Go where God leads

"I have to give up the life I had planned
in order to embrace the life that awaits me."

--Joseph Campbell

I love that quote. And it reminds me of a letter I sent some time ago to one who had written to me about trying to decide what to do about their business:

**********************************

Thanks for your letter, I'm glad you felt you could write to me.

What you're going through sounds familiar to me. It mirrors a time in my life where I had to face a similar situation. It turned out I had a spiritual lesson to learn that has stayed with me.

Like you, at one point in my career I had an idea. I am sure it came from God -- not because of the results, but because of where it led me. Sometimes ideas come to us and they lead us in unexpected directions. This can be God's plan for us, even if things don't turn out as we think they will.

Anyway, my idea was to follow my dream and go to Hollywood and become a film producer. I had experience in theater, I was a writer, and I had always wanted to do this. Looking back at the way things have turned out, I believe that strong desire was planted in my heart so that I would do it... but it definitely didn't turn out as expected :)

So I went West and spent four years exploring the film industry. I even got a job in entertainment marketing where I made lots of contacts. In the meantime, though, I was learning and growing spiritually. Maybe I needed to be on my own and in that tough environment to really learn I could lean on God. Eventually, though, I hit a wall. I could make no progress. Every job interview went nowhere. Every script went nowhere. And I had to do the hardest thing. I had to change my priorities.

Were my priorities going to stay fame and fortune, worldy success? Or would I change to serving God, something that had been becoming increasingly important to me? Then, an irresistible offer came my way -- but it was for a job in another industry. This would force me to give up my dreams of Hollywood, but it would allow me more time to study and pray and get close to God. I kicked and struggled, but followed this irresistible impulse, and left entertainment for the new job.

That job lasted for just a little more than a year, but by the end of it, I knew where God had been leading me the whole time -- into the healing practice. I became a Christian Science practitioner. Unbelievable! If you had told me that was God's plan five years earlier, I would have said, No way! But that was the deal.

My point is, every step along the way God was guiding me. And no time was wasted -- I learned things along the way that are invaluable to me now in His service. What I had to be willing to do was give up my own notions about what the plan was and instead follow God's lead.

He has amazing things in store for you that you might not be able to imagine right now. Your time working on your business has not been wasted -- you have learned a tremendous amount that will increase your value to whomever you wind up working with going forward. Claim your spiritual substance, which is all you've learned about God and your relationship to Him, and know that that can never be taken from you, and in fact you will continue to build on it.

After all, what are God's ideas? A Hollywood career? A business? Not big enough! The real ideas that God is sending to us are about our spiritual potential, the idea that through Christ we can do anything. It's not the business or the movies -- it's the daily new opportunity to express Him in myriad forms and unlooked for ways.

I hope this has helped some. I believe in you because I know God believes in you -- He made you! Please keep me posted, and feel free to write back any time.

******************************

God is leading each one of us, day by day. Where is God leading you today?

Desire is prayer; and no loss can occur from trusting God with our desires, that they may be moulded and exalted before they take form in words and in deeds.

--Science and Health

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Memorial Day inspiration

Eulogy for a Veteran
Author Unknown

Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the mornings hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
of quiet birds in circled flight,
I am the soft stars that shine at night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there, I did not die.

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With all appreciation for those who have given their lives for freedom, I'd like to share these words as well:

"Work out your own salvation," is the demand of Life and Love, for to this end God worketh with you. "Occupy till I come!" Wait for your reward, and "be not weary in well doing." If your endeavors are beset by fearful odds, and you receive no present reward, go not back to error, nor become a sluggard in the race.

When the smoke of battle clears away, you will discern the good you have done, and receive according to your deserving.

--Science and Health

Well done, thou good and faithful servant: thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord.

--Matthew 25:21

Of course I'm thinking too of those dear friends of mine who are serving even now in the armed forces, and I hope they know my love and support goes with them.

If you'd like to leave a message here about a loved one's service to their country, please feel free. Also, Dear Abby has a special page to send letters to the military who are now in service. They're inspiring to read, too.

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Part VI: The Christ

Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V, Part VI, Part VII

So how is it we’re able to do this? You might think that we’re so mired in the evidence of the physical senses that there’s no way the reality of God and His creation can get through to us. How is it we’re able to perceive spiritual reality at all? Well, there is a communication tool that is part of God’s creation that speaks to us directly. You could think of it as the conduit for all information about God, Spirit. It’s the essence of our connection to God, the medium over which His messages come to us.

You will have heard of this property in many other ways from many other faith traditions. You will even have heard the word I’m about to use in vastly different contexts. But what I want to emphasize is that like the concept of God I discussed earlier, the definition of this word also deserves to be dislodged from a merely human concept and expanded into a fully spiritual one. This word in its unlimited definition is the way to truth, the door to reality, “the light [that] shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not” (John 1:5).

What I’m talking about of course is the Christ. Christian Science explains the Christ in Science and Health as: “the true idea voicing good, the divine message from God to men speaking to the human consciousness.” This “divine message” is available and is in fact communicating with each one of us, daily, hourly, minute-by-minute. Because it’s a property of creation, you don’t have to qualify for receiving its messages -- they’re coming to you non-stop.

Of course, many teachings associate the Christ strictly with Jesus, and Christian Science also acknowledges Jesus’ unique role in history as the Messiah, the one who showed us the Way. But even he said, “Before Abraham was, I am” (John 8:58). He couldn’t have been speaking of himself as Jesus son of Mary, but as the representative of the Christ, which is eternal.

And this same Christ has extended through time and space to be able to reach you, right where you are. You don’t have to do anything to connect with it, in fact, you probably are often connecting with it already. Ever experience intuition? Or a sudden desire to do something nice for someone? Or a stroke of intelligence that surprises you? I’d say that my ah-ha moments I’ve told you about were the presence of the Christ in my life.

You can cultivate this connection with the Christ, first, by acknowledging it’s there, then by extrapolating what you know about God as perfect and you as His creation as perfect to make deeper inspiration even more possible. Science and Health can explain how.

Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V, Part VI, Part VII

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Part V: Healing example

Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V, Part VI, Part VII

Let me give you another example. There was a time when I was experiencing very strong ringing in one ear. This went on for months. During the day when there was other ambient noise it didn’t bother me so much, but at night when I tried to get to sleep or whenever I had some quiet time when I was trying to pray, it was a huge distraction. It was interfering with all my peace.

So again, I turned to prayer as I’ve learned it in Christian Science. Now, this was a bigger problem than the infected finger (in Part III), so it took more on my part to solve. I had to really dig in deeply to the spiritual concepts, and go beyond just reading the words or thinking about them. I had to displace my fears about my hearing with the truth about my being.

Science and Health was a huge help. For example, it says,

• Sight, hearing, all the spiritual senses of man, are eternal. They cannot be lost. Their reality and immortality are in Spirit and understanding, not in matter, — hence their permanence. (p. 486)
• EARS. Not organs of the so-called corporeal senses, but spiritual understanding. (p. 585)
• If the medium of hearing is wholly spiritual, it is normal and indestructible. (p. 214)
• How can man, reflecting God, be dependent on material means for knowing, hearing, seeing? (p. 489)

These ideas calmed me down, and I really strived to understand what they meant on a deeply spiritual level.

As the weeks proceeded, I gained a stronger and stronger conviction that God was right there with me, and that I would be cured. I’d read that this kind of problem is considered incurable, but I wasn’t going to accept that. It didn’t fit in with starting with perfect God and perfect creation. I am part of that creation, and I wasn’t going to settle for anything less than perfection.

Interestingly, my transformation of thought came after a dream I had. I dreamed I was listening to some depressing music. And I thought in my dream, I don’t want to be depressed, so I’m going to change the music to something happier. And the music in the dream changed. Now, there was no CD or any other implement in the dream to play the music, I just changed my mind about what I wanted to hear, and what I heard in the dream changed. This happened a couple more times in the dream, and then I woke up.

And I realized, it was as Science and Health had said -- my hearing was not dependent on my ears. I had heard those songs in my thinking totally unrelated to what my physical ears were receiving. This was another huge ah-ha moment for me. And in that moment, I lost my fear about my hearing.

The ringing persisted for a few more weeks, but I was no longer afraid of it. I placed all my trust in the true omnipotence, God. The final straw came when the ringing tried to switch ears. This just made me laugh. I don’t remember it bothering me at all after that, and it hasn’t since.

So here again, what happened was I displaced in my thought the false evidence of the senses with the truth about God and His creation. And this destroyed the false evidence to the point that I no longer experienced it on any level.

Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V, Part VI, Part VII

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Part VII: Why I am a Christian Scientist

Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V, Part VI, Part VII

Let me leave you with one more example where I really felt the presence of the Christ.

I was roller-blading in Southern California, on the bike-path at the beach. Now, I’m no expert at this, but I do enjoy the rhythm and the wind through my hair. The bike path is long and flat and perfect for my level of blading. But then I met my nemesis, a one-inch pebble. I imagine an experienced skater would have recovered, but this stone, when it caught my front wheel, stopped me cold.

And down I went, landing squarely on my tailbone. Winded, I lay there for a moment, and then I found I couldn’t even sit up. I had to crawl off the path into some grass nearby. I was near a park area, and there were many people around, but none of them seemed to have noticed what happened. As I lay on the grass, I became aware that I’d scraped up my arm, but more unnerving was the sensation that I was losing all feeling in my feet and hands.

Now, I had no desire for this to turn into something big, some major injury. I could have called for help, but I didn’t. Instead, as I had so many times before, I turned to God. I just turned to Him100%, with everything I knew and felt about Him. I mentally turned from any concern about my physical condition. I turned from the evidence of the physical senses entirely. I filled my thought with perfect God, which included omnipotent Love, infinite Spirit, unshakable Truth. These concepts became for me more real than what the senses were trying to fool me with.

I remember lying there, convinced of God’s benevolence, even as I looked up at the sky. The sky in Southern California is often clear unbroken blue, and it was that way that day. And it was about all I could see from my vantage point lying flat on the ground. I stared straight up at it, and was filled with a conviction that even as this sky covered all that I could see, God filled all space in my being. There was nothing else for me in those moments of deep, joyful prayer.

I think only a few minutes went by, and I sat up. My hands and feet felt normal again. And suddenly I became aware of a little five year old girl crouching next to me. She looked up at me with big caring eyes and said, “I guess you need some more practice, huh?” Of course this made me laugh! And convinced me even more of God’s loving care for me -- this little one had been watching over me the whole time. I asked her parents for some water to wash off my arm, and got up to skate back home. Later that day I went on a several mile walk with a friend with no problem.

To me, what I felt that day was a clear example of the presence of the Christ. It was the tangible presence of God’s message to me, comforting and healing me. It didn’t just calm me down, it transformed me. It brought harmony where there had been discord a moment before. It brought wellness where there had been pain. It brought light and love, and left me whole, upright and free.

And this is why I practice Christian Science. It’s the best way I know to cultivate and achieve that sense of wholeness that transforms. I love what Mary Baker Eddy writes: “The Christian Science God is universal, eternal, divine Love, which changeth not and causeth no evil, disease, nor death” (Science and Health).

I encourage you to think further about perfect God, perfect creation, and to see yourselves as part of that reality. You have everything you need to overcome the false evidence of the senses, because you are included in that perfect creation.

Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V, Part VI, Part VII

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Part IV: Evil explained

Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V, Part VI, Part VII

So what else happened in that example in Part III? How did the true idea about God and myself eject the infection? This brings us to another element of the practice of Christian Science, and that is how to overcome evil. Evil takes many forms, as we know from our eyes and ears. There’s disease and sickness, there’s sinful or self-destructive practices, there’s death itself. All of these can be overcome with the true idea, those highest of metaphysical ideas, about God and His creation. And it gets back to the core idea that God is All.

God is All. Really think about that with me for a moment. Really stretch yourself mentally to comprehend a universe where God is All. A universe where those things that are God, such as Love, Truth, Life, are All. Where Spirit is All. What would be the characteristics of that universe? Everything in that universe would express God, because everything there is created by God, perfect God, perfect Love, wholly Spirit. There wouldn’t be space for anything else, since all would be filled by God.

So in this entirely spiritual universe, where does the material world reside? The world that we perceive with our five physical senses? How related to God’s universe is anything our five physical senses tell us? In fact, by definition, if our physical senses are telling us something, doesn’t it follow that that "something" must be also physical? The senses can’t tell us about things unlike themselves, can’t tell us about things of the Spirit.

The Bible tells us, “But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him. But God hath revealed them unto us by his Spirit: for the Spirit searcheth all things, yea, the deep things of God” (I Cor 2:9,10). Christian Science maintains, through starting with perfect God as cause and perfect creation as effect, that the testimony of the physical senses is suspect, unreliable, and in fact, false. Science and Health tells us, “God is natural good, and is represented only by the idea of goodness; while evil should be regarded as unnatural, because it is opposed to the nature of Spirit, God.”

A big leap? Again, I can understand how you’d think that. But look at the example of my finger (in Part III). A small example perhaps, but a definite proof of what happens when you displace a false physical concept with a true spiritual one. In my thinking that evening as I prayed, I filled my thought with that ah-ha idea of my own purity. This new idea displaced the former testimony of the physical senses of an infected finger.

In effect, I changed my mind from believing in myself as infected to seeing myself as pure. This change, this transformation, occurred in thought, in that prayerful space of contemplation. This is the place where all healing takes place. And the absolute truth of the new idea supplanted the false view to the point that the false view didn’t even appear real to my physical senses anymore. It dissipated and was gone.

This isn’t just a matter of convincing yourself of one thing over another. This works because the absolute truths about God and reality are actually TRUE. They are the truth about reality. And whenever this truth breaks through in some form, we experience a transformation of the human condition so that it more closely aligns with spiritual reality.

Jesus did this, and Christian Science shows how. When he was curing the sick, redeeming the sinful, overcoming death itself, he was demonstrating that the truth of the universe, God and His laws, apply even in the human condition. He was proving that the human condition is malleable, subjective -- in fact, illusory. The same conviction enabled him to walk on water, to teleport entire boats across bodies of water, to walk through walls.

The Bible tells about all these things. The interesting thing is that the Bible does not ever claim that these things were particular to Jesus. Rather, Jesus is actually quoted as saying, “He that believeth on me, the works that I do shall he do also; and greater works than these shall he do” (John 14:12). Okay, now, how could we do that unless what Jesus did was based on a Principle that we can apply in our own lives today?

So the thing that we’re fighting in bringing God’s creation into view is the false view, the illusion of the senses. Faith traditions and teachings have described this illusion of the senses in many many different ways. The Bible says “the carnal mind,” some folks say “Satan” or “the devil.” Others talk about the “yin” (darkness) as opposed to the “yang” (light). How you think of this illusion can really shape how you decide to combat it. But if you think of it as illusion, you get the mastery.

This is a concept that is especially particular to Christian Science -- that evil, in whatever form, is not real. This is because again, Christian Science starts from the facts of God’s allness and His perfection. These two facts about God can only lead to the logical conclusion that anything unlike God must not be a part of All, but must instead be illusory. This applies even to matter itself. Consider this from Science and Health: “Since God is All, there is no room for His unlikeness. God, Spirit, alone created all, and called it good. Therefore evil, being contrary to good, is unreal, and cannot be the product of God.”

Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V, Part VI, Part VII

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Part II: God is All

Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V, Part VI, Part VII

Where did the discoverer of Christian Science, Mary Baker Eddy, get these ideas? She didn’t make them up. Nor did she do a comprehensive study of all the world’s religions. What she did do was study the Bible.

The Bible characterizes God in many ways, including as Almighty, as Creator, as Spirit, as Love, and because these ideas are absolute truth, they appear in many faith traditions, even those that are not biblically based. These most inspired of views of God that the Bible articulates gained Eddy’s full attention in her own spiritual search. She knew that there had to be consistent answers, a way to bring these ideas into focus. She knew that there had to be a “grand unification explanation,” if you will, that made sense. She writes about winning her way “to absolute conclusions through divine revelation, reason, and demonstration” (Science and Health).

This is from Eddy’s seminal work on the subject, Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, a copy of which you can browse through online at spirituality.com. In this book she fully explains the concepts of Christian Science and expands the definition of God. There’s no mystery here; anyone can read about it and learn it for themselves. Here’s one of the ways she describes God: “God is what the Scriptures declare Him to be, -- Life, Truth, Love. Spirit is divine Principle, and divine Principle is Love, and Love is Mind, and Mind is not both good and bad, for God is Mind; therefore there is in reality one Mind only, because there is one God” (Science and Health).

So it’s all very well to have this higher concept of God, but what good does it do us? How do we use this concept to better our lives, to achieve happiness and healing? The answer lies in a Biblical passage that Mary Baker Eddy unlocked the true meaning of. There’s an entire chapter in Science and Health about this -- it’s called, Genesis. In this chapter, Eddy takes the creation story from the Bible and interprets its spiritual meaning. When she gets to the passage from Genesis one, “ ‘And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness;’ ” she again takes this to its logical conclusion.

Eddy writes in response to the Bible passage, “God fashions all things, after His own likeness. Life is reflected in existence, Truth in truthfulness, God in goodness, which impart their own peace and permanence. Love, redolent with unselfishness, bathes all in beauty and light. … Man, made in His likeness, possesses and reflects God's dominion over all the earth. Man and woman as coexistent and eternal with God forever reflect, in glorified quality, the infinite Father-Mother God” (Science and Health).

Think about it. Once we’ve established God as perfect, isn’t it logical to conclude that His creation is also perfect? Isn’t that what “image and likeness” means? For why would He create something imperfect on purpose, if He is in fact perfect, all power, and all Love? The Bible says He created us in His image and likeness, and there’s really no reason for Him to create something flawed. It doesn’t make sense. So, the logical conclusion is that He didn’t.

Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V, Part VI, Part VII

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Part I: Foundational ideas

Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V, Part VI, Part VII


What is Christian Science? I suppose no one person could define it entirely, not even its discoverer. But this little series gives some ideas about what Christian Science means to me, and how it can be a help to anyone, no matter what their faith tradition or spiritual background.

You may already have looked into many of the world's faith traditions. Each one touches in part on what I’d like to call “absolute Truth.” There are universal concepts that most traditions and teachings share, such as the power of goodness and mankind’s ability to focus thought to achieve spiritual growth.

What Mary Baker Eddy’s discovery, Christian Science, does, is extend these highest of metaphysical concepts to their logical conclusion. This absolute basis of pure metaphysics enables us to achieve healing through a disciplined mental state, otherwise known as prayer.

Here’s an example. Many teachings espouse the idea that God is All. You could consider this as one of these high metaphysical truths that mankind has discerned in our growth Spiritward. Christian Science takes that idea, and insists it is fact. And that since God is All, in reality there is nothing else. Add to this the truth that many have discerned, that God is Love. Take this and the idea before to its logical extreme, and you have Love is All. Period. No exceptions. There is nothing but Love.

This dislodges God from the notion that He is simply a big version of a human being, and places Him squarely in the arena of total Spirit, for Love is not a material thing, but a spiritual idea.

Let’s add to this another one: God is all power. Many faiths agree with this point. Christian Science takes the position that He is indeed ALL POWER. Meaning that He’s not just all powerful, but actually the only power there is. Which, if you add that to the concept of God as Love, means that Love is the only power there is.

Remember that scene from Disney’s Aladdin, where the genii is discussing his own powers, and he says, “Phenomenal cosmic power! Itty bitty living space”? He actually claims to be omnipotent at one point, yet he’s trapped in a lamp! This is not omnipotence. To truly be omnipotent, the being that possessed all this power would need to be the only power there is. If anyone else had any power, the omnipotent being would only be partially potent. In Christian Science, God is truly omnipotent, the only power there is.

So this touches on the Christian Science concept of God. As you can see, this concept goes way beyond thinking of Him with any human characteristics. He’s not confined to a body or a form, nor is He limited as to His abilities or benevolence. In fact, He’s not even a “He” – I’m using this just as a convenient pronoun.

God in Christian Science is universal Spirit, filling all space, Creator of all, wholly good, Love, Truth, Life itself. It’s a completely spiritual concept. This idea of God is the foundation of everything that flows through Christian Science reasoning. Christian Science starts with perfect God as the explanation for the universe.


Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V, Part VI, Part VII

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Part III: Creation is perfect

Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V, Part VI, Part VII

Creation is perfect -- this perhaps is the startling central point of Christian Science. Man, meaning men and women together, is perfect. Mary Baker Eddy states, “God is the creator of man, and, the divine Principle of man remaining perfect, the divine idea or reflection, man, remains perfect. Man is the expression of God's being” (Science and Health).

And, another thought: “God, the divine Principle of man, and man in God's likeness are inseparable, harmonious, and eternal. The Science of being furnishes the rule of perfection, and brings immortality to light. God and man are not the same, but in the order of divine Science, God and man coexist and are eternal. God is the parent Mind, and man is God's spiritual offspring” (Science and Health).

Creation is perfect because God is perfect. Some of you might shake your head at this, because it seems obvious that what we see and hear around us is not perfect, and I’ll agree with you there. So perhaps the only conclusion we can come to is that what we see and hear around us is not actually God’s creation.

Trippy? Perhaps. But this is indeed the conclusion that Mary Baker Eddy came to. And when you start with perfect God as Creator, there’s really no other conclusion you can reach. I understand this is all sounding theoretical. And it would all be theory if it stopped there, but it doesn’t. Eddy proved that through an understanding of this perfect God and perfect creation, you can actually heal.

Let me give you a quick example. Once I had an infected fingertip, right by the nail. It was painful enough that it inhibited my ability to type, and my job at the time depended a lot on typing. Well, I decided to use the ideas of Christian Science as I’d learned from Science and Health to cure this problem. I’d experienced healing other times in my life, and I was sure it would work this time.

So I started with the problem itself, which was infection. I asked myself, what’s the spiritual opposite of infection? And I thought, Purity. Okay so far. But then I thought, I guess I have to be more pure. So I tried it for a day or so, tried to make my thoughts and actions more pure. And this was a useful exercise, but it didn’t cure the finger.

So then I prayed about it more deeply. What did I need to learn here? And what I discovered was that I hadn’t started, as I described above, with perfect God. I had instead started with imperfect finger and tried to heal from that basis. It didn’t work. So this time, I started with perfect God.

I thought to myself, God is perfect. He is completely Spirit already, 100% pure. Purity is established since God is pure. And I am God’s image and likeness. Therefore, I am pure already.

This was a major ah-ha moment for me. I hadn’t generally thought of myself as 100% pure! But now in my prayers about that finger, I declared with spiritual authority my own purity as God’s image and likeness. I didn’t have to change to become pure, I was already. I gained a genuine conviction about this new spiritual self-definition, and went to bed for the evening. In the morning, I saw the finger had drained, and the opening quickly closed up and the finger was good as new.

Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V, Part VI, Part VII

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What is Christian Science?

What is Christian Science, and why would anyone follow it? This seven-part series attempts to give a brief explanation, at least from my point of view. For a one-page summary of my thoughts, go here.

Table of Contents

Part I: Foundational Ideas
Part II: God is All
Part III: Creation is perfect
Part IV: Evil explained
Part V: Healing example
Part VI: The Christ
Part VII: Why I am a Christian Scientist

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God's nestlings

A friend of mine sent me this passage earlier this week, and I think it's quite comforting:

"Thus founded upon the rock of Christ, when storm and tempest beat against this sure foundation, you, safely sheltered in the strong tower of hope, faith, and Love, are God's nestlings; and He will hide you in His feathers till the storm has passed. Into His haven of Soul there enters no element of earth to cast out angels, to silence the right intuition which guides you safely home."
Mary Baker Eddy, Miscellaneous Writings, p. 152

Rest in this over the weekend, my friends!

With Love,
Laura

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Feeling beautiful

Here's another from Dear Abby:

Ugly Duckling Syndrome

And I think her answer makes good common sense, but I wish I could add more to it. There are deeper issues that, if resolved, can help a person feel beautiful.

I know, because I too as a child was an ugly duckling. You know, the kid who no one would play with? Who was considered odd? Skinny? Did nothing athletic? The few friends I did have and I constituted the "cast out" group at my grade school.

Later, as I began to develop a figure and a smile, I still never could shake the feeling that I was substandard. When the prettier girl got the guy, I figured that was only fair -- she deserved to be happy, I didn't. When a guy did give me some attention, I figured he was doing me a favor so I reciprocated obsessively until he tired of me. Even when I looked in the mirror and saw something pleasant looking back at me, I figured it was a fluke.

Years passed, and I went through the typical bad relationships, up-and-down weight loss, extreme self-hatred. Then there came a time when I was living in Los Angeles, of all places, the land of "everyone looks perfect." And there are some very very beautiful people there, walking the streets with us mere mortals every day. In my own contrarian way, I decided to differentiate myself.

I stopped coloring my hair, and let all my gray show. I stopped wearing makeup. I stopped wearing revealing clothes. For about three years, I stripped away all the disguises I'd been using, and tried to show only myself.

And I discovered something. I am beautiful.

When I couldn't rely on my externals to communicate my beauty, I had to turn to internals. I think of internals as spiritual qualities. These qualities are linked to our Creator, Spirit. Qualities like love, patience, caring, listening, fun, joy, creativity, peace. Since these are spiritual qualities, each one of us has access to them wherever and whoever we are.

And what was fun to realize is that no one has any more or less of them. I had been thinking of myself as not having enough beauty, as being deprived somehow. But when I began to express those spiritual qualities, beauty became natural and effortless. I don't think you can help being beautiful when you're being loving, or when you're at peace. When you're having fun or expressing creativity.

This does touch on what Dear Abby said, "Stop obsessing about yourself." I could see then that worrying about my external appearance and how it rated compared to others was a form of self-obsession. Expressing spiritual qualities was self-less, because it's about expressing Soul (another word for God).

Check this out:

The recipe for beauty is to have less illusion and more Soul, to retreat from the belief of pain or pleasure in the body into the unchanging calm and glorious freedom of spiritual harmony. (Science and Health)

"Less illusion and more Soul." What a great recipe.

I knew I was making progress when one day, while I was sitting at a park overlooking the ocean and reading, a man approached me and just appreciated how at peace and pretty I looked. I really felt like one of the beautiful people then.

These days, relocated to New England, I'm back to coloring my hair and wearing makeup. But that's not what makes me feel beautiful. The smile on someone's else's face shining back at me gives me the glow of beauty, and I feel blessed.

You are beautiful, too. So are all the people around you. See spiritually, and the world becomes a place of beauty.

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Deposits of good

Okay, I guess not every source of inspiration has to be profound. Follow this link and play the movie to start your day with a smile (be sure to have your audio on for the song).

Beadicons

And this reminds me that I wanted to be grateful for a bit of help I received yesterday. I was waiting at a T stop in Boston to get downtown, and reading the rather complicated instructions about fares. The machines to get a token didn't work, and there was no attendant. But I had to get downtown quickly, I had been running late. I needed $1.25. I had the quarter, but no single.

I figured it would just work out somehow, I'd tell the trolley driver a sob story or something, but then a young professional guy appeared. He was really adorable, dressed well, smiling face, I don't think I'll ever forget the impression he made. And we got to chatting. Clearly he was very familiar with this train, so I asked him what the deal was with the payment. Eventually I asked him, too, if he had change for a $5. Sadly, he said, "No, I really don't." But then he handed me a crisp new one dollar bill!

I don't know why this touched me so much. I was thanking him profusely as the train rolled up. He watched over me as I paid and got a seat, and said "good luck!" for my appointment downtown. Then he disappeared into the crowd.

I just smiled for several stops. It eventually occurred to me to give him my card in case I could ever respond in kind, but of course by then he must have already left the train because I couldn't find him.

Why is there so much power in such a simple act? In itself it was small, but the nature of it, the gift, the unexpectedness, the grace and goodwill expressed -- all that packed into one moment.

What do we do with unrequited goodness? For me it feels like my account is out of balance, and I have to reconcile it somehow. I've received more good than I've given, so I have to give back. And since I can't give back to the gracious one who gave to me, I need to seek and find a place to make my own good deposit.

Yet the good feeling doesn't wear off when I help only *one* person, I find myself now wanting to help every person I see. Perhaps that's the way that young man goes through life, just ready to help. What a world it would be if we were all like him.

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Finding Your Voice: Part II

Yesterday I wrote about finding your voice and how important that is to the full expression of the Divine. Today I'd like to consider how to tell the difference between what is your authentic voice, and what is perhaps a detour, a delay.

And I think it comes down to this: Your voice must be good.

I've written too about each of us being the emanation of infinite good, which you can call God, Spirit, the Divine, any number of names. This Creator of all fills all space, and is perfect. A perfect Creator implies a perfect creation, since how could perfection create anything substandard? (This is the core metaphysical teaching of Christian Science, the healing system I follow.)

So no matter how individual our different voices are, in order to be authentic, they must align with that perfect Creator. Anything out of alignment with that Creator is not authentic, but is an imposition on us, delaying the complete realization of our voice.

How can you tell the difference? The Bible gives a good metaphor, "By their fruits ye shall know them." (Matt 7:20) What is the result of the expression of our voice? Do we bring more light, more joy, more compassion to the world? Are we more free, more intuitive, more productive?

There is an element of obedience to expression. It's the obedience of alignment with good. Now, "good" can't be defined by others for us, we must discover it for ourselves. I don't believe we can find absolute right and wrong, not in this human experience. What was good in one instance may not be good at another time, and vice versa. But as we connect more fully with the Creator through exploring the spiritual nature of things, we can discern more readily what is the highest good at any given time and live accordingly.

The point is that finding your voice is not an excuse to say and do whatever we want. And we can't justify hurting others by claiming, "I was just expressing myself." Yet there may be times when authentic self-expression makes others uncomfortable, rocks their world. It's up to each of us, as we grow in strength, to show compassion and understanding to those around us, even as we perhaps challenge them to consider new perspectives.

And the glorious thing to me is the infinite nature of good. It's like a kaleidoscope, ever beautiful, ever evolving. There's always more to discover, more to express. Several years ago, I used to think that just "being good" would be excrucitatingly boring, that it would make us all alike. But as I've grown and spent more time contemplating spiritual good, I find that my concept of good is constantly expanding. It's a delight to me to find today's good, which is new from yesterday's and will lead to tomorrow's. I never tire of it.

This, to me, is authentic. It's where we all belong -- in that space of good, ever expanding.

Here's a hint from Mary Baker Eddy about the continuing appearance of good:

As mortals gain more correct views of God and man, multitudinous objects of creation, which before were invisible, will become visible. When we realize that Life is Spirit, never in nor of matter, this understanding will expand into self-completeness, finding all in God, good, and needing no other consciousness. (264:13)

I'm still thinking about this, so perhaps there will be more tomorrow.

Some additional passages about perfection:

Remember that man's perfection is real and unimpeachable, whereas imperfection is blameworthy, unreal, and is not brought about by divine Love. (414:28)

Perfection does not animate imperfection. Inasmuch as God is good and the fount of all being, He does not produce moral or physical deformity; therefore such deformity is not real, but is illusion, the mirage of error. (243:31-3 Perfection)

In the midst of imperfection, perfection is seen and acknowledged only by degrees. The ages must slowly work up to perfection. (233:8-10)

Have a great day, filled with good!

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The 8th Habit: Finding Your Voice

Stephen Covey changed the world about 15 years ago with the publishing of his seminal work, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. I came late to the party, only reading it within the last couple years. But I embraced its message. In his "personal note" at the end of the book, he quotes Teilhard de Chardin, "We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience."

Now Covey's come out with a new book that is again rocking my world. The 8^th Habit: From Effectiveness to Greatness strikes a chord on many levels, not the least of which is that he has again observed and synthesized what people had begun to suspect on their own but hadn't been able to articulate.

It turns out the 8^th Habit is finding your voice and encouraging others to find theirs. This coincides so specifically with my own spiritual journey that I am (almost) speechless.

For me, spiritual progress can be seen in some observable stages. First, a person connects with Spirit to solve their own problems. They may need better health, more money, harmony in relationships, etc. When any of these things is out of kilter, it's hard to take the next step, so they must be resolved first. And that's okay. It's important that the spiritual journey feed and sustain ourselves first.

Next, a person may want to give back, so they begin to share what they've learned, perhaps in the context of a spiritual community, church, support group, school. They seek to magnify their connection to Spirit by connecting also to Spirit's creation, other people. And this too is a sign of progress. The person gets as much as they give in the group setting, sometimes conforming for a time to the group's values as their own spiritual journey is strengthened. But eventually they have to make those values their own.

And this I think leads us to what Covey's saying. Whatever our background or belief system, we can't just accept it because our parents or friends or fellow church members have. We need to make it our own. We need to do our own spiritual study, contemplation, application, in order for the expression of our convictions to be authentic. It's in authenticity that the true power of what we know shines forth.

For me this means not telling people who call me what to think or how to believe, but asking, what does a particular spiritual concept or passage mean to you? I think each one of us is on our own path. This is entirely individual, indeed, it must be because Spirit is infinite. That infinite Spirit has created each of us, no two alike. That being the case, it is actually limiting to believe we are supposed to duplicate or emulate the journey of another, even in admiration or agreement. It is vital for us to find our own path and stay true to it -- otherwise, we are truncating the infinite expression of Spirit.

This coincides with one of my favorite sections of Mary Baker Eddy's Science and Health. From about pages 223 – 227, she discusses freedom -- from sickness, from sin, from despotism -- and she links this freedom to "free thought." I find these passages liberating. I feel she's telling me to have my own relationship with spiritual ideas, and only I can determine what they mean to me. My own freedom of thought is a divine right, and I must take advantage of it.

No one can do this for us, we have to do it ourselves. So I'm now asking myself, how much of what I think is because someone else told it to me? How much of it is genuine inspiration? Which spiritual truths have resonated within me, which have I proven for myself? This is my authentic journey, and the only thing that will enable me to help others.

What has resonated with you and made the most difference in your life?

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Accident, or opportunity?

A version of this article by Laura ran in The Christian Science Monitor, Tues. May 17, 2005

My sisters and I were rear-ended the other evening.

On the way to a girls’ night out, our car was rammed from behind with a loud smash. Each of our three heads pitched forward and snapped back. Stunned and jolted, I watched as my younger sister (who was driving) jumped out of the car to survey the damage. The two drivers began to exchange information and agreed to call the police. We moved the cars off the road to wait for the squad car.

For a while I couldn’t think. Fears filled my head. What if we were injured? What if the other driver wasn’t insured? I was due to fly home the next day -- what if this delayed my trip home somehow? The word “whiplash” hung in the air, although we didn’t discuss it at length. My anxiety actually began to make me feel nauseous.

While we waited for the police, the other driver burbled forth her life story. She had just had surgery. She was going through a divorce. She had a chronic skin condition. She was late on some of her bill payments.

All of this just added to my confusion. The policeman arrived, and my sisters and I got back in the car to wait for him to write up the report. And that’s when the rubber hit the road, so to speak.

After comparing notes about how we were feeling -- they were jolted, I was queasy – I said, “All right now. How can we think about this?” This was family code for, “I’m a little too upset about this, can we make the conversation more positive?” And my older sister got right to it.

She reminded us that we had a choice. We didn’t have to think of ourselves as victims, or the other driver as at fault. We could instead see this as an opportunity to learn something, to help someone else, and to love each other.

My sisters and I are all familiar with the teachings of Christian Science as found in Science and Health, though we each practice in different degrees. We were all willing at that moment to share spiritual ideas to help each other relieve any tension or anxiety.

Christian Science has as one of its key concepts the idea that Love is omnipresent, that it fills all space. It also teaches that this Love is omnipotent, or all powerful. To me, this has always meant that Love is irresistible. I can’t ever be separate from it, I can’t ever fall out of it. I am enveloped in Love. The discoverer of Christian Science, Mary Baker Eddy, writes, “The depth, breadth, height, might, majesty, and glory of infinite Love fill all space. That is enough!” (Science and Health).

The three of us considered together the omnipresence of Love, defined in Science and Health as God Himself. We talked about how this idea of Love could turn around what our eyes and ears were telling us. I was especially grateful for this thought, because as the passenger in the backseat, I had the best view of all of us when the bump occurred, and I was having a hard time letting the image go. It kept replaying. My sister reminded me that if we hung onto the image of impact, we’d be stuck being worried about the consequences. The idea that Love was the only thing really there helped me turn from this image and entertain a new idea -- that we were all children of God, brought together to witness to His love.

In the car that evening as we talked, I began to see that the other driver was also enveloped in that Love. And it became clear to me that if she was in Love, and my sisters and I were in Love, there could be no conflict, no injury. I could feel compassion for the other driver, see past her litany of troubles, and regard her as the beloved of Love.

Everything calmed down for me after that. I lost any fear that there would be unpleasant repercussions from this circumstance. The damage to the two vehicles was minor. We soon went ahead with our girls’ night out plans, and the conversation continued along spiritual lines, giving us an evening rich in understanding and support. Later I sent a note to the other driver, letting her know that we were all fine and sharing how we’d prayed, and I included a copy of Mary Baker Eddy’s book. Now, when I look back, it seems the entire episode provided not an accident, but an opportunity, for love and blessing.

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One Mind

Okay, today's might be a bit loopy.

Sometimes I like to latch onto a spiritual idea, then contemplate it, taking it to its logical extreme.

Yesterday, I spent a good long time with "There is only one Mind."

Mary Baker Eddy illuminates this concept in Science and Health. She includes Mind as one of her synonyms for God, and this implies that Mind is omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent. All the omni's. For Mind to be God, it has to be all that God is -- just plain All, actually.

Just thinking about that is a interesting thing, because if there's only one Mind, who's doing the thinking?

And it occurred to me that Mind is such an infinite creative Mind that its very ideas feel like beings in and of themselves. You know how sometimes a novelist will say that when he was writing, the characters took on a life of their own? But they remained creations of the novelist's mind. It's like that. Mind thought us up. We all emanate from the same Source, Mind. We are Mind having ideas. We are the ideas of Mind.

Since this is the case, our very thoughts are extensions of our being ideas of Mind. Okay, this is where it gets loopy, or at least for me, "mind"-bending.

Mind is so All, so all-power, so all-knowing, that nothing else is doing any of the knowing. The very ideas of Mind express consciousness and self-awareness as an extension of Mind. My being aware of myself is actually a function of being an idea of Mind, for Mind is the ultimate and only Self.

This always begs the question, Well, what about the stuff that doesn't seem to be Mind at all, but is matter? Mary Baker Eddy talks about mortal mind, the suppositious opposite of Mind -- but then she clarifies, "How can there be more than all?" So the mortal mind we perceive in the physical isn't real, it's delusion.

Yesterday as I prayed on this, I put that aside for a time to reason out later and just focused on the allness of Mind. I placed myself in the reality of being an idea of that Mind, not having my own orbit but being an emanation of Mind. Having only those thoughts that are flowing forth from Mind.

Then I thought of all Mind's ideas, each one of us. And I caught a glimpse of Mind's ideas rejoicing when they recognize each other. The joy and delight of realizing, Oh! You're Mind's idea, too! We can interact and our interaction represents an even further unfolding of Mind's ideas! All is idea!

I'm still thinking (no pun intended) about this. It's going to be a journey to fully grasp the implications.

But at least I have to say -- I'm glad to know you. :)

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Spiritual empowerment

Heard two inspiring tales yesterday from two friends.

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One friend out in California noticed that her husband was sliding into one of his periodic depressions. Rather than get anxious or angry, she prayed for him. She kept regarding him as loved and perfect of God and as God's child, and patiently decided to keep that frame of mind no matter how long he was depressed. Well, he bounced out of the depression and was his normal self almost immediately.

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Another friend told about her husband becoming distant, and she thought it was because he was again using drugs. His income dried up, and she found herself as the sole support for them and their son. She owns her own business, and work coming in had been slow.

Well, she remembered a time before when she had been discouraged. She complained to a friend about living in a poor economic area and that people simply could not afford what she had to offer. She felt that finding the ones that could afford her would be like "finding a needle in a hay stack."

Her friend told her God knew exactly where that needle was and that she did not have to look for it, but it would find her. My friend told me, "After hanging up the phone I really took that to heart and thought of it for about 10 minutes. And of course you guessed it, the phone rang and that needle found me! It turned out to be one of the best jobs I ever had."

In remembering this, she again gave gratitude to God for all His help, and for the fact that the day her husband showed signs of becoming unreliable, she began getting calls, and business became busier than ever.

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One thing I love about spirituality is the empowerment it brings. Neither of these women became victims of their circumstances, but had the inner resources to rise above what was happening. And the results showing God's love for them came quickly.

Mary Baker Eddy writes:

The very circumstance, which your suffering sense deems wrathful and afflictive, Love can make an angel entertained unawares.
Science and Health

It's almost as though life's trials exist for the sole purpose of forcing us to learn more about God and our connection with Him. One of the strangest but most profound sentences in Science and Health is:

Trials are proofs of God's care.
p. 66

It's part of a larger passage that reads:

Trials teach mortals not to lean on a material staff, — a broken reed, which pierces the heart. We do not half remember this in the sunshine of joy and prosperity. Sorrow is salutary. Through great tribulation we enter the kingdom. Trials are proofs of God's care. Spiritual development germinates not from seed sown in the soil of material hopes, but when these decay, Love propagates anew the higher joys of Spirit, which have no taint of earth. Each successive stage of experience unfolds new views of divine goodness and love. p. 66

For why would we reach for spiritual reality if the material world were entirely perfect? We wouldn't. But then we'd be so cut off from infinite good. I love the spiritual principle that demands that we look past or through or above our material lives to something higher, more permanent, more real.

If there's any reason for our suffering, that's it.

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