a real no-no.

A big project that had been due before winter break had somehow not gotten turned in, so she’d agreed to mail it to her teacher. Then the holidays frankly drove it out of her mind.

When faced with her annoyed teacher on the first day back at school, some sort of flight instinct kicked in. Rather than admit she’d blown it, she made up a story about the mailed item being returned to us. The teacher, suspicious of this story (I wonder why!), said she’d be calling me to confirm.

She then spent the next couple periods quietly freaking out. Eventually she couldn’t take it anymore, so she went to her teacher and fessed up. Now on the phone with me during lunch, she was totally disgusted with herself. “I’m just plain bad!” was her anguished conclusion.

When moments like these come, you realize as a parent there's no guidebook that's going to tell you just what to say. Sure, she needed to learn from this so she wouldn't do anything like it again, but at the same time I wanted her to feel better about herself. So, as she sobbed, I prayed for an answer.

Turning to prayer for parental advice had worked many times before. In fact, ever since my daughter was born, I had tried to see her as not just my daughter, but as the child of the divine Parent that created us both. This is a Parent who doesn't need a master's degree in child development to always recommend the right course of action. This is a Parent who knows both of us so well that perfect and complete guidance is instantly available.

And this Parent is divine. This passage from Science and Health has often reassured me of my relationship to the Divine: "Father-Mother is the name for Deity, which indicates His tender relationship to His spiritual creation." This concept of Deity being there for both of us, on either end of the phone line, got me moving on the right path.

I took a breath and started with, “Oh, honey.” Those words serve as my entrée whenever I need to remember how much I love this young woman, how precious she is to me, how much good I know about her. The “Oh, honey” moment reorients us both. It’s a little promise we’re going to solve this together. But the next words surprised me.

“Honey," I said, "you can’t be bad. When doing something bad makes you miserable, that means you’re good. God made you good, and your feeling crummy about this is actually a good sign.”

Even as I said those words, I saw the truth in them. It's our innate goodness that protests when we find ourselves doing something out of character with that goodness. That same divine Parent who was loving her and guiding me created everyone in His/Her image and likeness, entirely good and perfect.

My daughter could feel the truth of this idea, too. Her voice calmed down, and she began to give herself a little more credit. She still had the project to turn in, and she probably wouldn't get a good grade on it, but she'd learned something from the process. She learned, at a time in her life when the stakes were low, exactly why lying was a bad idea -- it was out of sync with her true being, so it made her feel bad about herself. She now had a stronger reason to adhere to honesty, and I knew this lesson had sunk in. The punishment was appropriate for the crime.

And what did I learn? I learned that as a parent it's not always our job to prevent or punish mistakes, but it is our privilege to encourage mistakes to become blessings.

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A Friend in need

"A friend in need is a friend indeed."
English proverb

Someone asked me if I had any stories about friends who disappoint or don’t treat you very well. This brought to mind a flood of memories, of good friends who couldn't always be there for me 100%, of bad friends who betrayed me egregiously, of people I thought were friends who turned out to be merely acquaintances, and acquaintances who turned out to be loyal and attentive friends.

And it reminded me of a passage attributed to Mary Baker Eddy:

We should remember that the world is wide; that there are a thousand million different human wills, opinions, ambitions, tastes, and loves; that each person has a different history, constitution, culture, character, from all the rest; that human life is the work, the play, the ceaseless action and reaction upon each other of these different atoms. Then, we should go forth into life with the smallest expectations, but with the largest patience; with a keen relish for and appreciation of everything beautiful, great, and good, but with a temper so genial that the friction of the world shall not wear upon our sensibilities; with an equanimity so settled that no passing breath nor accidental disturbance shall agitate or ruffle it; with a charity broad enough to cover the whole world's evil, and sweet enough to neutralize what is bitter in it, — determined not to be offended when no wrong is meant, nor even when it is, unless the offense be against God.

--"Taking Offence," Miscellaneous Writings

A tall order, I admit. But it has helped me keep things in perspective. We don’t always know the slings and arrows in our friends' lives that make them behave the way they do. One moment of stress can tip a relationship off balance unintentionally; a lifetime of overcoming hardship can make a person staunch and unwavering one moment yet weak and unreliable the next.

I've had my moments of being very deeply hurt, almost always because I misjudged the totality of a friend's affection for me. Or rather, misjudged the ability of my friend to read my mind and know exactly what I needed. I think this is a function of the fact that we choose our friends. Our family or work associates are given to us, but who we let in as a friend is our own doing. To me then, being disappointed by a friend was always bitter.

Yet there have also been the moments of love unlooked for, unexpected gestures of support from people peripheral to me. I believe now that God sends the friends we need. If we free ourselves from needing things from particular people and look to God, He will send the one right interaction that comforts or encourages us. Good is surrounding us and upholding us continually. We move through this ether of good eternally. To believe it's attached to those we've labeled "friends" and unavailable elsewhere is to limit the good we can experience.

One evening many years ago, I was exhausted and needed support. I had a huge presentation to give to about a hundred people in a few hours, and days had gone into the preparation. Yet when the time came, I could barely get out of bed. What I really wanted was someone to pray for me. A quick flip through my Rolodex (remember those?) revealed no one. No one answered my calls. I felt isolated and alone.

I dragged myself to my meeting. Somehow I gathered the strength to smile and greet people, all the time wondering how I was going to get through the presentation. Then, inexplicably, about five minutes beforehand, I felt a surge of energy. The presentation went well, people were inspired, and I went home exhilarated.

When I got home, there was a message on my machine. A dear voice of a spiritual mentor across the country bubbled forth. She had had a sudden intuition to give me a call and let me know how much she appreciated the work I was doing, although she knew nothing about that specific event. She had called about the time I was greeting people at the presentation, so that's when I had been in her thoughts. Her mental support had made the difference. When I called to tell her what happened, we rejoiced together. She was my friend in need.

Your friends in need might be unexpected people or might be your dearest friends. The thing to remember is that God is your Best Friend, and all friendship is an expression of His love. It's always there for you, in one form or another. God is your Friend in need.

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Daily discipline

Today I'd like to make a plug for the discipline of daily spiritual study and prayer.

There are several things I try to do daily: study a weekly Bible Lesson, ponder a section of my class notes with its associated passages in the Bible and Mary Baker Eddy's writings, review several prayerful passages, read two pages of Science and Health with my reading group, and now I've added the "God grid."

This contemplation is my preparation for the day. I don't use it to think about my problems or those of other people, but to open my thought to what God wants to teach me today. And every day I come away with new insights.

The importance of this to me is that it readies me to face my own life and to help others. On days when I skip it or shorten it, I'm less prepared, less on top. On days when I embrace it fully, I have the jumpstart I need to do the most good.

So there's no particular virtue involved. In a way, it's almost selfish, and it would stay that way if I didn't use it for good. But God doesn't give you His treasures and then let you squirrel them away. They're to be shared -- to go forth and multiply.

A daily discipline doesn't have to take time. It can start out small, with just a simple prayer first thing or a favorite book to contemplate.

I'd love to know -- what's your daily discipline?

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Death never wins: Life is Spirit

Some time ago, some dear friends of mine were expecting a baby. Everything was going along fine, mother and child were healthy and strong. Then, during the delivery, a highly unusual and very brief difficulty occurred, and the baby didn’t survive.

I’d never even heard of such a thing ever happening before. This wee little one was out of my life—I never even got to meet her. Her parents showed a great deal of spiritual grace and strength in sharing the news with friends and family, but my shock still went very deep. I was frankly devastated.

And then I got mad. What kind of messed up world resulted in things like this? Couldn’t that simple of a thing be turned around by God’s good grace?

I’d never tried to pray when I was that angry before, but I had to this time. I was completely shaken, and I needed answers. So I turned to God in anger and said, Well, what about it?

The immediate answer I got was that Life is Spirit. Basically, I felt that God, Spirit, told me, “I am that little girl’s Life.”

What did that mean? I dug deeper. This took a few days, actually. But I began to wrap my head around the truth that Life is Spirit. That this material seeming isn’t really Life. It is a counterfeit of what Life really is. God is Life, and God is Spirit. Matter -- the entire material universe -- isn't involved.

That wee material form that was my friends’ baby was not her life. Even if she had been born safely, that baby-form could never begin to represent her true being as a creation of divine Spirit.

I have my own true being unrelated to the material form I’m apparently living in now. In fact, all of us are so much more than we seem, so much more than the physical senses are telling us. Are we young or old? Big or small? Male or female? All these are only physical data points. They are not the final word.

As I went deeper and deeper into this prayer of acknowledgement, I began to get glimpses of my friends’ baby, revealed in a whole new way. In a spiritual way, I began to see the joy, the laughter, the warmth of this little girl. Gradually, that became my picture of reality for her.

The loss I felt at never meeting her fell away as rejoicing over her true being took its place. And at one point, I even felt I could see her smiling at me. And then of course, I could let the anger go.

I saw that God’s great goodness makes it certain that each one of us is safe in His care spiritually. This is what an omnipotent God provides. It’s unavoidable, and it’s spiritual.

I began to see that the anger I felt was not really toward God, although He redeemed my anger with Truth. The anger I felt was really toward the huge lie that is materiality. This lie is the source of all suffering, but it is a lie. It needs us to disbelieve it for truth to reign harmonious in our thinking and our lives.

I now believe that the disappointments, the horrors, of this material life are the very things that reveal its unreality. After all, if we didn’t have the disappointments, we’d be happy to exist here forever, never knowing our true being. But the transitory nature of material life is the very thing that impels us to reach Spiritward in our search for peace and harmony.

Here’s what the baby’s father told me later about what he learned: “I realized that 9/11's or tsunamis happen on smaller scales in people’s lives every day. And, for me, having a spiritual understanding of God to turn to was the ONLY answer to healing the overwhelming suffering. I realized that you can't necessarily stop pain, but you can heal the suffering--which is what I call remembering the pain over and over again.”

I still get angry sometimes about death, about suffering, but my anger is not toward God. What I want now is to be part of waking people up to the truth of spiritual reality, so that death and suffering lose their hold on us forever.

This is possible, every time you or I choose Spirit as our Life. Every time we do this, we are part of unclasping the hold of matter over the lives of both ourselves and the world. I think this is the #1 most effective thing we can do to reduce suffering and bring peace to this world, step by step.

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Love is the final word

As our beloved friends in London today begin to identify their dead, my heart reaches out to them. How can I give comfort? How can my prayers help with their grief? How do you pray for an entire country?

I remember the first time I felt overwhelmed this way. It was after the Oklahoma City bombings, where so many children were taken from us. I was channel surfing one night, and came on a station that was airing, with mournful music playing, each of the faces of the victims. A new one would come on every few seconds, beautiful pictures of innocent happy faces, now lost to us. My anguish gathered momentum, and I found myself weeping.

What had happened to these people? I prayed. Where are they now? Do they miss us? Are they sad? Are they scared? How can I help them?

I had to turn to the great heart of Love for the answer. The Love that fills all space, that fills every moment. And in truth those dear ones had always been in the embrace of Love. This Love knows no violence, no evil intent. This Love is secure unto itself.

I began to think of the children as having been catapulted right into the arms of Love. I pictured them seeing hearing feeling only Love, holding them up and comforting them. In fact, they had always been there, and I prayed that now they could feel it, wherever they were.

And I prayed for the families, that they too would feel that Love. I know there was so much love poured out toward them from their communities and our country, and this is an expression of the everpresence of infinite Love. We can live Love to each other with our prayers and caring.

I sent forth this prayer of Love, striving to envelop all of that city with its overarching embrace. It's the same prayer I sent forth at 9/11, at Bali, at Madrid, at the tsunamis. It’s the prayer I cling to whenever I hear of mass tragedies -- the prayer that Love went before, is there during, and remains after whatever moments of destruction appear to bring.

The destruction is not the final word -- Love is.

Remember, thou canst be brought into no condition, be it ever so severe, where Love has not been before thee and where its tender lesson is not awaiting thee.

--Mary Baker Eddy

Visit a London prayer page.

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The best Friday night ever

London is still very much on my mind, but I wanted to write this in honor of the weekend.

Friday night, and I actually had a date.

My kids were still small, and I longed to find a dad for them. But dates were few and far between in those years in Los Angeles. When a friend set me up with a cute lawyer, I thought, this might be it! We went on a hiking first date, I had a great time, and he suggested we make plans for the following Friday.

I looked forward to it all week. He was funny, successful, attractive. I arranged Friday evening activities for both kids, spent hours planning my best hottie-but-not-desparate outfit, worked out every day, giggled to myself occasionally.

He never called to confirm though. 6pm Friday rolled by, both kids already gone and the house feeling lonely. 7pm. Finally I called to check with him, got a machine. 7:30. 7:45. The phone rang; he couldn't make it, something about having to be with his father. "No problem!" I murmured, knowing I wouldn't hear from him again.

Disappointed and feeling ridiculous, I succumbed a bit to self-pity. Some quick phone calls proved that it was too late now, all my single adult friends were already out for the evening. And I was in no mood to hang out with a married couple. The evening stretched before me, without even the comfort of my wee ones' arms and laughter to keep me company. Channel surfing left me hollow, there were no contraband calories in the house -- nothing.

When the pout and tears started to form, I knew I had to change things around. Didn't want to waste the evening further. So I took it to my Daddy.

"Lord, what's going to become of me?" I prayed. "Will I ever be happy?"

The answer came swift: God has the best Friday night planned for you, better than you could ever imagine. Wait for it.

Surprised at this answer, I did just that. I sat on the couch and waited. Disappointment changed to anticipation, and then to genuine wonder when the phone rang.

It was someone needing help. I had started my healing practice a few months before, and this person knew I was available to pray for them. I heard their story, was filled with love for them, and promised to pray. The phone rang again. More love and compassion filled my evening. Another call. Three different people needed prayer and love from me that night.

I became so filled with Love nothing else mattered. And I learned that when you express Love, you experience it, so you've got it, too. God is Love, and all these prayer transactions were His way of loving me, too. It was the best evening ever.

God has the best evening / weekend / day / month / year planned for you. Wait for it.

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See the city: Pray for London

See another blog entry for London prayer for today.

Oh, how I love London. My heart yearns with love for that bustling energized city, where the inexorable march of progress has never made it be anything less than itself. London has absorbed all changes, from Romans to Normans, to Blitzkriegs and the Beatles, being changed but never changing. It will triumph today, as news of tragedy confronts them but will not defeat them.

London is still and always will be --

• the birthplace of democracy with the groundbreaking innovation of the parliamentary system,
• the nursery of literature and ideas as the crucible for Dickens, Shakespeare and the like,
• the schoolyard of diplomacy throughout countless wars and empires,
• the familial hearth of character and heroism with queens and kings, Cromwells and Churchills shaping and influencing the globe.
  

Now as I hear the news of the Tube explosions, I remember how much my life today owes to London as the crossroad of history, the willing recipient of all the world's troubles, the front line of debate on progress. I remember with gratitude the irascible tenacity of passionate men and women who laid down their lives so that I could live as I do today. It's a worthy study, the history of this town, where time and time again leaders and commoners rose to the challenge of forging a new path in thought and practice at the expense of tradition, yet maintained those legacies that bring it virtue and strength.

This is just one American's view, a view filled with love today. I know London will absorb, change, yet stay itself, even as New York and Madrid have done. I know London will rise to the challenge and serve back progress and resolve.

Mary Baker Eddy writes about the book of Revelation: "Note this, — that the very message, or swift-winged thought, which poured forth hatred and torment, brought also the experience which at last lifted the seer to behold the great city, the four equal sides of which were heaven-bestowed and heaven-bestowing." (Science and Health)

I want to see the great city. Today I'm seeing it as London.

To join a London prayer group, click here.
For a London prayer for today, click here.

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This one's waking up

One time when we lived in LA, a virulent flu was going around. A lot of people we knew got it and we heard a lot of stories about how long it took to recover -- for some, almost three weeks, and this was with the shots. Our family's experience with it, though, is one I wouldn’t trade for anything.

The kids remember that day as the one where Mom brought home a bird. I had been visiting an elderly friend. As I walked back to the car, I passed a bush where I saw a little sparrow of some kind. It took one look at me and flew to my shoulder. Startled, I talked to it a bit, then carefully encouraged it to jump on my finger. I placed it back on the bush. It twittered, and came back to my shoulder.

I have seldom been more delighted. I adore birds. Mary Baker Eddy refers to them as symbolizing soaring aspirations, and I feel this whenever I see a bird in flight. This one wanted to be my friend. So, I took it home with me. It moved around my sweater as I drove and quietly hopped around my living room once I got home. The kids were entranced as I showed them how to feed it and to be careful with it.

Shortly after this, all three of us began to feel poorly. Our evening wound down with us putting the birdie to bed in a little box and slogging ourselves upstairs. The nausea was hitting me, but I did NOT want to throw up. I fought the feeling over and over, realizing too that my pre-teen daughter was struggling in the next room while my younger son slept fretfully in my room with me.

My prayer started slow but momentum built as the night wore on. I reiterated in thought the truths I knew: God is all, I am God's image and likeness, sickness does not come from God, God is all power, sickness has no power over me. These ideas sunk in. Then I reached a point where my feverish thinking became poised between two states -- seeing myself as material, and seeing myself as spiritual. I stopped resisting, stopped willing anything to happen -- or not to happen. I completely relaxed, and thought: Well, okay, my body can do what it wants. I'm going to stay here with Spirit. In effect, I turned off my connection to my body.

As I floated there, spiritual reality became substance to me. I felt detached and free. I felt suspended yet supported. And suddenly the realization came to me: I have no body.

It's hard to describe the certainty I felt at that moment. I knew, felt, perceived, understood that my true being has no material body, that my being is an emanation of Spirit and therefore spiritual. All physical sensation left me. I was surrounded by joy and light.

What happened next will never leave me. It came to me in symbols as revelations often do. It was like the scene from the Disney movie, Lion King (which we had at home and had watched many times as small children are wont to do). In the beginning, the newborn lion cub is held up up for all the animals to see and greet with cheering.

Well, in my vision, I was the one being held up by strong radiant hands, and the holy host of heaven was spread out before me. They were glowing beings of light, and I still had no specific body. And I heard a voice behind me saying, This one's waking up! And the heavenly host began cheering.

What a welcome! I basked in it for a time, then found myself gently returning to earth. I was back in my body, in my bed, but completely well. Fever, nausea, gone. Joy and peace, restored. I checked on both the kids, they slept peacefully. My daughter later told me of her own prayers and healing that night. My son simply jumped out of bed the next morning wanting to visit the bird.

Our bird stayed with us a few more days. We put it outside on our porch every day with food nearby, and it began to make the acquaintance of a few other sparrows. Then, one day, it flew off with them.

Soaring aspirations. Freedom from the body. Waking up.

An inspiration I'll never forget.

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Happy marriage!

I went to a precious event over the weekend; the celebration of a couple's 25^th anniversary. The proceedings included a reenactment of their wedding, this time incorporating their beautiful almost grown daughters. The reenactment, staged by the daughters and other relatives, was a surprise to the couple, and quite touching. They participated heartily, and I could see that they were reviewing the words to themselves and measuring their vows against the last 25 years.

And I know this couple. They are true blue, one of the amazing marriages it's been my privilege to know. Listening to those vows they made so long ago, and realizing here was a couple who had kept those vows, gave me hope for marriage and for the world. It is possible to succeed at marriage.

Later, there were tributes to the couple. The wife's sister gave a lovely toast that included some of the things she'd learned from knowing them that I wanted to share here:

• Laughter fixes almost everything.
• Commitment is sometimes more important than love.
• Don't commit your spouse to anything without talking to the spouse first.
• No one is more important than your mate.
• Parenthood is a phenomenal privilege.
• Gratitudes are an amazing addition to any meal.
• If you fall in love with a person's character, you will be in love for life.
• Be affectionate with each other in front of your children.
• My family is your family for the asking.
• Again, laughter fixes most problems.

(shared with permission)

I especially loved the idea about commitment and the falling in love with character concept. The sister also emphasized laughter. I also saw with my own eyes at this event how important this last point is: marriage is meant to be happy. All the marriages at this event were examples of happy ones. How refreshing, and what an inspiration.

Coincidentally, I’m currently reading the chapter on Marriage with my Science and Health Reading Group. And I've been struck again with how many times the book's author, Mary Baker Eddy, refers to happiness throughout her chapter. It’s a short one, only 14 or so pages, but almost every page is dotted with words like happiness, cheer, smiles, enjoyments, joys, gladdens. It's almost as though she's saying happiness is a requirement for marriage to work.

This comforts me, because so many times in my past I've thought happiness is a luxury, something that we only get after we've slogged through every other spiritual, moral, emotional and practical requirement. I've thought of happiness as something to earn, as something I had to deserve.

But now I think of happiness as a divine right. God made me a happy, I can stay that way through deeper knowledge of Him and His will for me.

I'd really recommend that chapter on Marriage if you haven't seen it. I know this couple whom we were celebrating have used it as a guide throughout their married life. It's got good counsel for any relationship, really.

Thank you to that wonderful family for sharing their precious time with me.

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Thanks to Franklin

Today, in honor of the US Independence Day, I want to say "thank you" to my favorite Founding Father -- Ben Franklin.

I've always loved Franklin's wit and sparkle, but it wasn't until I read Walter Isaacson's biography, Benjamin Franklin: An American Life, that I got a deeper appreciation for the man and his contribution to the formation of this country. I'm not sure we'd be here today without him.

Sure, I've read biographies of Adams, Jefferson, Washington, Paul Revere. These men were essential to the birthing process as well, but primarily because they so distinctly represented particular points of view. Franklin was the great mediator, bringing all sides together and insisting that they talk to one another. Without his artistry, the sides would have continued in disagreement and disunity.

Franklin himself represented the common man. (Women were underrepresented all around.) He strove for the results that would improve the lives of the common man, and build a strong society of free-thinkers and entrepreneurs. He laid the foundation for individual self-determination and unlimited possibilities. As a single mom in the 21^st century, I sit here the grateful recipient of these blessings.

So I really like the guy. Here are some passages from the Isaacson book:

"In both his life and his writings, Franklin became a preeminent proponent of [a] creed of tolerance."

"He believed in having the humility to be open to different opinions. For him that was not merely a practical virtue, but a moral one as well. It was based on the tenet, so fundamental to most moral systems, that every individual deserves respect. … Compromisers may not make great heroes, but they do make democracies."

"Franklin's belief that he could best serve God by serving his fellow man may strike some as mundane, but it was in truth a worthy creed that he deeply believed and faithfully followed."

"His focus tended to be on how ordinary issues affect everyday lives, and on how ordinary people could build a better society."

"…[H]e trusted the hearts and minds of his fellow leather-aprons more than he did those of any inbred elite. He saw middle-class values as a source of social strength, not as something to be derided. His guiding principle was a 'dislike of everything that tended to debase the spirit of the common people.' Few of his fellow founders felt this comfort with democracy so fully, and none so intuitively."

The book's a good read and in the spirit of the day. I still have to grab 1776 by David McCullough -- probably next year I'll write about that!

Happy Fourth!

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God grid

Yesterday I started something that has already proven fruitful. I created a "God grid."

Basically, I drew a grid on a piece of paper, and labeled the two axis with terms for God that I've found in Science and Health. For example, all the words in the definition of God:

• incorporeal
• divine
• supreme
• infinite
• Mind
• Soul
• Spirit
• Principle
• Life
• Truth
• Love

and I added a few others for good measure:

• Father-Mother
• Christ
  
• one
• omnipresent
• omniscient
• omnipotent

These words go along the edges of the grid, so there's sort of a cross-matrix of concepts.

Then I took a pen, closed my eyes, waved the pen over the paper, and dropped it down. The mark I made was at the intersection of the terms "Soul" and "Life," so that became my new assignment, to contemplate these two concepts together.

I'd never thought of these two together before, so I had a lot of fun dwelling on the beauty, joy, art, color of Soul combined with the animated, energetic, never-ending, buoyant qualities of Life. Since God is one, these concepts are one and exist together, neither ever existing without the other. Where Soul is, Life is.

I've often felt that by enlarging our concept of God, we learn more about creation, and about ourselves. So this is just my little exercise to keep myself exploring.

Picture me waving my pen over the paper every morning, and you won't be far off!

Have a great weekend, everyone.

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